[Magnetism]

I'm curious, is there any documentation to support this? This comment interestingly came from a friend that was promiscuous, but is now abstaining. Her reason for celibacy is that she's sick of men using her and throwing her away. When I asked her what she meant by "unhealthy", she said to google up all of the research articles on how sex promotes mental and physical health. I don't disagree with that, but obviously the sex has to be in the right context (IMO). Having sex in the wrong context can negatively impact your emotional/physical health too.

"Too long" is subjective. I think a year is a reasonable amount of time to recover from a former partner, and not jump into a sexual situation. If someone told me that they went seven years without any sex, I would only think that's "too long"....because I have never been in that situation. If they had valid reasons (no interest, waiting for the right partner, etc), I wouldn't judge them. My friend's response to the, "I wouldn't judge people for going too long," was "It's not judgment. It's self-care to have sex." I said I got her point and support her with going celibate

What do you think? I know there are other posters on here that have gone without sex for awhile, and they seem pretty put together. If you can't concentrate or function, due to a lack of sex, then there's a problem.

Does anyone know of people that have lost it or become unhealthy, due to a lack of sex?

.

[atskitty2]

Well, Mags, I have to admit I giggled (out loud) at your post.

I think you know I'm 3 yrs out from a separation/divorce, and had a sexless marriage a full year prior to that, and it had deteriorated greatly in the months/years before that, even. So, it's literally been many years since I had the fulfilling sex life that I need & want. I'm still breathing & I'm very healthy physically & mentally.
I miss sex, I don't deny that & I long for the sexual part of intimacy. But intimacy is what I'm motivated by most-sex is a demonstration of that feeling & "place" you arrive in a relationship. I've not found a man "worthy" of that since my marriage ended, and by that, I simply mean that no man has demonstrated the qualities that would bring me to that "place" of trust & intimacy.

There are tons of studies on the health benefits of sex. I think it's two-fold in the biological aspect (sex releases healthy hormones) and in the mental/emotional benefits of having that bond with another person. Some feel that bond after a night. Others, like me, take a bit more time. There are factors of lust & many others that come into play.

I know a girl who's a 40 yr old virgin. I know a man who, I believe is a 40 yr old virgin. They're healthy, very successful individuals, highly motivated & attractive even. For the woman, it's religious reasons-she believes sex is reserved for marriage. The guy is just a good-looking nerd who has no social inclination whatsoever.
I know a woman who's been celibate for probably 20 yrs since being widowed at age 38. She's healthy, highly functioning.

So, no, I've never known anyone to "lose it" from lack of sex. Didn't seem to have any detriment to their cognitive function, or ability to socialize properly or anything else.
Sex is healthy, no doubt about it. And yeah, tho' maybe I sometimes FEEL I may lose it if I don't get the real thing soon, I'm not so caught up in the "feelings", to dismiss the reality that, I'm fine without it too. I have a successful career, I've got a home & doggie family, and an active life when I'm not working.

Everyone is different. My best girlfriend hasn't for quite a few years either, and she doesn't miss it at all, and she's healthy too.

[Magnetism]

I'm glad I made you giggle!

Thanks for sharing. I have read that the more you abstain from sex, the easier it is to control it. It's like going on a diet and avoiding junk food. It's hard at first, but your body gets used to it.

[DreamP346]

There's a difference between sex promoting better health and lack of it being unhealthy. Kale is really good for your health, but you won't be unhealthy if you don't eat it. Also don't forget about masturbation.

[Magnetism]

There's a difference between sex promoting better health and lack of it being unhealthy. Kale is really good for your health, but you won't be unhealthy if you don't eat it. Also don't forget about masturbation.

That's what I say. I would rather masturbate than waste time finding a guy that can't find the clit.

[Motorguy]

I can't believe there really guys out there who can not find a women clitoris. That just boggle the mind to no end. I am thinking they know, but really don't care if the women there with achieve a orgasm or not it's all about there pleasure and that's it. This just my opinion from other women, I have chatted with over the years. But I must say Mag I agree with your post very good point indeed.

[effy2014]

Not wanting to hijack Mags thread and make it about the clitoris, but there is an artist, Sophia Wallace, that has used her art to inform men about the clitoris. It's called, appropriately enough, the "Clitoracy Project", complete with her 100 Laws of Clitoracy. If you are intrigued, she is mainly on Tumblr.

I can't imagine the issue is not being able to find it (it's not rocket science) as much as it is not knowing how to love the clitoris once you are there. Pleasure sensations are different for each woman and what someone finds orgasmic another may feel only pain. Too many men probably give up or get frustrated (the numerous posts from men who write "but I have made every other woman cum but her ....") instead of listening and communicating.

As for the topic at hand, IMHO, the health benefits come from sex within the context of a healthy relationship. If your relationship has deteriorated to the point where it makes you cringe if your partner touches you (how my SO describes the last 5 years of her marriage), I can't imagine how sex would be appealing. As Kitty wrote, it's not just the release that makes sex appealing, but the intimacy and connection. Without it, masterbation is a much better option.

[Magnetism]

I can't believe there really guys out there who can not find a women clitoris. That just boggle the mind to no end. I am thinking they know, but really don't care if the women there with achieve a orgasm or not it's all about there pleasure and that's it. This just my opinion from other women, I have chatted with over the years. But I must say Mag I agree with your post very good point indeed.

Motorguy-I'm tricky. A guy may be able to find it, but his touch won't feel right.The guys that know how to properly stimulate the clitoris are the ones that I have an intense attraction/bond with already. I do also need a lot of time, before I want it touched. I don't like it when someone goes straight to it.


CW-I agree. When I break things off with someone, I need a LOT of time to re-group my thoughts, mourn and be ready for the next partner. If I'm not over someone, that's unfair to the new person.

[Magnetism]

Not wanting to hijack Mags thread and make it about the clitoris, but there is an artist, Sophia Wallace, that has used her art to inform men about the clitoris. It's called, appropriately enough, the "Clitoracy Project", complete with her 100 Laws of Clitoracy. If you are intrigued, she is mainly on Tumblr.

I can't imagine the issue is not being able to find it (it's not rocket science) as much as it is not knowing how to love the clitoris once you are there. Pleasure sensations are different for each woman and what someone finds orgasmic another may feel only pain. Too many men probably give up or get frustrated (the numerous posts from men who write "but I have made every other woman cum but her ....") instead of listening and communicating.

As for the topic at hand, IMHO, the health benefits come from sex within the context of a healthy relationship. If your relationship has deteriorated to the point where it makes you cringe if your partner touches you (how my SO describes the last 5 years of her marriage), I can't imagine how sex would be appealing. As Kitty wrote, it's not just the release that makes sex appealing, but the intimacy and connection. Without it, masterbation is a much better option.

Yeah, my thoughts were that sex can be unhealthy in some situations. If you're sleeping around and feel used/thrown away, I would worry about that being unhealthy. If you have casual sex and get devastated that things didn't work out, that would be unhealthy. If you're in an emotionally strong place and can see casual sex for what it is (just fun and nothing else), then it could be healthy for you.

[effy2014]

Motorguy-I'm tricky. A guy may be able to find it, but his touch won't feel right.The guys that know how to properly stimulate the clitoris are the ones that I have an intense attraction/bond with already. I do also need a lot of time, before I want it touched. I don't like it when someone goes straight to it.

You are not that tricky and most women do not enjoy a frontal assault. That is just bad technique, usually from a man who just wants to get the foreplay over with as soon as possible. Cunilingus is best done slowly, with love and affection, savoring the taste and scent.