[C]

[quote=anonymouswhitefemale;34931]
My main other thing I'd have to add on porn is that men on the whole (at least in ages 18-30) have a higher sex drive than women, so slowing it down to the partners pace is a bit harsh, as I'm sure when that woman hits her peak at 30+ she'll be demanding sex and if she doesn't get it it's out with the dildo or a toyboy...[/quote]

There is no way that this is her peak....Each book says something different...Each woman is different...Laura Corn who wrote many sexual books has said her's was 55.....Never have I been as sexual as I am now...When these words are spoken they can confuse women more....I believe a man peaks early as he just can't stay erect for that long but a woman gets better and better and better and better.....She matures and with this she comes alive...Only when you are priviledged to have a woman such as this will you know what I speak about....

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Katty1,

I firstly want to say on that prostition side, i am not correct, we have Kings Cross in Sydney now that i think about it, i am in SA, and well i have never ever seen in all my life a prostitute walking the streets but i worked for an Investigation Firm and am aware of may brothels therefore.

I suspect it may be very different in other Countrys sometimes i forget, especially since the introduction of various topics pertaining to other Countries i have only ever read here on this Forum and i'm still trying to get my head around a few.

Simularily i have never gone out with a man who either watched porn, or had books by his bed, or hidden and i have lived with my ex-husband and my fiance before that, then a 4 year and an on and of 14 yr relationship, so i don't think porn is my forte...

I agree with Fallen1 that preferably i therefore don't see the necessity for it in a committed relationship with "passion" and the maintaining of that passion as i am a giver.

Now i'm a taker to That was a hard thing to change over....

I was expressing from my side that i am extremely open minded where sex is concerened and understand men's needs especially with masterbation and that does not reflect on my in my books however, i would aim at giving as much as i could so there was no need there either unless he's just a sex driven man and i can't compete, well that's ok.

I know there are times when you can not be together and as such, it is irrelevant as you feel that urge, i'm there, he's there at the moment but i also know that he thinks of me and it's therefore with me before his eyes.

And, as i said, i'm not a jealous type at all but i like 1 on 1 committed, no need, type of thing, on the porn thing, but i suspect it's okay in my books as said, if a once thing to see, or to add to spice your life, i'm just a real romantic where love is concerned....

But that's me...

CW

[katty1]

I was only saying that from the moral standpoint of "preventing a human life from happening", that was exactly what we are doing when we put that condom on, or even exactly what we are doing when we don't tear our clothes of and mate like rabbits in the street. Obviously I do think that we should be preventing human lives from happening... I do believe in contraception, and in abortion. And in mandatory child limits in overpopulated areas.



No thanks necessary - give credit where credit is due... My point about the whole torrents thing was just because I laugh when I hear about people spending loads of money on porn, simply because I wouldn't even comprehend the thought given how easily and safely it can be 'obtained'. It doesn't hurt to spread the word ...


Did I just misunderstand you or are you saying it's fine for your man to fantasize as long as it's not about other men?



Yeah, the jealousy thing amuses me quite a lot to be honest. low brow womens magazines thrive off that faeces. "12 page special of celebrity spots! Look! It's Victoria beckham with a pimple on her breast! Oh my god!". It wasn't really until I met someone who laps up that rubbish that I found it even funnier - this was a girl that had a few skin problems but she took absolute delight in every minor flaw in these women who are obviously far more attractive than herself. It just seemed so....... pathetic. And catty, *****y, snyde, whatever you want to call it. I've got to be honest, and I risk sounding a bit sexist here, but I also think it's pretty poor how girls are with each other and their own friends. One will only mention that you've lost weight if you still look worse than they do, they won't go out with someone that much prettier than them because it makes them look ugly, as soon as someone's back's turned there's *****ing going on... Basically when I see groups like that I don't see friendship at all, I see a pathetic game, and vicious unsympathetic girls. My limited experience of deep female/female relationships has also betrayed this angle, constant one-up-manship. The relationship is fine as long as the "power" (read; attractiveness) balance remains the same. Many of the women I meet have told me that they choose not to have female friends for this reason. But I suppose men have their heirarchical power structures too.


