[CHANDLERS WISH]

the thing is CH your backing Caroline up arent you and i bet its because its hit a rore nerve with you ...i mean your divorced arent you there must still and i understand that fully be some pain assoiciated with that .

Well good for you, at least your talking to me now...

No, i don't back anyone, i speak my mind, Caroline and i have had our differences and let me tell you this particular way you are writing is how i handled it to, but then i realised that i don't know her, now i know her better and therefore, i am only telling you what she writes, how i read it, interperate it, what i like about it and what i don't. And, as you go along, there will be others to that you love, or love to hate, or that they do with someone else, it's life, a difference of opinions.

I've eaten now by the way...

No i am not divorced, 30th May 2008 i can do that. And, no there is no pain i went through that before i walked away. There was nothing left for me and i was laughing and happy from day one, the only pain i feel is for him, as he does not understand sensuality, love and commitment and i can't teach someone who does not want to change.

But thanks for thinking of me there.


Look ..i wrote the piece and i knew as i was typing it i was going to get the "backlash" it was obvious it was going to get on the **** of some of the women reading it .

I cant read that length and reply so excuse me by cutting in here and there.

As i say im new to posting although ive had PC or 6 or 7 years ...i started posting because i was posting on a health forum because my ex (french guy) unfortunately gave me chymydia and i developed PID...im ...but im not bitter as you can tell ...

More the reason why you should tell your stories so others can be a comfort, remember there are several areas on this Forum.

I did, i do, i don't care. Who is CW? But what if 10 people said, me to, and this is how i feel, would that comfort me, or help me?

Don't take this wrong, but is it possible also that your peeved at the **** you have had to go through?

it i chanced upon this forum made a few postings in the gyne section and that led to sex forum and here i am !!! ...i knew when i posted it ...that either id get a load of feminists or get women ranting on about this and that because basically they either have an idea hes watching porn ect or they are upset and annoyed because they think or they are suspicious theyre "man" is either seeing another woman visiting a prositute

Well in my "opinion" that's the wrong reasons to post. Because no one is ranting, rather sharing, or getting of their chest, or seeking and as for feminists or cheuvamism, that's a fact of life but there are ways to reply.

I enjoy as i said, replying to those i can that are in any of the above positions if i think i have constructive or informative or past experience to share.

(and im telling you you wouldnt believe how many men happily married ar doing this and theyre wife has NO idea)

I'm learning trust me, reading it here.

any man who has a pc can be waching porn the problem is the women who fall to pieces at the mere idea he *could be* instead of posting to females on this subject and if you notice ive already had a post from a lady THANKING ME ...

Yes, and that's the beauty of when you write from your heart and you touch a soul with your words that you can reach someone and unfortunately, then you reach those whom had never thought about it and all of a sudden do.

it was lovely of her but there is nothing to thank me for ....so she was accepting of it ...porn and her husband!

No it is nice when someone as i said, gains something from something you have said.. I would call that special.

your used to posting CH ...but i think in future if i do decide to carry on posting and i can do id prefer to post to men on this matter


I had to start somewhere? I said some ****** things when i did as well trust me, or didn't know what they were talking about.

So aim your threads at men but you know, this one just got ugly that's all, as i said let it go, your thread was certainly one that got people talking and thinking so i don't see why you can't thread to both sexes?

....it seems it really just winds women up ! whats the problem ....

I re-read what i wrote that you are replying to here, and i was talking about women at different ages, people on this Forum and honestly was just trying to get you to see that personal attacks are not cool, i've done it actually to Caroline and her back to me, perhaps as i have learnt that it was a ****** misunderstanding a simple thing, that it is wrong to attack or be attacked.

So, that is why if you feel that way, you feel that way but don't because that's not true.

and you are backing up caroline coz you have been posting with her on the forum for ages why not let her speak for herself !!

No Katty1, i'm not, i 1) answered above, and 2) i don't post with her, we still have a vast different of opinions on topics and disagree and then realise often that we are actually providing the threader with two scenarios, my opinion and her's and leave it to the threader.

And, no offense, how can i? You were writing to her through me, she said she was threw, you kept it going she made it clear she had not intention of answering.

i think its touched a rore nerve with you too and im sorry you feel that way ...

I have nothing but peace in my nature, i am truly trying to make you see that you need time on a Forum that's all, because i have been there and done this, simple so no you haven't touched a rore nerve at all.

I have always replied to you and i always will preferrably no longer on this thread but on others with the same enthusiasm that i was.

I not concerned at all of what you say, it's your opinion and that's perfectly fair.

but both of you still cannot comment on what i said ...your sliding round the issue ...

Sorry, i have no idea what you are talking about? What issue, what comment that i haven't replied to i have answered your original thread and then stated, i'll stay out of porn as i do not know enough about that subject why talk about something i don't know?


i spent a lot of time posting tonight and im truely typed out ...so thats my lot frankly i dont know why i posted in first place i can accept it porn/masturbation issue its obvious others carnt handle it !!

