[othello]

me too....!

Im male and since the birth of our daughter my sex drive has been higher than my wifes. However before that it was I that couldnt keep up with her. My point is, that its not physically possible for a man to have sex continously like it is for a woman, women have more sexual stamina. The best way is for men not to orgasm whenever they have sex with a highly sexed woman. That way they can retain energy. What I'm trying to say is, if you man lack libido, perhaps we should avoid the traditional sentinel of the mans orgasm marking an end to a sexual encounter.

[hotlips69]

This is the first time I've ever posted a comment...quite virginal! But I have to say, I too have quite a high sex drive, especially if I am frustarted in other areas of my life. In some ways it's quite a relief, albeit a sexual one! I have on several occassions felt the urge both at work, in the car, shopping you name it most places, have felt the need to pleasure myself....and yes, I have on more than one occassion. I wonder if that makes me some sort of a sex addict???

[waya]

I know this thread was started 2 years ago but I am so glad I ran across it today. I've read through all of it. After being turned down many times and often made to feel bad about my high sex drive by my now-ex husband then talking to other women with similar problems (man only wants sex when/how he wants it, doesn't care for woman's needs) this has made me feel so much better. I only want sex in the context of a committed and loving relationship but when my drive spikes (often right before my period) I feel like just grabbing someone off the street lol. I now have a boyfriend and we are not having intercourse (this is my choice for spiritual reasons) but I am open to doing some things. But it's really intimidating to me because I realize now just how important sexual compatibility is and I don't know if we are well-matched. I've shared my feelings with him because I really care for him and I think I could fall in love with him. He says it won't be a problem but I don't trust that at this point. He's a guy so if it was going to be a problem he might not be able to admit it. Then there's the fact that my ex and a lot of the recalcitrant husbands I hear about were all about lots of sex until they felt they 'had' the woman and that's when interest waned. I'm afraid that's what will happen with him but I'm really trying not to let my fears get in the way of what could be a really good thing. But even if it doesn't work out with him I'm so glad to know there are other women who understand what I'm going through. I don't feel like such a nympho freak now!

Moni I can commiserate. My ex was into porn but not interested in sex with me most of the time, and we would go weeks without making love. Of course when he did want to have sex he got upset if I wasn't screaming at the ceiling in minutes. I wish I knew something to help you but I don't . Of course, he was in his 20s so his thing was more that since he knew he could have me he didn't want me....until I divorced him. Now, he'd love to get in my pants lol.

[kat24]

I am soo happy I found this post as I have a huge problem that is negatively affecting my life in so many ways and would love input and advice from other women out there!

I am a 24 year old female and have a very high sex drive. The problem is I am not in a relationship and able to get that need fulfilled whenever I like. SO, what ends up happening is I start dating a guy and have sex with him way too soon because I want it so bad and can't seem to control my body in the heat of the moment. I want a real relationship, but I seem to be self sabatoging myself everytime. After dating and having sex that emotional attachment is formed and I am hurt and heartbroken every time because I am not taken seriously or I end up handling the situation "too emotionally" or I am used for only a friends with benefits situation because I am only looked at as the girl to have sex with. : (

The logical answer would be to stop having sex too soon......but I feel like I have NO control over my own body when it comes to this. I tell myself I'm not going to and I always seem to end up lying to myself. My self-esteem has reached an all time low because of this. It's like I have a teenage boys libido or something. What do I do? What can I do to take control over my body?

[waya]

I'm so sorry sweetie I can totally understand what you're saying but I can't really be satisfied without a strong emotional connection so that helps me control myself. Still, there are times when I feel my control might slip so I have other little safeguards in place. Small things, y'know, like not shaving my legs that day lol, or wearing granny panties, or not carrying protection with me (though this only works because I need a certain kind of condom that's harder to find because I'm allergic to others.) Or just knowing that the sex would have to be really awesome to make up for the way I feel after giving in and the average man just wouldn't be able to live up to that. I can say that a really good toy, investing can be worth it, and some really good erotica can help you take the edge off.

[Jimbeau]

I am soo happy I found this post as I have a huge problem that is negatively affecting my life in so many ways and would love input and advice from other women out there!

Well not a woman here but one thing I wonder about is whether this may be due to your body chemistry being a bit out of whack. I don't mean that derogatorily because as someone who has battled depression in the past I have first hand experience with the impact low seratonin levels can have on turning your sex drive into sex overdrive. It boosted mine to the point where it was interfering somewhat with my normal activities. After treating it with anti-depressants my drive returned to its previous pretty average level. You might want to have a discussion about this with your health care provider.

[southernnellie]

Just read....

Of course check with a specialist but I too had a high sex drive and my husband has a very, very low sex drive.... so I started taking saw palmetto every other day and my sex drive has decreased enough but not too much...Just something to look into but it really seemed to work for me!