I agree that certainly a lot of women would feel like this; not all though. Generally the asexual women will just see it as degrading, improper and against whatever social taboos they've been bred to uphold to the letter.

My main other thing I'd have to add on porn is that men on the whole (at least in ages 18-30) have a higher sex drive than women, so slowing it down to the partners pace is a bit harsh, as I'm sure when that woman hits her peak at 30+ she'll be demanding sex and if she doesn't get it it's out with the dildo or a toyboy...

A.N.F just to answer first on your last paragraph ....i beg to differ on your last paragraph ...i would say my sex drive has never altered from the age of 18 onwards ...one of the reasons (possibly) is because ive never used the contraceptive pill which according to what i know and have heard does alter womans sex drive ...now im approaching 40 in a few weeks i certainly dont feel any changes regarding sex drive in fact i know for a fact im very fertile ..and i am thankful for that ...but i dont think a woman hits peak at 30 plus again it depends who that woman is i know friend who married at 23 by the time they were 24 they told me they dont want or bother with sex any more ...i dont know why ..it was just one particular friend . but you say after 30 demanding sex ? dildo and toyboy ...i beg differ ...there many increadably beautiful , sexy women sexy in all ways not just physically! all over the world that are past the age of 30, 40, 50, and onwards think of classy elegant women !! they dont loose thier elegance and class just because they age !!! and if a woman has good bone stucture (cheekbones ect) of course she will age !!...but that beauty will still be there if she takes care of herself...

I have had the good fortune to have one or two lovely genuinely nice girlfriends in my life ...good friends are hard to find ...its like good men ! but its the general way of women we like to gossip ...sometimes it can be *****y ...ive *****ed myself in my time ...but only when ive thought *****ing was due !!! i wont go into that ...

To answer your comment "its fine for your man to fantasize as long as its not about th milk man (or men) just a little joke but if i was dating i guy and we had got to the sexual stage i would assume he was straight . I have date bi sexual guys and indeed had some fantastic fun nights out with gay male friends (truth be known probabably had a far better time with gay male friends ...but my comment was just lighthearted about the milkman ...

Yes im sure some women do see porn as degrading and i have to say it depends on if it hard porn/ soft porn ive only ever seen a couple of hardcore involving some gay porn ...lesbian porn ..and couples but i dont watch porn alone i dont really think about it to be honest with you . but i would watch it with a partner *if i saw anything that i personally i felt uncomfortable with in any way id just say to my partner ok whatever you want to do ...carry on watching ...im leaving the room and that i prefer not to carry on with viewing . Hopefully out of respect my partner would turn it off ...hope that explains it a bit more

[katty1]

Katty1,

I firstly want to say on that prostition side, i am not correct, we have Kings Cross in Sydney now that i think about it, i am in SA, and well i have never ever seen in all my life a prostitute walking the streets but i worked for an Investigation Firm and am aware of may brothels therefore.

I suspect it may be very different in other Countrys sometimes i forget, especially since the introduction of various topics pertaining to other Countries i have only ever read here on this Forum and i'm still trying to get my head around a few.

Simularily i have never gone out with a man who either watched porn, or had books by his bed, or hidden and i have lived with my ex-husband and my fiance before that, then a 4 year and an on and of 14 yr relationship, so i don't think porn is my forte...

I agree with Fallen1 that preferably i therefore don't see the necessity for it in a committed relationship with "passion" and the maintaining of that passion as i am a giver.

Now i'm a taker to That was a hard thing to change over....

I was expressing from my side that i am extremely open minded where sex is concerened and understand men's needs especially with masterbation and that does not reflect on my in my books however, i would aim at giving as much as i could so there was no need there either unless he's just a sex driven man and i can't compete, well that's ok.

I know there are times when you can not be together and as such, it is irrelevant as you feel that urge, i'm there, he's there at the moment but i also know that he thinks of me and it's therefore with me before his eyes.

