[pleasentlypatient92]

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Okay, so.. Im new here, and with that said Im not sure whats all been covered before, so excuse me if Ive asked anything thats been discussed. Now, i really would appreciate some advise in the sex area of relationships. Not just regular sex, but where the women penetrates the man. some of you should know what Im saying.. Well what Im asking is how did this come about? what were your starts in this taboo experience? For me, i was about 13-14yrs old and remember washing in the shower and it felt good. then couple years passed and i started trying a finger, then it turned into whatever i could use around the house. So, now Im 22yrs old and Im having fantasies about it again because i threw it out there to my girlfriend and she agreed, even went for it, but now and recently shes completely shut off from even thinking about it. Myself on the other hand, cant stop thinking about it because before it was unintelligent for us to do such a thing with no planning or preparation. Ive tried to mention to her that if we can handle it with cleanliness then it could be a fun thing for both of us. Well no, that didnt work. so eventually i just left it alone and lived life right? Well, kind of. I still fantasize all the time and want her badly. She has no clue i honestly believe. but it doesnt stop there. Im into alot of weird stuff, i like chastity, sub/dom situations, thats really where the whole pegging thing comes into play. So, with us back to normal and going on about our day everythings cool right? nope, dead wrong. we broke up 2 weeks ago due to an unrelated issue. I hate that we split up but what will be, will be. So, now that we got all of that cleared up, since im no longer with this girl, and i still have the same desires, whats the first step in trying to get with a person with common interests? It took a long while to get comfortable with the first to bring this up. I know i want my fantasies, and theyres guys out there that have wifes/girlfriends, that do this sorta thing and enjoy it. i believe i read somewhere that the wife wanted to try it and the husband went along with it and had to get comfortable with his wife gaining from this. Now i know this isnt always the case but Id like to know how to "get the ball rolling" instead of waiting years down the road then being honest just to split a few months later with no ease of fantasies. Im single now, and i really want my next relationship to be one i can be comfortable with and if it feels good theres no problem with the backdoor entrance. Basically, what Id like to know is this, 1. how can i ease my next girl into this without running her away or waiting 3yrs to say somthing? 2. how many of you out there enjoy this type of activity in the bedroom, whats your opinion for the women? and the men? Ive been kind of puzzled about this topic for a while and never knew where to ask till i found this site. thanks to everybody who reads, sorry if I seemed vulgure in anyway. hope to hear from anybody soon! thanks for any replies!

[Elizabeth1031]

I'm fine w kinky but I guess the turn off for me is that I like to be submissive and like really dominant men, so dominating a man like that is a turn off for me.. But there are plenty of women who like to dominate.. I think youd be able to see that a little bit in their behavior beforehand? Look for those women as aposed to submissive women..

[pleasentlypatient92]

okay thanks for the advise. Im not so much wanting a dominate girlfriend per say. I enjoy being the man, going to work, providing like anyother man should. Sometimes in bed its relaxing to lay there and not do any of the work in a sense. Theres many men that appeal to receiving from theyre wifes, that doesnt mean that they want to live everyday being submissive. I tried explaining it to my ex, theres alot more nerves being stimulated, and if you look at it in a medical way, with the male prostate location, and the nerves being more sensitive we tend to experience a more intense fulfilling orgasm opposed to the traditional way of achieving "glory". I really do wish i never experienced a prostate orgasm to be honest, part of me feels ashamed or cursed because ill always think about it, but then again if i were to meet the right person i could be myself and have my wants. Sadly most women assume were gay or wrong. The fact that women themselves, judge guys who enjoy it is why we cant rid the world of sexism. there isnt a boundary to the opposite sex exactly, but a border in our minds thats been preserved for decades. 50yrs ago gays were never "out", now theyre marching in parades. Im not saying that i agree with parades but if we can stop the stereotypes with races/genders we could accomplish alot. i dont think theres anything "wrong" with me or men like me, different yes, but only because the status quo tells us that. sorry for the rant lol.

[raindancer]

You shouldn't feel bad for experiencing something good!

It's very difficult to find people who are in the same wavelength sexually as us. The difficulty comes from the fact we're afraid to be judged by our sexual preferences. If that is important to you (it is important to me), you should brave it and talk about it with the women with whom you want to become closer. You risk they finding you a weirdo, or gay, or something, but isn't it better to risk that than to be locked into a relationship with a woman who isn't in sync with you, sexually speaking?

I'd like to respectfully disagree with two things I've read on this thread. First, dominant women in life don't necessarily want to be dominant in the bedroom. I'm an alpha-woman. I work, pay my bills, take all the decisions concerning my own life. I've never needed a man for anything, but love. Well, in the bedroom, I prefer a dominant man. Someone who'd take over, so that I could take a rest from being the head of everything all the time.

Second, you say about things a man "should" do. I disagree. Men "shouldn't" do anything, just like women "shouldn't" do anything. We live our lives as we decide to. It's much better than assuming roles society thinks we should endorse.

Good luck in finding that woman who'll have a great time exploring sexuality with you.