[Moni306]

Well it has been a while since I have been back but here I am again! My drive is still as high as ever but looking to lower it if anyone knows a way? My husband still isn't really interested in sex with me and we are now to the point of sex together only once a week and the past few months when we do...he doesn't look at me anymore and closes his eyes and it really makes me feel bad...I am to the point I want to lower it so I don't need as much..toys get old and inpersonal...I like the feel and touch of a man. For a while I did follow him on the net and found the still about 10 to 15 minutes after I left...most days but always Mondays he would hit the internet...I feel as if he is saying "thank God she is finally gone I can now go find some young hot chicks to look at and get off"...I always leave on Mondays feeling like I'm some groody woman than he only has sex with once a week out "obligation" and then I feel he is removing himself from the situation by not looking at me or closing his eyes...I wonder what fantasy he is thinking of to get "through" it! I then in turn try to be as quick as can as don't want to be a bother.

I don't consider myself extremely overweight or ugly...I'm 5'4 and 145lbs...can still fit in a size 8 sometimes 6 depending on size. Have a little bit of a belly. I just don't understand...I thought guys would rather have a real woman than porn and themselves??

I tried to not complain hoping this would help but to no avail over a year or so later here I still am!! I'm hoping everyone else out there is having allot more fun with their high drives...I wish I was and am afraid it may endanger our relationship :0(

[Tommister]

Reverse the Sexes and you have........Me

Wow. I hope no one is offended that I am reading and posting here. I am a married man. I was searching the internet for ways to decrease my drive and found this wonderful website. I am going to see if there is an equivalent one for men! But as I read this post I,

a) was amazed by the fact that there are so many woman that feel exactly the same way I do and are in the same situation that I am in with my wife. Only, I am the one with drive in the stratosphere.
b) became incredibly aroused by realizing there are so many woman out there that I could be compatible with regard to wearing out chandeliers!!
c) am left longing to be with someone, with whom, we could wear each other out.

I am on my second marriage. My first wife became so frigid that when I pried open her legs semi-annually a little light came on! I knew I had to leave or I would never be happy.

I met my new wife in 1995 and have been married for 13 years. I thought I found the one in terms of drive and was set for life. We had twins (now almost 13), we put on weight, she more than me, she swears she is going into menopause (she is 49 so could be peri-menopause). She is not happy with her self and does not take care of herself (doesn't shave her legs, no make-up, goes days without showers, wears soiled clothes). I'm getting turned off typing this but you know what? I love her and am totally attracted to her.

We have had an imbalance for years and have fallen into the rut of me groveling, hinting, and not so subtle tactics like showing up into a room naked and fully aroused with a "surprise!". She performs because she thinks it's here duty or that if she doesn't, I will fool around with someone else. She even says after I get off things like "fell better? now leave me alone for a month." Really make a man feel great. When I convince her that we should make love, it's always the same. I give her oral and she is blown away with a mind numbing, body convulsing orgasm. I am caring, loving attentive and know what I am doing, possibly because I love giving oral so so much. I think about it daily and crave it always and getting aroused typing this! Once she is semi composed, she presents doggy style (no not the usual "I sit-up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead"!! kind of doggy style that we typically do).

So today, I said I am making an appointment with the doctor and see if he can prescribe something to lower my libedo. She absolutely freaked out saying "what is that comment supposed to mean? It's the way you go about saying things, it's pathetic" I said I am just trying to help find a solution to the disparity between our drives and that I didn't mean for it to hurt her or make her feel more guilty" She phoned me at work still totally ****ed off, saying she didn't want to be married and that she doesn't want to be around me and the weekend plans to take the kids to a movie/dinner for their birthday with friends is off for her, that she would help drive them there and then go by herself to a bar. She is into race horses, so suggested that I ask the doctor about getting gelded. (removing the testicles!) Nice. Oh then she suggested I need to seek some mental help. Nice²

I am so weepy and on the verge of a full blown cry at work. I am so depressed about this. Yet I am still horny! I can't win.

I did find out that there are drugs that can lower drive for men, but they come with huge side effect/health risks such as liver toxicity, failure and death! I am not willing to go there.

In my male fantasy mind, I just want to meet some woman like you guys and get busy on the side. But in reality, I know that morally I couldn't live with myself. I have the classic devil (who's a blond woman in a latex red outfit and a whip) on my right shoulder and an angel (who, for some reason is also a woman, in a shear white flowing gown and a red rose in her hand on my left shoulder.
Any thoughts what the heck I should do would be most appreciated.

Tom

[LanaBear]

Wow. I hope no one is offended that I am reading and posting here. I am a married man. I was searching the internet for ways to decrease my drive and found this wonderful website. I am going to see if there is an equivalent one for men!

Tom... No need to find the male equivalent of this forum. We have many many regular posters that are male here, so I'm sure you will fit right in. Some have even gone through what you are going through and may also give you their .02. We all enjoy having the opinion of the opposite sex, so stick around, you will be fine here.

Besides there is a male equivalent of this forum called Mens-Health (the link is at the bottom of this forum) and frankly it sucks. It's spamorama over there and we've made attempts to revive it many times, so you may as well just make yourself at home here.

Welcome.