[jen1447]

Ok, give me a bit to prepare my 'case file' on you lol. Is your GF aware that you're here? (And does she know you're worried about this orgasm thing?) It could be beneficial for you both to participate in this.

[Motorguy]

I'm 23 years old and I've never had intercourse. The most I've ever done with anyone is have my girlfriend rub me through my underwear, which should have been enough in itself to get me off, but I can't seem to do it! I even tried masturbating in front of her and I couldn't come. I would get so, so close, and so frustrated, but I couldn't do it. I love her so much, she's so sexy and gorgeous and I get so aroused when I'm with her, but when it all comes down to it, I just can't seem to let go and have an orgasm. I don't want her to think that it's somehow her fault, like I'm not really attracted to her or something, and she says she knows and that it's okay, but I don't feel like it is. I want to share this with her so badly. I still consider myself a virgin, and I've been waiting all this time for the right person, and I know without a doubt that she's the one I've been waiting for. I worry that when we actually do have sex, I STILL won't be able to come. Why can't I just orgasm?!

Well Serhilcious it's like a baseball player who's in a slump. Its not the swing is mess up but his head. You just need to relax you are all worked up mentally relax enjoy your self with girl friend and don't worry about the outside elements. Maybe get a book on meditation this works wonder with the sex drive clears your mind it allows you to focus. Your brain tells your penis what to do so some more foreplay may the trick as well.So good luck in the future for you and your girl friend.

[Serahlicious]

She does know that I'm worried about this problem I'm having, but she doesn't know I'm here asking for help. She doesn't have internet at the moment, either. This isn't as big of a deal to her as it is to me. She's been so amazing about comforting me, telling me that it's fine and normal and that we'll get there, and that even if I was never able to come in front of her, that it wouldn't matter because that's not why she's with me. I just want so badly to share this special thing with her that I've never shared with anyone else, and I know that even though she might not be bothered by the fact that I can't do it right now, that it would make her happy for it to happen someday.

I almost don't want her to know that I'm here asking about it, not because I'm trying to hide anything from her, but it's a little embarrassing and I'd just like a few pointers to help me figure myself out. You can just interview me, and if you have questions about her I'll answer them as best I can.

[jen1447]

That's fine hon, no pressure.

Ok first the easy way (or the cheating way lol) - do you squirt at all? If you're a squirter, you may be able to do it (quite likely actually) without orgasming, which in a way would be rewarding to her because she'd ....see squirt lol. I don't suggest you fake an orgasm tho along with it, but it might be pleasurable nonetheless. Let's tackle that one first.

[Serahlicious]

I don't think I've ever squirted. Sometimes I release stuff, but it isn't forceful like a squirt. Actually, it doesn't always come out until I go to the bathroom after an orgasm. :/

[jen1447]

I call that version of it "gush." It still counts, so maybe you can learn to do it reliably. How much comes out? And do you know what/where your g-spot is? (And don't worry, you don't have to spray it all over the room for her to appreciate it. )

[Serahlicious]

I'm not sure how much there is. I get really, really wet, especially when I'm with her, so it's kind of hard to tell what's arousal and what's "gush." Like I said, I don't feel like much comes out until I use the bathroom afterward. I know that at some point the "gush" makes it into my urethra, but I seem to be unable to release it usually, which is where the feeling that I need to "go" comes from. I do know where my g-spot is, and how to use it. It usually works best for me when I start with my clit, then mess around at the entrance, barely go in, and get to the g-spot near the end.

[jen1447]

Okay, I understand. A lot of times the g-spot is the trigger for squirting, especially for women who don't have a lot of experience with it. One thing I want to suggest to you (and 'practice' this while masturbating alone so you don't have to be worried about embarrassment over accidents) is to ignore feeling that you have to go and ....let yourself go. I won't get real into the whole squirting thing here but the reason it feels like that is because squirt does in fact go to your urethra, only from a different place than your pee. That's what causes the 'go' sensation, but if it's happening when you're aroused, it's most likely squirt because squirt gets sent up during arousal. If you pee prior to masturbating you can be pretty sure that you won't pee when you feel like you have to go, and instead squirt will come out (or a mostly squirt/little bit of pee mixture - don't worry about that, we all do it at times).

Reason I'm going into this at all is because we seem to be still on the possibilities of squirting for your GF to make her happy and serve as a possible substitute for orgasming, or maybe a temporary thing until we can make you orgasm reliably.

Anyway, practice masturbating your g-spot, let it 'go,' see yourself squirt (hopefully). Don't worry about the quantity, she'll likely appreciate any amount. Then practice more to get control of your squirt trigger and start doing it for her. The great thing about it is it's usually a physiological response, so again, you don't have to actually have an orgasm to do it. Easy! (Plus it looks really cool and the scene that unfolds can be quite kinky.)

Okay, onto the real orgasms next!

[Serahlicious]

Okay, I'll try that Another thing I was thinking was that a camera might be helpful. We tried this over Skype once, and even though she wasn't really in the room, I still couldn't do it. Again, there was a time limit, I got to overthinking, blah blah blah. So maybe recording myself on my own time, just for practice, would help? I tried it once and apparently I can't even orgasm in front of my laptop when it's recording, because I'm thinking about the recording and what I look like and a lot of the similar things I was thinking when she was in the room with me. I'm really pretty sure that train of thought is what's blocking me from releasing.

[jen1447]

That sounds like a good idea. I'll write more later.