[CHANDLERS WISH]

about to go hang out with him and not have sex! wish me luck!

I sent a few across, hope it got to you in time from here to there? lol

CW

[ciscopup]

I had to respond to this thread because I am in the same situation. I have been in a friends with benefits situation for about 15 months. He and I have been friends for about 11 years so we were pretty close prior to starting a physical relationship. The mistake that we made was not setting some ground rules before sleeping together. A few months into our 'benefits' I started having real feelings for him. At that time we sat down and discussed exactly what we wanted from each other. We are both single parents and work consumes a big portion of our lives so a 'real' relationship isn't right for either of us right now. Our biggest rule is no kissing on the lips....believe it or not it does help keep the situation less intimate. Secondly, we both agree that our friendship comes before anything else....if I am upset that he can't come to see me or he is upset that I didn't call or whatever, we agree that we discuss those things as friends and work it out. We are both very open about what we want from each other when we are together, leave the guess work out of it. I send him a little naughty email during the day at work and explain to him exactly what I want him to do to me once we are together. It helps both of us keep things in perspective. In my situation, he and I both agree that once our lives allow it, we plan on being together and trying to make things work but it just isn't the right time. I guess my point is communication is the key. Good luck!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I had to respond to this thread because I am in the same situation. I have been in a friends with benefits situation for about 15 months. He and I have been friends for about 11 years so we were pretty close prior to starting a physical relationship. The mistake that we made was not setting some ground rules before sleeping together. A few months into our 'benefits' I started having real feelings for him. At that time we sat down and discussed exactly what we wanted from each other. We are both single parents and work consumes a big portion of our lives so a 'real' relationship isn't right for either of us right now. Our biggest rule is no kissing on the lips....believe it or not it does help keep the situation less intimate. Secondly, we both agree that our friendship comes before anything else....if I am upset that he can't come to see me or he is upset that I didn't call or whatever, we agree that we discuss those things as friends and work it out. We are both very open about what we want from each other when we are together, leave the guess work out of it. I send him a little naughty email during the day at work and explain to him exactly what I want him to do to me once we are together. It helps both of us keep things in perspective. In my situation, he and I both agree that once our lives allow it, we plan on being together and trying to make things work but it just isn't the right time. I guess my point is communication is the key. Good luck!

Well i am the first to believe that "kissing" is the most passionate thing where falling goes and communication is the key, absolutely.

You two probably have the most amazing "lust" for each other, as a result of the way you are handling your relationship, and it is interesting that in retrospect of this threader, you both want to take it further when time prevails, where as she doesn't want to lose the friendship which she fears will happen.

I think you are already in a form of relationship on a different level and i hope it is one of those fairy tales with the "happy ever after" endings... I LOVE sending naughty messages, it keeps things very alive!!!!

And, i doubt i would live with my man, to keep the lust going for ever, as i don't want to fall into that pattern of cook, clean, cook, clean oh, yes sorry sex, cook, clean

Keep lust alive for ever i say!!!!

Good for you.

CW

[ciscopup]

I was scared to death that our friendship would be hurt by our physical relationship. We have had some problems but we have worked through them. The key is that the friendship always comes first....ALWAYS! We have had to take a few days of no physical connection to discuss problems and get them resolved. But that is the best part....we resolve problems in our friendship and then resume the benefits.

[Dollface2008]

wow jelous of you there! ha me and my benifit...or no longer benifit had an awkward time the other day....we started talking about school and work and friends in comman and then he started to come on to me and LET ME TELL YOU it was SUPER hard to say no especially when were sitting on a couch (our favorite place to do it...at his house) and he was rubbing my leg and givin me the eye while i was trying to explain to him why we cant hook up anymore and he stopped with an extreamly disapointed face. however needless today he texted me yesturday trying to meet up again I think our friendship is going to be harder to mantain then I had thought, because he doesnt believe me when i say i dont want it....when i do, but dont want to. ohh how frustrating. lucky you you can keep both!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

wow jelous of you there! ha me and my benifit...or no longer benifit had an awkward time the other day....we started talking about school and work and friends in comman and then he started to come on to me and LET ME TELL YOU it was SUPER hard to say no especially when were sitting on a couch (our favorite place to do it...at his house) and he was rubbing my leg and givin me the eye while i was trying to explain to him why we cant hook up anymore and he stopped with an extreamly disapointed face. however needless today he texted me yesturday trying to meet up again I think our friendship is going to be harder to mantain then I had thought, because he doesnt believe me when i say i dont want it....when i do, but dont want to. ohh how frustrating. lucky you you can keep both!

That's because he knows that you did, do, lol...

But, he'll get over it and you'll be great mates again, on the other side of the coin, you may end up together as a relationship, as i said somewhere way at the beginning???? I think.....

CW

[Dollface2008]

yeah i was thinking that too because ever since ive known him which will be going on 4 years now he has never had a girl friend and ive had 2 boyfriends in that amount of time, but i also know im his only friend thats a girl that he really talks to and calls up to hang out with alot so idnt knowww maybe im the girl to make him the boyfriend type? but can the non boyfriend type be made the boyfriend type? (another thred poss haha)

[CHANDLERS WISH]

yeah i was thinking that too because ever since ive known him which will be going on 4 years now he has never had a girl friend and ive had 2 boyfriends in that amount of time, but i also know im his only friend thats a girl that he really talks to and calls up to hang out with alot so idnt knowww maybe im the girl to make him the boyfriend type? but can the non boyfriend type be made the boyfriend type? (another thred poss haha)

Ha ha, yep another thread, and i won't answer....lol.. promise....

I think anything in life is possible but like always, it "takes 2"..

Like attracts like. It's a difficult one Dollface because the like attraction can be just best friends for life, or it can also turn into something later as a result of lots of things, age, time, lots.

See what other's say regarding the new thread...

One thing for sure, you both have "time" on your side.....

CW