[katty1]

In all our years of marriage, my husband has never used more than one finger on me during foreplay...This way he has kept me tight...Stimulated me until I cried for entry and even after three children, I am as tucked as before we were married....A woman can get too stretched out and this can hinder orgasm's.....

Caroline - im not quite sure i understand your comment "this way he has kept me tight " ? do you mean the muscles of the vagina ? OK im 40 in a few weeks never been married, had any kids ect but of course not a virgin dating since age 15 , dated men aged from 25 up to 61 recent sexual partner aged 28. I wouldnt say i had a lot of sexual experience or that i was promiscuous but just going by some of the things the guys ive dated have told me (quite a few have been divorced) and im in no way trying to cause offence please dont take it as such you say that you are "as tucked as before you were married" agin im confused to you mean your vagina has not stretched as you say you have had three children . Have you had vaginal deliveries if its ok to ask . The reason i say this it seems to me that every man i date seems to be obsessed by the fact i havent had children as they say my vagina is vastly different to a woman that has given birth . I personally find this obsession that guys have eithier just trying to date me/have sex with me for the so called tightness of my vaginal muscles offensive . Ive only been in love once, a French guy a couple of years back he was 46 (abouts) and he seemed to constantly go on about this tightness thing apparently it was the topic of discussion with his workmates he had one child with his last partner and apparently he dint want to have sex after the birth because he said he said it was "too big"" This isnt a subject i could discuss with any of my married friends i just feel like they wouldtake offence so again please dont take offence i just dont understand when you say hes kept me tight ...but then say you have had three kids ...is that possible.
I know from vaginal examinations drs say im extreamly tight but what is the definition of "tight" the french guy has said on many occasions dont have kids take it from me it ruins your body ...im a UK dress size 8 have 34 b bust and weigh 8 stone 7 lb i personally carnt see how my body could change that much or could it ? regarding the fingering issue and the 2 to 3 fingers thing if you have a good relationship with your partner and it seems dollface does could you not just say nicely that its too intense or it hurts a bit ? i know if it was 2 to 3 fingers with me and hard , id be in agony id say gentle on the outside bit for not very long

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Caroline - im not quite sure i understand your comment "this way he has kept me tight " ? do you mean the muscles of the vagina ? OK im 40 in a few weeks never been married, had any kids ect but of course not a virgin dating since age 15 , dated men aged from 25 up to 61 recent sexual partner aged 28. I wouldnt say i had a lot of sexual experience or that i was promiscuous but just going by some of the things the guys ive dated have told me (quite a few have been divorced) and im in no way trying to cause offence please dont take it as such you say that you are "as tucked as before you were married" agin im confused to you mean your vagina has not stretched as you say you have had three children . Have you had vaginal deliveries if its ok to ask . The reason i say this it seems to me that every man i date seems to be obsessed by the fact i havent had children as they say my vagina is vastly different to a woman that has given birth . I personally find this obsession that guys have eithier just trying to date me/have sex with me for the so called tightness of my vaginal muscles offensive . Ive only been in love once, a French guy a couple of years back he was 46 (abouts) and he seemed to constantly go on about this tightness thing apparently it was the topic of discussion with his workmates he had one child with his last partner and apparently he dint want to have sex after the birth because he said he said it was "too big"" This isnt a subject i could discuss with any of my married friends i just feel like they wouldtake offence so again please dont take offence i just dont understand when you say hes kept me tight ...but then say you have had three kids ...is that possible.
I know from vaginal examinations drs say im extreamly tight but what is the definition of "tight" the french guy has said on many occasions dont have kids take it from me it ruins your body ...im a UK dress size 8 have 34 b bust and weigh 8 stone 7 lb i personally carnt see how my body could change that much or could it ? regarding the fingering issue and the 2 to 3 fingers thing if you have a good relationship with your partner and it seems dollface does could you not just say nicely that its too intense or it hurts a bit ? i know if it was 2 to 3 fingers with me and hard , id be in agony id say gentle on the outside bit for not very long

That's interesting only in your comment about tightness. I tried to explain this to my man whom lives in England, we've been conversing for 6 months by the time we "do it' but we "do it" but anyway he said the same thing, do you mean your muscles? I just coped out to be honest.

