[Texasred45]

I am going to make an appointment for her to see a doctor. I can't go on like this. It's torture.

Maybe also make an appointment for yourself with a career counselor, find out why you can't find a job.

[RanchGirl]

Ditto on revisiting what life was like back when you were first together and really into each other. Have you asked her how she feels about her sexuality? Is she happy with the status quo? Is she bored with your lovemaking? Have a frank discussion with her, with respect. I know I sort of have an issue with intimacy and feeling uncomfortable being the recipient of pleasure - might she have such issues? Was there abuse in her past? Was there a time when both of you couldn't get enough and then it changed?

As I mentioned in another post, my sex drive has always been low (and I'd been on the pill my whole life...maybe that was it!), but the times in my life when I got lusty were when a new man wanted me, desired me. Well, when you're married for years, you don't get that excitement - sorry, but those hormones just don't get cranked out any more. Men have it so much easier, just seeing something that turns them on and bingo, erection!

My husband expressed to me during lovemaking that he's excited at the idea of me with another man. At first I was appalled at the idea, but he continued sharing that fantasy during our lovemaking and eventually I began to allow it to become my fantasy. We have subsequently joined some swinging websites, and though we have yet to do anything with anyone else, it has added a new element to our love life that I find exciting. It beats having affairs and ruining our marriage through secrets and discontent. We actually met a couple that is in the lifestyle and they are very much in love with each other. Her husband had cheated on her in the past, and they prevailed - now they openly engage in the lifestyle together, and each gets to have their cake and eat it, too. There has to be a lot of communication and agreement on limits, but it seems to work for some couples who don't want to change their marital status but need something different/more. At the very least it opens the door to becoming more adventurous with each other.

I am NOT saying that you should do this. I realize your religion doesn't necessarily allow for it. It's funny, though: on the websites we've been on, there are a lot of Christian couples!

[kdc]

. . Well, when you're married for years, you don't get that excitement - sorry, but those hormones just don't get cranked out any more. . . .

Thankfully, this is not the case for all of us old-timers. ;-)

[jimmymaxewell]

There are many major issues to have low sexual desire. Especially in women, Lack of sexual desire or does not like sex can be contributed by many factors such as hormonal imbalance, medical problems, fear of sex, aging and extreme stress. Don’t worry, treatment is possible, but you need to approach a professional counselor.