[jilljames8184]

The "feeling so good" may be bringing back memories of past lovers that made her feel a particular way. I too am in my fifties and I was a total **** before .my marriage. My husband couldn't satisfy sexually and I still have a very over-active sex drive while hubby has a very under-active sex drive. Rather than cheating on him with hidden affairs or suffering a life of craving something I wasn't getting; hubby and I decided I needed a full time boyfriend for sex. Ii still make love to my husband when he wants to, about ounce a month, but I have sex with my boyfriend 5-6 times a week; with my husband's approval. Notice I made a difference between making love and having sex. I am emotionally attached to my husband and physically attached to my boyfriend. I have had about 12 boyfriends in the 18 years of marriage. You guys need to talk openly. Sounds like there's a lot more that is not being told.

[Silvervine]

Maybe she doesn't enjoy it as much as you think! I hate receiving oral. Not due to fear of exposure but because I just don't like the feeling. I'm currently dating a guy who insists that it's because I've had bad experiences but I actually haven't. But it's awkward when I'm just laying there thinking "this is boring" before I say stop. It has nothing to do about overworking the clit or him "not doing it right". I just don't like the feeling of a tongue and mouth down there. I don't get off on that. Strangely enough, he gets offended by this even though him giving me oral doesn't benefit him in any way.

Ladies and gentlemen think this is weird? All these years I thought that I was abnormal. It got to the point where I spoke to my GP, gynaecologist, and sex therapist to find out if there was something wrong. The best response was offered by the therapist: oral sex has become so normalised (and glamourised in porn) that it's assumed that oral is for everyone. It's not. Just like anal sex is not for everyone. Different sensations do different things to different people. You can't expect everyone will enjoy the same thing. Nobody should have to endure something or be pressured into doing something that they don't want to do or don't enjoy doing.

My advice? Don't bring it up with your wife and stop making it an issue. If you keep pushing her about the oral, she's going to go off sex and avoid sex because she automatically thinks (a) that oral is where it's going to go; and (b) you're going to start the oral debate all over again. I'm in the same situation with the guy I'm dating, only I've communicated quite clearly that I don't enjoy oral and he still insists. Your wife hasn't communicated much at all. I don't think she's cheating, it just sounds like she's avoiding sex with you because of this pressure over her head. So just tell your wife that oral is off the table if that's what she wants. It's not worse loosing your marriage over.

[Silvervine]

^ my apologies, I meant to say your girlfriend

[Baboy]

DonM,

I would give due consideration to what Silvervine has said. A thoughtful post from a woman's perspective. Not all women are into oral sex. We might think they should be, but that's not their view. We have to respect that.

What Silvervine has said about the effect of "pushing her about the oral" rings true. You might be well advised to ease off.

I recognize you have said that you gf enjoyed oral in the past. It might seem logical that she should enjoy it again. But it should be her choice. People's tastes change and it might be best for you to permit her to evolve without being pressured to revert to the way she was in another time.

[Lovcookie]

Hmm...I'm skeptical of her claims. When she said the oral sex "feels too good", it leads me to believe that perhaps you're paying TOO much attention to her clitoris. It's VERY sensitive, and too much pressure or friction can give you that strange "feels good but also very uncomfortable" feeling. Similar to what I believe men feel if the head of their penis is touched right after ejaculation. Totally speculating here and could be totally off base.

Sometimes if I'm in a relationship and having regular sex, I get sore, irritated, etc. Especially if it's long "marathon" sex. Is it possible she may just need some time to recoup between encounters? It sounds like she's trying hard not to reject you or make you feel bad in any way, but in her attempts to do so she's leaving you confused, understandably. I also think that sometimes in relationships sex has it's high periods and low periods. Women's hormones change over the years, and our libido's are very tied to them.

Years ago I had a GF that was not into oral. She would express like she was embarrassed about the odor. Thing is there was no bad odor. I think she was just extra sensitive with oral clit stimuli. The relationship did not last long enough to get to the bottom of it. I learned something though that each women you must treat and adjust accordingly.

[jns]

Yes I kinda agree she may be embarrassed to have me down there when she orgasm.

How often does she orgasm during sex? Is it during intercourse or during her masturbating herself or while you masturbate her? Is it possible she has been faking it?

[DonM77]

DonM,

I would give due consideration to what Silvervine has said. A thoughtful post from a woman's perspective. Not all women are into oral sex. We might think they should be, but that's not their view. We have to respect that.

What Silvervine has said about the effect of "pushing her about the oral" rings true. You might be well advised to ease off.

I recognize you have said that you gf enjoyed oral in the past. It might seem logical that she should enjoy it again. But it should be her choice. People's tastes change and it might be best for you to permit her to evolve without being pressured to revert to the way she was in another time.

No, I honestly don't believe she's not into oral. My gf made it perfectly clear it's embarrassing having me down there. She clearly enjoys it and pushes me away when she gets close to orgasming. I think it's very simple and clearly by her reaction that she enjoys it, but feels uncomfy when she is about to cum.

[DonM77]

How often does she orgasm during sex? Is it during intercourse or during her masturbating herself or while you masturbate her? Is it possible she has been faking it?

What gives you the idea she could be faking it?

Honestly I don't believe she has ever faked an orgasm with me. She can orgasm during masturbation by herself or whether I masturbate her. About a year ago I taught her to orgasm thru intercourse which was something she has never been able to achieve with any previous partner in the past.