I am also non child bearing and i recall in each of my relationships, i am like a virgin first of, tight, "wet" but tight until he penetrated including my ex-husband, so i don't know that answer, as i haven't had children but i do know that i am "tight" as i said, wet sure and open ready, go, but inital few seconds well like a virgin.... very tight...

Interesting on the comments forclosed from those comments, thanks i actually didn't know how to explain that, i just said, well ... and he thought immediately i didn't get wet well not the case at all.....

CW

[katty1]

That's interesting only in your comment about tightness. I tried to explain this to my man whom lives in England, we've been conversing for 6 months by the time we "do it' but we "do it" but anyway he said the same thing, do you mean your muscles? I just coped out to be honest.

I am also non child bearing and i recall in each of my relationships, i am like a virgin first of, tight, "wet" but tight until he penetrated including my ex-husband, so i don't know that answer, as i haven't had children but i do know that i am "tight" as i said, wet sure and open ready, go, but inital few seconds well like a virgin.... very tight...

Interesting on the comments forclosed from those comments, thanks i actually didn't know how to explain that, i just said, well ... and he thought immediately i didn't get wet well not the case at all.....

CW

Hi CHANDLERS WISH - thanks for your reply and thanks also for all your interesting, informative and entertaining and enlightening posts.

I apologise for changeing tack a little from the origional "over fingering" post but again only because of my confusion over the meaning of "kept me tight" and tucked and wondering what Caroline meant by tucked ? Caroline commented "a woman can get too stretched out thus hindering orgasm" , i was trying to work out what part of the vagina was Caroline referring to can be stretched ? assuming it is the clitoral area that is getting stimulated with one or indeeed more fingers does this mean that this skin stretches with manipulation either gentle or hard ? or would Caroline be referring to finger/finger (s) actually inside the vagina . Thinking about this ...i may be wrong ...insertion of the afore mentioned during lovemaking when your partner shouldnt be causing you any pain or discomfort with the act of insertion unless he was pulling or forcing fingers in pulling the sides of the vagina if you grasp my meaning i carnt understand how it waould cause the vagina to stretch ??? Or just using common sense realizing that there are changes to the "elasticity" of vagina after vaginal childbirth perhaps in which case it is "stretched" sufficiently to accommadate a couple of fingers.

CH yes it seems we are the same regarding the tight, wet, tight until penetration bit and then according to partner carrying on through with this tightness thing until intercourse has ended . ...i always thing to myself when embarking on new relationship ....or men bring up subject of ex wives or partners and make comment s on thier sex lives with thier former spouce/partner ect dont make derogatory comments on your sex life with your former wife or partner ...its nasty ..offensive ...and she WAS the woman who bore your child ....or you spent X ammount of time with having a loving relationship ...those type of guy DONT win my vote! and if he talks about x partner ...hey !!! you can bet he will about me!! as you saw about my comment with the French guy...when said this to a particular guy i have been with i have been accused of being a Feminist ...ive answered ...i think your wrong but i sometimes thing men focus far too much on this size of vagina "tightness" thing in a loving relationship where there is respect for each other it shouldnt matter if the vagina is a tight as a drum or a little on the loose side ..either through childbirth ...ageing ...or medical problems . When i date a guy for the first time im sure he would be appalled if i suggested "drop trou" to see if your suitable or you equipted to please a woman large enough ect !! thats why i made the comment of finding it offensive men discussing size and tightness of our vaginas ....agin on the fingering issue could i say to any ladies if you feel uncomfortable or indeed in pain or sore from anything thats happening during sex and you arenot achieving the same level of satifaction as your man ...remember ladies you are in control !! and can tell your partner.