And, as i said, i'm not a jealous type at all but i like 1 on 1 committed, no need, type of thing, on the porn thing, but i suspect it's okay in my books as said, if a once thing to see, or to add to spice your life, i'm just a real romantic where love is concerned....

But that's me...

CW

CHANDLERS WISH - its a pleasure to post to you - im afraid im a bit of a slow typer i flew around posting when i really did want to post earlier to you ..i hope i havent got myself into a bit of "hotwater" over this ....i should of headed the topic "how to offend "...by worlds worst !!! You know its not intended ....

I hope ive covered it a bit more by some of my other posts - you know from previous posts that i talked about loving relationship and respect .thats really imprtant to me ...im like every other lady if i was dating guy for long time or married and living with him id be devestated if i found he was cheating and if he left me ...id prob fall to pieces.
Again the porn ...if i came home and he was watching it ...initial shock of just not expecting him to be sitting there with his "bits" out doing whatever ...then feeling miffed, a bit of every emotion really ...but then id prob say do you mind? id rather not watch that rubbish !!! and certainly not when Mel Gibsons on BBC1 id go for the remote and the mel movie.. if it was just once in a while or i knew he went around to friends places aand watched them and he told me about it and told me it he was horny ...nicer if i get the result of him watching it but if he told me hed had a bit of quick relief or i new he was in the loo doing whatever because hed watched it ...it wouldnt bother me in the slightest ....but nice it i get the result of it but no probs if i dont . ...

Regards being outgoing ...i wouldnt say i was really ...im a quiet person but if i have evening out and a few (not many ...just a few glasses of wine ect ...im like everyone else i get a bit more chatty ! and il have a little sing and dance ...its just past 2am here CH and i think i have almost certainly "typed myself out" for today....
Thanks for your post ...i apprieciate your thoughts ...
Best wishes katty x

[CHANDLERS WISH]

CHANDLERS WISH - its a pleasure to post to you - im afraid im a bit of a slow typer i flew around posting when i really did want to post earlier to you ..i hope i havent got myself into a bit of "hotwater" over this ....i should of headed the topic "how to offend "...by worlds worst !!! You know its not intended ....

Funny girl. Actually, this gives me the red light, when i said hi when you introduced yourself and said you were from England, i made comment remind me not to tell you his name!! That was purely because in his field, this sort of Forum would be up his alley, i often wonder because he would see behind my name of what i write, lol, but of course after, i thought foot and mouth decease, you may think otherwise as to why i said that. It's interesting everyone has their views and opinions, sure your not in hot water.

I hope ive covered it a bit more by some of my other posts - you know from previous posts that i talked about loving relationship and respect .thats really imprtant to me ...im like every other lady if i was dating guy for long time or married and living with him id be devestated if i found he was cheating and if he left me ...id prob fall to pieces.
Again the porn ...if i came home and he was watching it ...initial shock of just not expecting him to be sitting there with his "bits" out doing whatever ...then feeling miffed, a bit of every emotion really ...but then id prob say do you mind? id rather not watch that rubbish !!! and certainly not when Mel Gibsons on BBC1 id go for the remote and the mel movie.. if it was just once in a while or i knew he went around to friends places aand watched them and he told me about it and told me it he was horny ...nicer if i get the result of him watching it but if he told me hed had a bit of quick relief or i new he was in the loo doing whatever because hed watched it ...it wouldnt bother me in the slightest ....but nice it i get the result of it but no probs if i dont . ...

Regards being outgoing ...i wouldnt say i was really ...im a quiet person but if i have evening out and a few (not many ...just a few glasses of wine ect ...im like everyone else i get a bit more chatty ! and il have a little sing and dance ...its just past 2am here CH and i think i have almost certainly "typed myself out" for today....
Thanks for your post ...i apprieciate your thoughts ...
Best wishes katty x

Well yes, i know what time it is, you should be sleeping.... lol.

We all chat more after a couple of drinks you probably hold yourself very well and confidently, so out-going was probably the wrong word.

But, as i said, never experienced the porn but so staying out of it now, as no point if i don't know what i'm talking about......