I can accept it all to but Katty1, it's just everyone has different opinions, they don't have to handle it, you don't have to hate it, it's their opinions.

best of luck with your boyfriend hope it all works out for you

Thanks, i truly hope it does to, but if not, as i keep saying, i won't settle for less than i deserve in life now.

Please stay on here and post away, thread away, i enjoyed the "disputing" as that is what the Forum is about, it's people having different opinions, tastes, desires and of they go saying what they think.

You have to just understand that we are all opinionated some heavier than others....

I hope to see you again on another post/thread....

CW

[katty1]

I'm sitting here starving at 3pm in the afternoon!!! So now i'm eating...

I know you posted this before you read my previous post as i know that you would have just posted, not used Chandlers Wish again.

Yes, love is beautiful and real but you know, it can happen for some people only once then they spend the rest of their life searching again for it and can't find it.

Yes, it touches the soul and that is beautiful of course, and as for your parents having sex, who knows, they may be ones whom have very very infrequent sex as their relationship is now based on friendship or they could be he and she devils for all you know, i'm just glad i don't know too much about mine that would be hard to visualise..... And, trust me i am great at visualising.

I was thinking after you wrote this part and where you are looking at this, love is "relationships/ dating / husband and wife / general " and sex is well "sex"...

So, the touchy feeling expressions are expressed on the other thread areas and the sex is expressed in the sex forum and that is where people can go wild and express if you know what i mean.

As i said before, some say it subtley, some say it with words, some read everything take it in and practice and say nothing, and every now and then i see one pop up and go Huh? I would never have thought she had that in her / or him, based on them replying mainly through other thread areas...

So, again, i can only say work your way through, chill, dont be personal or take things personally.

I have changed myself since joining here as i have a much better understanding on how people communicate here, the difference between if i can say Little, Americans to Australians to English.. The difference in words and how that effects different people.

Sure men will all agree on masterbation, but there is also nothing wrong if a woman feels ( over the past 3 years from that experience that is all so new to her) that she can do it all and he doesn't need to, i mean that would be a mans fantasy wouldn't it, total bliss 24/7 neither work, they have all the time they need. So again, it's all good and again, an opinion of what works for one doesn't always work for another.

I am very pleased Katty1, that after your ordeal had at such a young age and your mature decision which was your decision alone to make, that you have been around guys that watch porn, are gay, been if i recall in a bi sexual relationship as in he was bi and you went out with him, and been in love with a French Man.

That, if you read some of my threads where abuse was made, almost raped, is a confident woman standing tall and going foward without much of a scratch other than possibly deep, but certainly a grounded woman with much love to give and want and desire.. I am truly thrilled as not many of us can do that as women.

But also, being married or living with a guy or never being there, is also very very different as far as the extent of communication and knowledge of each other in totality, what they think, feel, do, as when you are married you do know a **** load more about the person, or when you live with them, i know, 8 years remember, very different than just having a boyfriend or fiance...

Frankly, i like the on-going lust instead of cooking meals and washing their jocks, so i may play this differently this time round.

Lastly, i will say one thing for Caroline this time, she knows that there is more than just sex, she is in her sexual peak, he had difficulties and she chose to do what ever she had to to keep him up, so to speak and it worked and as a result she is walking around daily sexually charged but she also collects Antiques, loves her dogs, cooks for him, hugs him, goes away with him, for drives, etc, so of course she knows love, 50 years of it, as i said, it is so hard to comprehend their age and where they are at, love struck teenagers but cute it's more the manorism of her speach that maybe you don't like, but other's do and then some don't, everyone is different.

Get to know her through here, you will soon feel differently over time, she is gratsious however you spell it and backs down if she feels she is wrong, and confident if she feels she is right, she has an opinion... Lord knows the challenges we went through at the beginning but on the same accord, lord knows the equality of where we both were coming from and the enjoyment of that together sharing in our own different way.

That is all i am saying on that, because maybe you may understand that unless you have been here for a while and read what she writes on other matters / relationships etc, then and only then can you gage what type of person she may be or thinks, other than that, it's called judgement, you read a few things and then judge...

I hope that all makes a lot of sense.

Now let it go and start again, i say.....

CW

I couldnt leave it at the point it was ...i know youve had something bad happen in your life and im pleased you managed to get over that .....but i stand by everything ive said and especially what annon white female said ...i posting because im worried chandlers im worried that i think you could be too gulable ...too trusting ...you just said in your last post caroline collects antiques, cooks for him ect ect ....do you know caroline personally have you been to her home? met her IN PERSON do you know them as a couple ?? im guessing you havent met her in person!! dont believe ANYTHING you read or see on the net anyone absolutely anyone can say anything and bad things can happen that way !!...i worry especially for women who contact men over the net ...men they have never met ..men they dont know ...men that could be living hundreds of miles away !! then they say they are IN LOVE !! its rediculous anyone can chat away tell them they are falling for them tell women what they WANT to hear either because they are lonely ...they go to meet them ...prpared to stay with a perfect stranger (but they dont think hes a stanger becouse they feel "a true connection " or theyve spoken for so long over the internet or phone !! he could be a rapist, been in jail, be on medication for mental problems ! you dont know ...dont believe ANYTHING peopletell you about themselves over the net CH remember there is no substitute for going out socially and meeting that special guy or making genuine friends face to face ...just ndont feel that you know a person because of what they have said via pc ...i say it because i do care but im just aware there are a lot of dangers out there as my grandmom used to say "LOVE ALL ...TRUST FEW ..AND PADDLE YOUR OWN CANOE !!! best wishes