[pleasentlypatient92]

I applaud all of the support all of you have shown, It makes me feel more secure that what i seem to enjoy isnt something thats morally or ethically wrong. I must say that if i were to find that women who would embrace my desires Id truly be happy with myself after years of confusion with who i am, what my "label" would be. But how do I announce my desire to a women i meet without seeming like a freak? I still dont know how Id be able to get any women of any background to understand or participate in an act that society deems "not heterosexual". My point is I enjoy a few unorthodox ways of love making. Most women want a man to feel secure and protected next too. When your honest about a topic such as this it complicates things between the couple. I understand i should follow what makes me happy, but in doing so i run a risk of pushing away a person who doesnt quiet understand my desires. From a medical standpoint its understandable on how a man would be aroused with such a request. I, myself see it as odd but cant describe the intensity of pleasure that is derived from something thats simple to understand if you take a second and weigh the variables on how it could be an act of enjoyment. There are plenty of men who secretly enjoy the same things, and it should be understood upon instead of frowned upon. I enjoy intercourse the traditional way aswell, but if you go your entire life gaining fulfillment only one way, then you descover a new different way that is more intense and arousing youd be a liar if you didnt enjoy it. Id never say Id be bored of traditional ways of sex but I tend to have a want for the alternative. I know in order to make a women happy you have to please them the way they expect, so if i can preform for her to satisfy her would it be too much to ask for the same in return? I believe if a women were to take a leap and participate in the act it could open up ways she never knew of. A stronger sense of power, more confidence, instead of being beneath a man she could level the playing field metaphorically in the relationship. I, myself would love to be forced by a confident women and have a balance of wills to please one another. With this comes a new found trust aswell. my ex having participated once before owned my masculinity from there on out. since i trusted her with having the ability to hold it over my head if she chose too, it turned into more trust between us. more respect aswell, not out of fear but out of knowing more of eachother that wasnt known before. If I had a choice I wouldnt have told her because maybe physiologically her view point of me wouldnt have changed, but i gained confidence with her short acceptance of it and realize Im not wrong, but maybe chose an uncomfortable approach to addressing my desires to a traditional women that didnt accept it after the deed was done. Thats my only regret with this whole journey, as far as gaining security and identifying what Ive been enjoying and loathing, Id say it was worth the troubles to know myself better.

[effy2014]

It really isn't that kinky. There was an excellent discussion of pegging a few months ago in which one of our core group of members (a man) proclaimed that he would never participate in such an endeavor, only to be seduced into trying it with his wonderful GF. You can search for pegging and find the thread.

Unless you want to find a woman who does this and hope that a relationship will develop, there is no certainty that you will find someone you love who will also be sexually experimental. Before we got together, my SO would never have even considered it. A suburban housewife who had a very vanilla sex life. However, as we fell in love and began on our sexual journey, she was eager to experiment with lots of things. She enjoyed receiving anal play and wanted to reciprocate . . . a strap-on was just one of the tools in the tool box. She is generally submissive (in and out of the bedroom) but enjoys role playing every now and then.

It is not emasculating. It does not make a man a homosexual or even suggest that he might be bisexual. I am neither. But it does take trust. Good luck in your search.

[pleasentlypatient92]

I understand where your coming from.. Ive been talking to a women recently that shares my interests, im kind of intrigued on how it may turn out. She is looking for a real relationship and so am I. Granted yes, what brought us into conversation was our similar interests but whos to say it couldnt yield a decent relationship? Shes more inclined as a dominate and Id say i lean more toward a submissive. Either way it works out Im interested in our conversation, Ive always wanted a women that had an interest in common. Hope it works out, itd be great to have that dream dom Ive always wanted lol.

[cathygirl]

I occasionally insert a finger and massage my husband's prostate while performing oral sex. It is the one thing that pushes him over the top faster than anything, and he likes it. I only started doing this after he did exactly the same thing for me (except I don't have a prostate! ;-) ). Neither of us have thought of it as domination. Now, I don't think I'd be interested in using a strap-on or anything that far down the path, but this is just another nice thing I can do that he likes, so why not?

[effy2014]

Ive been talking to a women recently that shares my interests, im kind of intrigued on how it may turn out. She is looking for a real relationship and so am I. Granted yes, what brought us into conversation was our similar interests but whos to say it couldnt yield a decent relationship?.

No one "can say" that it won't turn into a real relationship, but men are often blinded by sexual gratification not to notice a lot of the warning signs of a horrible relationship. You are more submissive in the bedroom but not in the real world. What happens then? Take your time and get the sexual satisfaction you seek with eyes wide open.

Good luck.

[pleasentlypatient92]

well I for one dont get "blinded" as easy as most. In my entire sexual life Ive only been with 3 women. I take pride in knowing a person fully before engaging in anything sexual, even a kiss. I see it as you must know a person before you give yourself to them. A person who instead is easy to "go to bed" with isnt somebody id ever be interested in meeting. As far as being aware of warning signs, Ill know any when they arise. Im curious of a women thatd be in control maybe if it were outside the bedroom aswell but that idea seems taboo even to me. Im open minded obviously, and aslong as she doesnt suggest cuckolding, i think itll be worth a try. I dont see how anybody would be into cuckolding anyway, im all for any humiliation but thats terrible. Ive been considering just how long Id have to wait till my interests are a reality.. Id like to bring it up with girls that im involved with but the risk just seems so overwhelming and Id hate for a replay of what happened before. I get that the reward is far greater than the risk but to have women know my deepest secret and able to tell whoever they want is paralyzing. Anybody care to share how this came to light in your relationships? Id like ideas on how to casually bring it up without laying it all out then letting them digest it and be freaked out..