[grangirlg247]

Hi! So I am 20 and weigh about 290 pounds. I had a boyfriend for about three years and though we never tried really hard to give me an orgasm, I can honestly say that I have never had an orgasm. Does being overweight have anything to do with not being able to orgasm? I even have a vibrator I have tried to use and it feels good, but never that peak that I have heard so much about. Does anyone know?? I realize some of you will think 20 is still young, but I just have such a hard time accepting the fact that I have never had one because I had a boyfriend for three years and we were sexually active. Any advice?? Please??

[C]

I believe that being overweight has a lot to do with your orgasm. First you have got to feel good about yourself. I know for a fact all the problems of being overweight. Been there and done that. How can you give your boyfriend all that you have and yet be naked to boot when you are embarrassed with your body. You may say you aren't but again I have lived in your house. I don't know your height but take it off. I would think a vibrator would be harder to use with as heavy as you are. I have found that when I was my heaviest just using my hands was a problem as I had a hard time fitting them around my stomach to get to my clit. Then to try and lift my leg up in the air and really get it off was near impossible.

The best advice I can give you both as a woman and being in the place where you are is get it off. Don't waste your life. You will find a new woman living in your body that you don't know. She will scare the devil out of you.......But you will love it....

I am sorry but you did not deserve a lecture. Please consider what I just said to you given only out of love for my fellow man or woman. I wasted far too many years. Don't do what I did....Find yourself.

Now about the orgasm. I could orgasm but really only from oral sex. Until you brought this thread up I had never really thought of our sex life that much. I am sure when I was good and hot that when he fingered me that I did too but eating me was the best. As far as orgasm's during penetration that takes time. I think sometimes years to really get it down. Two people have to learn to talk to each other and really be truthful and for a woman this is hard. So many positions to try to find the right one and again being heavy is a problem for you and it will make a difference. I wish I could say different but I can't.

Being self conscious could be holding you back....

[MovingForward]

Hi! So I am 20 and weigh about 290 pounds. I had a boyfriend for about three years and though we never tried really hard to give me an orgasm, I can honestly say that I have never had an orgasm. Does being overweight have anything to do with not being able to orgasm? I even have a vibrator I have tried to use and it feels good, but never that peak that I have heard so much about. Does anyone know?? I realize some of you will think 20 is still young, but I just have such a hard time accepting the fact that I have never had one because I had a boyfriend for three years and we were sexually active. Any advice?? Please??

I am 5'9 and 354 pounds so I feel your pain. I have only achieved orgasm when I pleasure myself; never with a man. I think that body issues has a lot to do with not being able to achieve orgasm through a man. I am constantly thinking, "I wonder if he sees that roll" or " I wonder if I am going to sweat too much and start to smell." You have to have some sort of body confidence, and tell yourself he is with me so he must love my body. I found that looking into a full length mirror naked helps a lot. You learn to become more comfortable about yourself. Also try stretching at least three times per week this may help you reach orgasm. The more limber you are the better positions you can get into. I hope that you understood what I was trying to say it made perfect sense in my head, lol. If there is anything else I can help with please feel free to ask. Hope this helps!

[metboogie]

A large % of women cannot achieve orgasm. That's not to say it's impossible, but you should try a few things:

1 - Definitely work on your diet and exercise - doctors will tell you your diet directly contributes to your libido, and exercise will help your blood flow (very important for clitoral stimulation) and stamina.

2 - Try Kiegel exercises - they will strengthen your vaginal walls and allow you to control the pleasure more.

[soldatka]

I'm a woman of very fluctuating weight, and one thing I know is it took a little more work at the times I was heavier. I don't think it was a confidence thing, because I never felt more or less confident because of my weight. I think it was just a matter of nerve endings and manoeverability. How about a spot of yoga? Works wonders for your flexibility, you don't have to work up a sweat, and it can be done at any size. Good luck gal!

[C]

I'm a woman of very fluctuating weight, and one thing I know is it took a little more work at the times I was heavier. I don't think it was a confidence thing, because I never felt more or less confident because of my weight. I think it was just a matter of nerve endings and manoeverability. How about a spot of yoga? Works wonders for your flexibility, you don't have to work up a sweat, and it can be done at any size. Good luck gal!

Seeing the poster is 290 pounds and does not state her height, it sure could be a confidence thing at least in my humble opinion......I don't know how much extra weight you carried but you sure feel a lot better in bed and walking into a store with the baggage gone....When you go from a size 24 to a size 14-16 your confidence screams, come and get me baby....

I know the hell that these women live in and the hell it will take for them to get out of it.....Only after having walked their shoes and lived their pain can I speak of it......TC, C

[SinisterUrge]

My wife and I are both overweight and IMHO it has not been a barrier to either of us.

My wife will orgasm anytime during oral sex, but she has never from intercourse. I have read that this is a common predicament.

I myself have only ever had 1 truly world-shattering, ground trembling, brain melting orgasm and it wasn't from oral or intercourse but the unexpected result of some extended fetish playing, sadly we haven't been able to reproduce the result

Now we both climax regularly through oral and intercourse, but the true orgasm is rare. If you don't know if you've ever orgasmed you haven't. An orgasm vs. a climax is winning the lottery versus finding $.25 in the soda machine return slot: both are free money but the feeling is just a little bit better for one of them.

[ladyface]

i think you need to make sure you are comfortable in your own skin. i'm overweight, my bf is overweight. he is the first guy i've ever been with. i'm 23 yrs old...i never had self confidence at a high standard until he made me feel so comfortable my first time. we have some positions we can't do bc of the weight issue, and yes akward moments have happened but we laugh them off and move on to something we know works. we try slight differences and see if they work. just experiment.
oral is awesome i get off that way the most. also, if you do doggie style and have him between your legs leaning down on your back...this will hit a really good spot and it is more intimate because he is close to you even though you can't see his face.
you have to love your body and believe what your man says. if he wants to love your body and kiss all over your body, then let him!

basically, just slightly adjust the positions you use.it might help

thanks for reading my 2 cents

[Kittie0251]

My fiance and I are both overweight and at the beginning of our relationship I had a difficult time having an orgasm but now it is a regular thing for both of us. Im comfortable in my body and comfortable enough to tell him what i want and what feels good. I can orgasm easily from oral but intercourse is alittle harder...i found using a small vibrator on my clit and being on top works wonders! lol

[Hystorm]

I was thinking as far as penetration sex, its possbile he simply cannot reach your clitorus with him pubic bone, or anything else. There is always the G-Spot. In fact, you may want to try for that more than anything as it sounds like he would not be able to fully penetrate you to his hilt and therefore would prob just make it to your G.

This is all theoretical.

Good luck.