[CHANDLERS WISH]

[QUOTE=effy2014;395486]Wow, the reverse sexism is rampant in this thread. A man is acting like a woman because he thought that sex with mzhk had some meaning? Is it that far fetched that sex should have meaning and that men . . . just like (some) women . . . might think there was more to it? Or, put another way, men can be used for sex because the stereotypic man should be emotionless and used to being promiscuous.

If a man were to post that some random girl he slept with was excessively clingy or became dramatic and needy after he used her for "heat of the moment" sex, he would be slammed for his behavior. My only advice is that the next time you wish to use a person for sex only, agree on the ground rules before hand. Contrary to the mainstream, men are human and actually have feelings.[/QUOTE]

However, if you purely wanted sex from him only then understand, men can be like women and get hurt.

Wait, that is what I said And, I totally agree.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Stonedhearted- how did u manage that situation? I didn't want it as a bootycalll. Just felt it was strange he wanted my address after 4 hrs of meeting me. Then wanted to meet my family . It rang fatal attraction.

NEVER give out your address after meeting someone after 4 hours.. And I can see why you felt it was a "fatal attraction".

I think that we are answering based on thoughts of men and women in general, people. How they can feel based on that one sentence you wrote, you just wanted sex.

But, asking where you live? No way... That's scary and I'm glad you didn't give it to him.

Then asking to meet your family after 4 hours of knowing him?

Ok this is a bit weird and different than your question at hand, clingy and sex...

I'd say this guy is up to something and would be best to never speak to again, he may even be slightly ill so to speak..

Would any of you guys ask her for her address? After 4 hours and meet the family? I don't think so.

Be careful whom you sleep with. The fact that you weren't at your address suggests you were either at his or at a Hotel. Both scares me, as you two were alone, no one around.. Off course we "hook up" if that is what we are after, but we need to make the message heard before hand, what ever that message is.

I think more talk before action to ascertain personality may be even in order.

I'm not trying to scare you but after reading this, I'd be freaked out to be honest. And glad I'm safe.

Any thoughts guys?

[effy2014]

If they don't get clingy, does it mean the sex was bad? Can sex still rock their world, but they just don't want to continue further?

To the first question, my answer would be no. The second, yes. Whether anyone wants a relationship or casual sex relates to many factors. Great sex is a plus, but certainly not sufficient. I also don't think you can rate a sexual encounter on the first time (as in the first question). It takes some time to learn what a partner needs or wants. A bad first encounter can lead to great sex after good communication.

[mzhk]

Chandlers wishes - neither to be honest. Met him in a restaurant in my town while I was going through my alone food therapy " food binge mode(I do this when im sad) while the gorgeous stranger approached for small talks. ". I said I was going for my walk next and he asks to come. We talked all the way to the beach. Down there things just happened. Aftrr it happened he demands to meet my family. Kept asking to know where I lived..

[atskitty2]

I guess I don't understand what happened here at all. It really makes little sense to me. If it was just sex, why did you exchange phone numbers at all? I wouldn't.
Why hang out on the beach afterward chatting about...anything, where he has opportunity to make such "demands"? Just leave if it was over, and especially if he's asking things that make you uncomfortable. I think, by asking you that stuff, he was trying to make you think he wasn't just wanting the sex, trying to make you think he wasn't a jerk, like he was really interested, and then when you demonstrated that you didn't have more in mind, it was all cool & he simply didn't have to pretend any more, and he ghosted. Then you seem to have persisted? saying he won't answer your msgs, in one of your earlier posts here? Makes no sense to me dear. Seems to me that you thought a little more of it than you want to admit to yourself.

Regardless, you've got some good advice here about safety & getting yourself checked repeatedly for STI's. Your safety is paramount, and even tho you remained in public, that's no guarantee that you'll be safe. Be careful out there.

[raindancer]

That's so strange. Stalker behavior, in a way. When you didn't give it to him, he was "hurt", or acting "hurt", by what you've said. That's a lot of drama from his part after 4 hours. And it doesn't matter if it's a man, or a woman. My opinion would be the same for either. After such a short thing, the maximum I'd have given would have been one of my least used email addresses, not even my phone number.

It could be he's just desperate for sex, you were uncomplicated about it (please, read below, before thinking I'm judging) and he wanted to make sure he'd get his fix of sex again.

About the "uncomplicated about it", I mean it as a compliment. As long as we're safe, I see no reason why we should make it complicate. The difficult part is being safe, of course.

[mzhk]

Thank you everyone! I know I was stupid but no no some tough love from you guys/gals I can handle. Its honesty. I feel so much better. I'll block the # and join a gym , avoid drama.

[Silvervine]

It would seem that the stereotyped roles for men and women have changed. In my late teens and early twenties men just wanted sex and women wanted a relationship. Now it seems to have reversed; we women enjoy the pleasure of NSA sex while men seem to want to "bond". Of course this pattern does not include everyone, there are always exceptions.

I would say that this is probably the most accurate explanation. I've recently been having relationship issues and this was the point that friends and family have made. It's not just with sex either. Its with everything! Even general behaviour. From the petty arguments we have (feels like I'm arguing with a stubborn teenage girl) to the need of 'bonding' after sex when I just want to leave or go to sleep. It's as if men are becoming more emotional than women. I'm not making any broad generalisations as I know there are genuine men out there, just as there are genuine women who want love and to settle down. but in most cases I hear of, it's men wanting more than the woman they are with and men becoming more emotional than women.

Never feel that you are obliged to date someone just because you've slept with them and now he wants to date you. If you wanted sex to just be sex, leave it at that. If you want to give him a chance, go for it. But don't feel like you must do it. TBH, asking to meet families at this point seems a little early anyway. I was dating my guy for 5 months and we still never met families. I was told that introducing families into the picture meant the next step in the relationship, from dating to full blown relationship. I didn't know this until everyone, including my work colleagues, said "why would you introduce a guy to your family if you're not even sure he's the one? You only do that if you're serious about the person!". Obviously there is no right and wrong, but maybe it's an indication that this guy wants sometching serious with you, and wants something serious as soon as possible. Just be careful.