Chandlers Wish ...my best wishes , Katty x

[rebellee47]

I have had a lot of success fingering my wife but I have yet to find the G-SPOT?? I discussed with her and she aloowed me to search with my fingers for it but we never found it . Does anyone have laymens terms instructions for easily finding this area?? Thanks...Lee

[C]

I apologise for changeing tack a little from the origional "over fingering" post but again only because of my confusion over the meaning of "kept me tight" and tucked and wondering what Caroline meant by tucked ? Caroline commented "a woman can get too stretched out thus hindering orgasm" , i was trying to work out what part of the vagina was Caroline referring to can be stretched ? assuming it is the clitoral area that is getting stimulated with one or indeeed more fingers does this mean that this skin stretches with manipulation either gentle or hard ? or would Caroline be referring to finger/finger (s) actually inside the vagina . Thinking about this ...i may be wrong ...insertion of the afore mentioned during lovemaking when your partner shouldnt be causing you any pain or discomfort with the act of insertion unless he was pulling or forcing fingers in pulling the sides of the vagina if you grasp my meaning i carnt understand how it waould cause the vagina to stretch ??? Or just using common sense realizing that there are changes to the "elasticity" of vagina after vaginal childbirth perhaps in which case it is "stretched" sufficiently to accommadate a couple of fingers.

Even through this post was addressed to CW, I will answer the things pertaining to me...When a woman is "fisted" which some men do to them and they like it, their whole upper area of the vagina stretches out...For them to orgasm, I would think and I have heard is difficult...The more fingers inside you the more you stretch...When I had my complete hysterectomy at age 47, and seeing I was reconstructed as that is what they did then, my husband told the doctor to make me good and tight....This he also told our OB-GYN as far as stitching when each baby was born...With this blessing I did have sore stitches for a bit for I am tight alright and the lips of my vulva are pretty much the way he found them...That is what he refers to as tucked and many women try and get...By keeping me tight as they have done, I would imagine that this has added to the vaginal and g-spot orgasms that I have. With my using estring to feed the inside of my vaginal canal, my vagina at this age resembles and acts like that of a young woman...This I have heard from the doctors and I guess I know it is true from the height of passion where I live. I guess I wish I knew why all these things are true and what has happened but I just don't....

[C]

Caroline - im not quite sure i understand your comment "this way he has kept me tight " ? do you mean the muscles of the vagina ? OK im 40 in a few weeks never been married, had any kids ect but of course not a virgin dating since age 15 , dated men aged from 25 up to 61 recent sexual partner aged 28. I wouldnt say i had a lot of sexual experience or that i was promiscuous but just going by some of the things the guys ive dated have told me (quite a few have been divorced) and im in no way trying to cause offence please dont take it as such you say that you are "as tucked as before you were married" agin im confused to you mean your vagina has not stretched as you say you have had three children . Have you had vaginal deliveries if its ok to ask . The reason i say this it seems to me that every man i date seems to be obsessed by the fact i havent had children as they say my vagina is vastly different to a woman that has given birth . I personally find this obsession that guys have eithier just trying to date me/have sex with me for the so called tightness of my vaginal muscles offensive . Ive only been in love once, a French guy a couple of years back he was 46 (abouts) and he seemed to constantly go on about this tightness thing apparently it was the topic of discussion with his workmates he had one child with his last partner and apparently he dint want to have sex after the birth because he said he said it was "too big"" This isnt a subject i could discuss with any of my married friends i just feel like they wouldtake offence so again please dont take offence i just dont understand when you say hes kept me tight ...but then say you have had three kids ...is that possible.
I know from vaginal examinations drs say im extreamly tight but what is the definition of "tight" the french guy has said on many occasions dont have kids take it from me it ruins your body ...im a UK dress size 8 have 34 b bust and weigh 8 stone 7 lb i personally carnt see how my body could change that much or could it ? regarding the fingering issue and the 2 to 3 fingers thing if you have a good relationship with your partner and it seems dollface does could you not just say nicely that its too intense or it hurts a bit ? i know if it was 2 to 3 fingers with me and hard , id be in agony id say gentle on the outside bit for not very long