I am just a lustful, romantic with a great sex drive so he won't need it, that's all....

You've had it thrown in your face left right and centre and well, that can be totally confusing i think....

Sleep well, well that's what i say on this computer to those who are in their night whilst i'm in my day.... I'm getting used to that!!!!

CW

[anonymouswhitefemale]

A.N.F just to answer first on your last paragraph ....i beg to differ on your last paragraph ...i would say my sex drive has never altered from the age of 18 onwards ...one of the reasons (possibly) is because ive never used the contraceptive pill which according to what i know and have heard does alter womans sex drive ...now im approaching 40 in a few weeks i certainly dont feel any changes regarding sex drive

What I meant was that women seem to "wake up" sexually at 30+. Hormonally speaking, men's drive peaks at 18-20, wheras women are after 30. Hence why there's often a gap in libido.

but you say after 30 demanding sex ? dildo and toyboy ...i beg differ ...there many increadably beautiful , sexy women sexy in all ways not just physically! all over the world that are past the age of 30, 40, 50, and onwards think of classy elegant women !! they dont loose thier elegance and class just because they age !!! and if a woman has good bone stucture (cheekbones ect) of course she will age !!...but that beauty will still be there if she takes care of herself...

I just mean that once a woman is sexually awakened she is going to want to follow it up, and will feel strangled if she cant. Just like a man would. That's all I'm talking about.

I would reply more fully but I'm knackered and I'm going to sleep.

[C]

I do not believe in prostitution. It is a woman selling her body for money. I see no good in this yet it has been here since the beginning of mankind. To have to use this precious part of me to service another man as a job is about as much mental pain as I can imagine...Kind of takes that road back to rape.

Porn is an evil that is there to be both good and bad...It will be here and exist as long as we all have our sexual bodies...We, as man, are filled with lust for each other...The problem here is trying to identify if we are man or beast. Beast has a tendency to rule...I believe that it does not belong in a committed relationship when only one person desires it... Seeing both of us enjoy Porn sometimes this is great...Actually, we are a matching set......

Masturbation...If both agree on it fine...To have a partner who you love, sit in front of a computer and jerk off in front of you or even alone sucks. It would tear me apart. I take care of him...I will do what he needs. No other woman has a right to him..I am this man's porn...I will be to him everything that any woman can be, and I would not allow him to waste it on a two bit tramp, showing her stuff on a computer.. The same thing would include me playing with myself while looking at male Porn.

Sometimes it is so hard for me being such an open minded woman, trying to figure out how two people can be so in love with each other and not be able to satisfy their sexual needs. For me, fingers, tongues and body parts drive me wild....Makes you wonder about all of us...What if we had been born back in the beginning of time........

[anonymouswhitefemale]

You say that selling yourself for cash would be mental anguish - to each their own. I've met several "escorts" that love their job - they like having sex and they like having money. Just because you wouldn't want to do it does that mean that those who don't really care become immoral worthless skanks?

Caroline, you say that you're your mans everything, and that's great. But he doesn't seem to fulfill you sexually (not 100%) as you say you use a vibrator/dildo often. Which I think is fine.

However, a dildo is as much cheating and disrespectful as porn... Men are visual creatures, that's how our brain is wired. Porn is a masturbation aid, just like your vibrator. The reason men don't get (that) insecure and upset when a woman uses a dildo is that we are rational creatures and dont base things off pure emotion.


Mastubation is fine as long as both people agree to it? Haha, well I know I wont be in a relationship where masturbation is not allowed, and I think 99% of people here wouldn't put up with that either.

As for whether we are men or beasts - we are all ANIMALS. We'd do well to remember that. We aren't computers that live our lives by religious/social programming - we are animals with wants, needs, ambitions, dreams and requirements.


Sometimes it can be hard for me having such undefeatable logic

[Fallen1]

However, a dildo is as much cheating and disrespectful as porn... Men are visual creatures, that's how our brain is wired. Porn is a masturbation aid, just like your vibrator. The reason men don't get (that) insecure and upset when a woman uses a dildo is that we are rational creatures and dont base things off pure emotion.

