[Stillness]

People like to resist labels these days. For me, naming things gives them form and expands understanding. I just found out that I'm sapiosexual. I already knew it, I just didn't know that there was a term for it.

From Wiktionary:

Etymology
From Latin sapiens (“wise, judicious”) + sexual.

Adjective
sapiosexual (comparative more sapiosexual, superlative most sapiosexual)
1. Attracted to intelligence or the human mind.

Noun
sapiosexual (plural sapiosexuals)
1. A person sexually attracted to intelligence or the human mind.

Some people claim that intellect is the attribute that primarily, or even solely, attracts them. For me it heightens attraction drastically or can make an otherwise attractive person unappealing. It's what sets us apart from the other living things on this planet and reflects the divine.

Where my sapiosexuals at!? (That's an ebonic "shout out" or homage. It may turn off sapiosexuals as the implied verb and ending in a preposition can trigger thoughts of lesser intellect or ignorance. It is no such indicator. The ability to switch between dialects is probably the opposite. But, let's not make this awkward, fellow sapiosexuals. I'm taken.)

[Motorguy]

Well that's the problem we have in this country we put labels on people. First of all beauty is only skin deep if you going to be lovers or get marriage or even be friends don't do it because there beautiful. In the long run if you do it just makes you look and completely shallow person through and through. That's why most marriage in Hollywood don't last because of all this.

[calibri~]

Wow, I didn't know there was a word for that!

[Motorguy]

There's a word for everything now days we make them up now days lol.

[Magnetism]

Yes! Intelligence makes or breaks someone. A deep thinker that can challenge me is also very attractive.

[Stillness]

Haha, I'd love to know who chose "I’ll take good looks/body and whatever brains come with it."

[DreamP346]

Haha, I'd love to know who chose "I’ll take good looks/body and whatever brains come with it."

I guess it depends on what you are looking for. If it's just sex or a one-night-stand, then probably looks is the way to go. Good looks with some brains works fine. Although for me, smarts is so sexy, it gives me smart-goggles.

[Gary7]

Haha, I'd love to know who chose "I’ll take good looks/body and whatever brains come with it."

**takes a bow**

I did. Only slightly tongue in cheek.

I don't like the way a lot of people dismiss physical beauty. I think it's typically politically correct to say things like "beauty is only skin deep" and "looks fade". Why is physical beauty any less important than any other aspect you look for in a mate? Because it "fades"? I haven't found that to be true. I've been married to the same woman for 15 years and we're at the age where bad things are starting to happen to our bodies because of age. But you know what? For the most part when I look at her I still see her as the 31-year old babe I met at the bar during happy hour 17 years ago! We've got plenty of problems in our marriage, but looks "fading" isn't one of them.

I don't have a problem with people who think other things are more important in a mate. Everyone has their list of things they find desirable in a significant other. And honestly, if I wasn't being a smart aleck, I would have chosen the answer about attraction being complex. On the other hand I dislike it when people say someone who believes physical beauty is an important factor to have in a mate is "shallow". For me, physical beauty is in the top three things I think are important. Yep. I'm "Mr. Shallow".

[Magnetism]

I'm with Gary. Liking how your partner looks matters. When looks matter, my idea of hot could be okay or below average to someone else. Everyone has a type. Trying to force attraction for me can be frustrating. Personality matters, but I still won't underestimate looking at your partner and wanting them

[effy2014]

For most of my adult life (except for the last 6 years), I would have considered myself a devout sapiosexual. My girlfriends and (ex) wife were very intelligent and multi-degreed. I was drawn to women with whom I could have intelligent discussions about virtually any subject -- philosophy, politics, art etc. Since I viewed myself as an intellectual, I was snobbish enough to believe that only another intellectual would understand me. What horsecrap that was. Unfortunately, intelligence could never make up the flaws in these relationships. I did not find happiness in intellect.

My SO ended her formal education after high school. Before she became a housewife, her jobs ranged from receptionist to administrative assistant. She has "street smarts" and common sense, but she in not an intellectual in any respect. I have never been happier. I discovered there are so many other qualities and characteristics that affected my happiness far more than intellect.

Attraction is certainly complex. To some extent, Gary is spot on . . . we need to believe that our mate is attractive to us. IMHO, it is always a combination of personality (the inner beauty) and physical beauty. But in my current list of qualities in a woman that make me happy, book smarts doesn't make the top 20.