Now I see this post so as you can see I go backward in life... My children were all vaginal deliveries....But my muscles in my vaginal area are so strong from the doctor's works that I can grasp my husband's penis and hold it tight....He cannot get loose...I have never in my life used a vibrator or dildo up until 2 years ago...Only my husband with his one finger...I was so tight after the delivery of the children that we had a hard time getting it in for a while...He had to break me in....So with us sex is fantastic...I have a g-spot that is on fire ad vaginal orgasms that go on and on. So much of the erotic behavior of a woman are in her mind...Unfortunately, I, too, have heard of women that get very large after childbirth...Many just don't have a hope of an orgasm unless it is from the clit...I believe being this way has made my body sexually alive....Either that or I am married to this stud that is so good that at this later age in life, I am still a bundle of mush ....

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi CHANDLERS WISH - thanks for your reply and thanks also for all your interesting, informative and entertaining and enlightening posts.

I do have a life honest, true!!! pertaining to "all your"... T/Y. I have myself, learnt a fair bit from this Forum as well has held interesting conversations on topics and well, sometimes laughed so much, i chose not to type......lol.

I apologise for changeing tack a little from the origional "over fingering" "Over fingering?" well my last paragraph is my concept of whether this exists... post but again only because of my confusion over the meaning of "kept me tight" and tucked and wondering what Caroline meant by tucked ? Caroline commented "a woman can get too stretched out thus hindering orgasm" , i was trying to work out what part of the vagina was Caroline referring to can be stretched ? assuming it is the clitoral area that is getting stimulated with one or indeeed more fingers does this mean that this skin stretches with manipulation either gentle or hard ? or would Caroline be referring to finger/finger (s) actually inside the vagina . Thinking about this ...i may be wrong ...insertion of the afore mentioned during lovemaking when your partner shouldnt be causing you any pain or discomfort with the act of insertion unless he was pulling or forcing fingers in pulling the sides of the vagina if you grasp my meaning i carnt understand how it waould cause the vagina to stretch ??? Or just using common sense realizing that there are changes to the "elasticity" of vagina after vaginal childbirth perhaps in which case it is "stretched" sufficiently to accommadate a couple of fingers.

I can't speak as you know, regarding after childbirth. I had a slight giggle to myself to be honest just then, because i recalled a bit more info... To me it's like this. The advice given to me regarding my ear piercing (2nd hole) 20 some years ago was to make sure that i from time to time wear earings, or else they will close up.... Goodness, i better hurry up then where sex is concerened!!!!!!!!

But, honestly, i can recall relationships whom "had no real idea of foreplay", having only been basic and for a very... few minutes, a bit embarrasing for me to say that but..., but once half way in, notibably i was very wet so i would get those silly comments" gee your like a virgin" to "gee your so wet"... Ah/der! Sorry, now in reflection, even my husband would say that (ex)...

So i guess we are like a "closed book" until open?

CH yes it seems we are the same regarding the tight, wet, tight until penetration bit and then according to partner carrying on through with this tightness thing until intercourse has ended . ...

I personally don't stay that way til the end, only at the beginning, having said that i had a girlfriend who was a body builder and well she tought me also how to tighten those muscles, so i can also as Caroline stated below this, hold my man inside of me... I might start practising that one again....

On the flip side, straying a bit, i also recall my Doctor since i was 4 until around 35, having to do that horrid thing that they have to do annually, not at 4 of course, and i ensured that i was "dry" well, he is a man, and when he tried to put that thing in me, he said " are you always this dry" as he couldn't do it... lol... I wish i could find him now to tell him well no it was just that i did this before because and gee men.... So, i think i may also tense up a bit in certain situations!