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I couldnt leave it at the point it was ...i know youve had something bad happen in your life and im pleased you managed to get over that .....but i stand by everything ive said and especially what annon white female said ...i posting because im worried chandlers im worried that i think you could be too gulable ...too trusting ...you just said in your last post caroline collects antiques, cooks for him ect ect ....do you know caroline personally have you been to her home? met her IN PERSON do you know them as a couple ?? im guessing you havent met her in person!! dont believe ANYTHING you read or see on the net anyone absolutely anyone can say anything and bad things can happen that way !!...i worry especially for women who contact men over the net ...men they have never met ..men they dont know ...men that could be living hundreds of miles away !! then they say they are IN LOVE !! its rediculous anyone can chat away tell them they are falling for them tell women what they WANT to hear either because they are lonely ...they go to meet them ...prpared to stay with a perfect stranger (but they dont think hes a stanger becouse they feel "a true connection " or theyve spoken for so long over the internet or phone !! he could be a rapist, been in jail, be on medication for mental problems ! you dont know ...dont believe ANYTHING peopletell you about themselves over the net CH remember there is no substitute for going out socially and meeting that special guy or making genuine friends face to face ...just ndont feel that you know a person because of what they have said via pc ...i say it because i do care but im just aware there are a lot of dangers out there as my grandmom used to say "LOVE ALL ...TRUST FEW ..AND PADDLE YOUR OWN CANOE !!! best wishes

Thanks truly Katty1.


First i am glad that you stand by your opinion and you should.. And that someone else has a simular opinion if no one did, that would be well, ...... so i'm glad of that and anon's response for you. It was so long ago now that i can't remember, lol...


I wasn't just saying that i am sure you have read some of my threads, not posts, so you'd know that i know the nievety out there and the hurt and suffering that one has to go through and the **** that some men think they can just have, take or do.

I was truly saying that it is a strength that you have, that i have and i that can be shared, then we may just stop it from happening to another young person here..... That's why i share and the only reason.

Yes, when you look at it in that fashion you are correct, that's a fair call to, one can never be too trusting. But here, i am behind a computer talking so i see no need to be of concern, here on a Forum. Meeting a man however, i can certainly see your fear and point and care for me.


I read differently to others i am very deep. I see other things that may be happening for instance, sometimes i get CW you are so right and sometimes i get ignored, did i touch a nerve did they not want to hear? And other times, i get well i'd rather not say but i take everything everyone has said and now we are here and that's good, so i analyse if that be the way to put it, although i can't spell, but that's another story...

And with that, i don't judge but i try to see if there is something not being told, or something where the story has changed or something that may be made up even. Because here you don't have to fear a trust, you take what they are saying and help if you can from their words..

But, having said that, i don't look at someone changing their mind on a subject because we can all do that once listening to other opinions and see a different way or thought.

I hear you loud and clear and i am grateful for those words of wisdom.


There is absolute trust in this one. Let's just say that he has never told me what i wanted to hear, we didn't have any sexual conversation for around 6 weeks of conversing, about life and i have done my checking... And he does not know what i look like naked, nor ever asked, lol..

The hardest thing to do is to trust and that has to be built, it certainly didn't happen over night with me and him.

But, you may wish to post that on my thread about internet dating for the mature woman, because it's a valid point and needs to be said, and it wont mean anything if i say it... if you want to of course.

Take care...

The world is full of con artists but it's also full of beautiful real people, just have to weed them out from each other and find.

Now that's the hard part


Thanks again.....

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'm in the shirt here but i think it's important before anyone wakes up Little.....

And, nothing has got me the way this thread has...

So as a deep thinker everyone to their own where it comes to "opinions" and i am happy with what i have posted back however:-

I do agree with the following thoughts:- As posted as replies whether they are correct or not is not the issue it's the thoughts of well, people and how they feel..

I reuiterate, i thinks that this was an excellent thread, in as much as people sharing their opinions it bought out a lot of fears and issues and thoughts....

I want to say this:-

I agree, if in a committed relationship and someone says "that offends me" don't do it of course, i see that point by three posts.

I agree, if someone does want to masterbate, don't control let it happen, because we are all individual people and if you take a man / woman to heights likely scenario is that they want even more, Sophie someone posted a thread on that and well she is there... So, each to their own, it's not about anything other than what you want as an individual because we are.

That is an opinion...

And i'm so off this thread unless someone replies to me....ahhh...

Sorry, take the post point away i am not interested in how many i post let's face it i'll bloody reach 1000 by the end of May, who cares......

Every one to their needs and thoughts and well peace...........................

CW

[Little]

This thread can only go more sour from here ... so much for the good old college "try."