Yes and no. Could it also be that they don't get upset because a dildo is an inanimate object just a piece of rubber etc. He knows his woman is not staring at the screen and wishing she was the one f*ing the person on that screen? .... just a thought.

Yes, and before you even say it I understand that we don't know what is going on in the mind of that woman when she is using that dildo. All I can do is speak for myself and anytime I have "taken care of myself" and needed a little extra help I've always thought of my guy, never anyone else.

As for whether we are men or beasts - we are all ANIMALS. We'd do well to remember that. We aren't computers that live our lives by religious/social programming - we are animals with wants, needs, ambitions, dreams and requirements.

True but there is one BIG difference. We have the ability to reason, we have a conscience, and we have (well most of us ) have common sense.

Sometimes it can be hard for me having such undefeatable logic

That's your opinion.

[C]

You say that selling yourself for cash would be mental anguish - to each their own. I've met several "escorts" that love their job - they like having sex and they like having money. Just because you wouldn't want to do it does that mean that those who don't really care become immoral worthless skanks?

Everything that I have read and very learned people that I have talked to about this "art" tell a different story. Each is a wonderful actress. They aren't stu*id. But their sex life sucks. They lost that feeling long ago. It is a job and a job only......Let's put it this way, I don't socialize with them.......

Caroline, you say that you're your mans everything, and that's great. But he doesn't seem to fulfill you sexually (not 100%) as you say you use a vibrator/dildo often. Which I think is fine.

However, a dildo is as much cheating and disrespectful as porn... Men are visual creatures, that's how our brain is wired. Porn is a masturbation aid, just like your vibrator. The reason men don't get (that) insecure and upset when a woman uses a dildo is that we are rational creatures and dont base things off pure emotion.

I use Eric very sparingly. Used him last night... My husband is much older. He is something else. With as sexual as I am, I could have sex anytime he wanted it but I wouldn't...Because like anything else, it would lose something special about this hot relationship. The wild part of me would not drive him off the wall and I am sure that it would hurt me too. But this does not mean that my vaginal walls do not want. This does not mean that they don't come alive and sometimes I ejaculate when he puts his arms around me....It means that I am a very sexual woman and that man just plain turns me to mush....

My husband is my lover. He considers a vibrator or a dildo a threat to his fulfilling my needs. Besides having sex two to three times a week, we also go to bed and he fingers me out probably two more times....This is hot and I have to ejaculate because very simply, I am too much woman and have to be relieved. This I can see with other women here and it will grow. He wants to do this and I cannot mention the word vibrator or dildo or it can bring on one heated discussion. He is my lover 100%.....

Mastubation is fine as long as both people agree to it? Haha, well I know I wont be in a relationship where masturbation is not allowed, and I think 99% of people here wouldn't put up with that either.

What I mean on that is if both people want to do it together as part of their foreplay that is great. He knows that I masturbate once in a while but does not want me to ever tell him. If it hurts him why tell him. If he masturbated, I would want to take over and do it for him...You see Anon, I have never in my life dealt with a husband that masturbated. From the day we were married he would get so hot around me that I could hardly touch him and he would pop his cork. Now I can suck on him and play with him and drive him wild and blow him and it is the most wonderful time in my life...Before that and being younger, it just wasn't possible..

As for whether we are men or beasts - we are all ANIMALS. We'd do well to remember that. We aren't computers that live our lives by religious/social programming - we are animals with wants, needs, ambitions, dreams and requirements.

Amen: I love that....I am still struggling to write a blog of the hottest love making possible. This happened two mornings ago. I found a new part of me that I never thought possible...I guess it is the animal in me...Never did it before...More than ever I know now how the shame factor affects so many women in the bedroom.....either that or I am a lost cause......More animal than man......BUT oh my God what an orgasm I had and met him at the same time......This I must write up today.....

Sometimes it can be hard for me having such undefeatable logic

Yep, life is a bit*h....

Now you have a good day too.....