i always thing to myself when embarking on new relationship ....or men bring up subject of ex wives or partners and make comment s on thier sex lives with thier former spouce/partner ect dont make derogatory comments on your sex life with your former wife or partner ...its nasty ..offensive ...and she WAS the woman who bore your child ....or you spent X ammount of time with having a loving relationship ...those type of guy DONT win my vote! and if he talks about x partner ...hey !!! you can bet he will about me!! as you saw about my comment with the French guy...when said this to a particular guy i have been with i have been accused of being a Feminist ...ive answered ...i think your wrong but i sometimes thing men focus far too much on this size of vagina "tightness" thing I do recall my ex's excitement over that as of course i wasn't at 36, when i married him and i agree, but i guess it may make the guy feel i don't know, good... but i agree in a loving relationship where there is respect for each other it shouldnt matter if the vagina is a tight as a drum or a little on the loose side ..either through childbirth ...ageing ...or medical problems . When i date a guy for the first time im sure he would be appalled if i suggested "drop trou" to see if your suitable or you equipted to please a woman large enough ect !!( Now truly that would be cool)..... thats why i made the comment of finding it offensive men discussing size and tightness of our vaginas ....(I do agree though maybe that is the difference between a "man" and a MAN) agin on the fingering issue could i say to any ladies if you feel uncomfortable or indeed in pain or sore from anything thats happening during sex and you arenot achieving the same level of satifaction as your man ...remember ladies you are in control !! and can tell your partner.

I can't relate to the "fist thing", whilst i understand it happens, reading Caroline's reply to you, i can't fathom that? I mean, a man doesn't have that size, a woman who does bare children probably doesn't want to remember that size and i just would feel degraded if someone tried that i'd get up and run!!!!!

I do recall of course "fingering", which was the topic here? Yep, it was.. Personally, i would like to feel that one finger, glide its way nicely to the back in a loving motion of extacy than having 2 or 3 put inside me penetrating "do you like that babe"...

Again, as i said, that may be the difference between a "man" and a MAN...

I can ascertain i guess that your wall would open up or expand on both sides more if there was more inside of you, if we do look at the size of a man, it is obvious that it doesn't count in as much as if you don't think physologically about it and love the person, you feel it regardless of size and your virgina adjusts...to that width, small or large, shorter or longer. That is a known fact but i beg to differ that the inital stages of foreplay prior to penetration should involve such thickness then attempt to put him in there, if that be the case, as she would have "opened up" more to accomodate and then of course if he is thin, then he just cooked his goose.....


Perhaps, that's the key and answer there in reflection?

Chandlers Wish ...my best wishes , Katty x

And to you.............Katty.

[katty1]

Even through this post was addressed to CW, I will answer the things pertaining to me...When a woman is "fisted" which some men do to them and they like it, their whole upper area of the vagina stretches out...For them to orgasm, I would think and I have heard is difficult...The more fingers inside you the more you stretch...When I had my complete hysterectomy at age 47, and seeing I was reconstructed as that is what they did then, my husband told the doctor to make me good and tight....This he also told our OB-GYN as far as stitching when each baby was born...With this blessing I did have sore stitches for a bit for I am tight alright and the lips of my vulva are pretty much the way he found them...That is what he refers to as tucked and many women try and get...By keeping me tight as they have done, I would imagine that this has added to the vaginal and g-spot orgasms that I have. With my using estring to feed the inside of my vaginal canal, my vagina at this age resembles and acts like that of a young woman...This I have heard from the doctors and I guess I know it is true from the height of passion where I live. I guess I wish I knew why all these things are true and what has happened but I just don't....

Hi Caroline ...many thanks for clarifiying the "tucked" issue ...you have a fantasic dr and i can truely say if i am ever able to achieve even half way the same level of sexual satifaction that you have with your husband id be a very happy bunny indeed ...i wholeheartedly agree with you that so much of erotic behaviour of woman is in her mind ...its certainly true of the a good 90 % of the guys ive dated seem to think that sexual satisfaction is only achieved though direct stimulation of the vagina/clitoris ...what's happening here ...come on guys! youve been married had long term relationships ect ...its time you got to know what us ladies want and like ....ive never used a vibrator/dildo with a guy or without (without ? - fearing moms "popped round to my house and kindly washed up those few dishes and "oh your food whisk is on the draining board dear !!! ...thanks mom !! BUT im open to trying most things to improve sex life so id say yes i would use one. For so far ...perhaps its just been that particular guys technique ive only been able to achive orgasm with my brasts nipples being stimulated quicker if vagina PLUS nipples are being stimulated ....
The reason i mentioning stretching and medical reasons is i had a couple of cystoscopies a year or two back for what they thought was constant UTI - (cystoscopy as you know is a camera fed up urethra to check out the bladder ) for a few weeks afterwards the urethra/clitoris was really sensitive and i lost the feeling in it ....PANIC STATIONS was this going to be the end of my sex life ?? glad to say it was temp and all feeling came back no nerve damage and no further problems !! but i did notice that the clitoris seems to be just slightly larger visably to what it was before i was wondering perhaps the act of what they did though i know its only a really thin telescopic thing could have stretched it and could further stimulation over time cause it to go bigger ??? nope !! it seems not i think i was worrying too much. but even before i had it done and indeed afterwards i really prefer and can only just take the one finger glide its way in gentle thing if i was going for the orgasm which i kind of hope i would get it would be the gentle but FAST motion !!

thanks again for taking time to explain and for some great sex tips ...heres to many more years of good hot sex .

Katty x

[katty1]

Chandlers wish - foreplay ! or should i say men and foreplay !! ohhh the bain of my life!! all i can say is "more please" or more, more and more... at least more than 3 min max i seem to have experienced so far!.. yes im the same just the very basic which is also embarassing for me too to admit !...especially as ive dated for all these years and ive yet to have that "mindblowing" experience ...i live in hope ...i do sometimes think that possibly it could be the guy comparing me to ex lover ect as in "my ex enjoyed such and such if she did ...you will ...or to hell with you, woman!!! i dont know perhaps im picking the wrong guys or maybe theyre picking the wrong woman depending how you look at it ...but hey...i live in hope ...

Again my apologies as the origional post was "over fingering" which i agree with you ...can a woman be overfingered ? ...i dont think she can...it just depends on where the man is fingering !! Body and foot massage is great i just wish id encountered more men who were willing to spend a little time on this simple but wonderfully relaxing and erotic foreplay ...

Best wishes ..katty

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Chandlers wish - foreplay ! or should i say men and foreplay !! ohhh the bain of my life!! all i can say is "more please" or more, more and more... at least more than 3 min max i seem to have experienced so far!.. yes im the same just the very basic which is also embarassing for me too to admit !...especially as ive dated for all these years and ive yet to have that "mindblowing" experience ...i live in hope ...i do sometimes think that possibly it could be the guy comparing me to ex lover ect as in "my ex enjoyed such and such if she did ...you will ...or to hell with you, woman!!! i dont know perhaps im picking the wrong guys or maybe theyre picking the wrong woman depending how you look at it ...but hey...i live in hope ...

Again my apologies as the origional post was "over fingering" which i agree with you ...can a woman be overfingered ? ...i dont think she can...it just depends on where the man is fingering !! Body and foot massage is great i just wish id encountered more men who were willing to spend a little time on this simple but wonderfully relaxing and erotic foreplay ...

Best wishes ..katty

Well fingering is still part of the foreplay so i think we're safe...

I'm with you 100%. But i also lust after doing it to to him.........
little sexual beast i think i'm becoming....bugger....lol.

The guy i keep talking about "well", made one comment " if you want someone passionate in the bedroom, then look for someone that is passionate with their life"... I am very very looking forward to that "passion" in real life in May So close ahhhhh.....

But i think also i made that conscious decision this time round instead of getting involved first, i got to know first the person, thoughts, ideals, goals, dreams, sex, intimacy beliefs etc and well worse i'll have the best 3 days, best, i'll have found my true compatibility as i love all aspects about this man not just the sexual passion...

Maybe that's the key?

You may very well be right as well with how they compare, mine was married for 17 years and where he is, is where he's always been, so i can only suggest, talk, listen, evaluate, don't do and if they can talk the talk then chances are they can walk the walk.....

Back to the thread! Sorry......