[miffed23]

After reading a thread someone said a woman or a man who doesn't want or need sex is because of bad sex.What would be considered bad sex? I thought a woman is cerebral therefore bad sex equals bad everthing else? Take me on a Magical Mystery tour.

In my opinion bad sex can start even before the sex begins. Let me elaborate... if a woman isnt really in the mood for reasons such as not enough foreplay, feeling self-conscious - it just then turns into sex thats 'going through the motions' and that to me equals bad sex. For sex to be good, ive got to be feeling good,sexy,hot about myself..then its really really gooooodddd sex

[Mourningman]

So as a guy how much of this "feeling good" can we be expected to help you all out with? 40 %?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So as a guy how much of this "feeling good" can we be expected to help you all out with? 40 %?

How about 50/50.

If a woman doesn't take the time herself to feel "sexy" add the lipstick, fix her hair, and feel good most of the time, of course no makeup and bedroom hair is nice, or relaxing on a weekend, i'm just saying overall, but if she doesn't over all then how can she look in the mirror daily and feel sexy.

Equally, if a man doesn't smell good, look good, hair everywhere, shorts and tank top all the time, he's not going to be attractive very often.

I always got a shock when my guy dressed up for instance and thought wow you look good, sets of that sexual thought as well.

In bed? Well it's not 50/50, i'll do this bit now you do that bit and then i'll relieve.

I think the more you do to a woman, the longer you do it to her, the more "animal" comes out of her and then she "wants" to do things back and then the end is explosive.

There it may be 100%, well!!!!!!

Bad sex, is 2 minutes down there, a quick kiss before and then straight in, cause your wet enough ahhhh... So we lay there and go yep, okay hurry up.

I remember (once) where i was in a new relationship but he was way younger so i ended it. But he would spend so long on "me" that that is exactly what i did, became an animal jumped on top of him and did it my way I will never ever forget the look on his face. And, no one has ever been able to do that again, because they never tried, and i never suggested, including my ex-husband, because as a woman, i wasn't bold enough to, they should know and as a man, they just expected that you should get of with that think inside of you full stop....

Strange world, just glad i woke up !!!!



CW

[miffed23]

Yup, total agreement with CW. Its got to be a bit of action from the man, and bit from the woman... 50/50 you might say, but the more a man does, the more the woman looses control. It really is that simple , well sort of.... do men not recognise when the women whom theyre making love to, changes, so to speak....becomes more "animal" like? That'll be, more likely than not, down to what you are doing to her.

So, in short, the more you turn your lady on, the more she will be willing to do? Right ladies, or not?
Much love, Miffed.

[Mourningman]

It ills me to read that. Knowing that all offers I make all advances techniques I am willing to try is shunned.I guess if I made mo money that would change the equation.

[Hystorm]

It ills me to read that. Knowing that all offers I make all advances techniques I am willing to try is shunned.I guess if I made mo money that would change the equation.

I feel for you brother...I went through a period with the wife like that.
It was a chemical imbalance with her after our last child ( and perm last as I have been snipped after that experience)
luckily, she got some help with meds and it went away. There is this cream, I forget what it’s called, but it has testosterone or something in it. Suddenly, we were having sex every day! She had to stop using it though as she started to become very nasty to the kids!
Knowing that a small amount of testosterone can do that to a women...just think ladies what it like to be a guy who has a full load of testosterone 24/7!

[Fallen1]

I said before on another older thread that I wondered if there really was such a thing as bad sex/someone being good or not. Is it really bad or is it the fact that the two people involved don't "connect" or have the same interests etc.

Earlier in this thread I posted what I thought was bad sex. It was for me, but what about a woman who really has no interest in sex? It might be good enough for her.

Now I have good sex, even my guy has said that it is the best part of our relationship. Maybe our tastes just mesh and if we were with someone who didn't have similar taste and or turn ons it would be considered no good for them.

......... just a thought.

[FeelingLost]

I have been married for 18months but with my DH for over 6 years.

The first 6 months the sex was just ok but since then I have hated having sex with him.

I love my DH and have kids and wouldnt think of leaving him but I do miss having great sex.

I was a swinger before we met and I can be pretty wild in the sex department but these days I just seem to lay there, he jumps on does his thing and rolls over and goes to sleep.

At times he does try to please me but most times he gives me a quick up and expects me to be ready.

I have seen a couple of guys while I have been with my DH but they turned out to be duds.

I crave sex so much and want a great sex life again but find whatever my DH does, he hurts me more then pleasures.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I said before on another older thread that I wondered if there really was such a thing as bad sex/someone being good or not. Is it really bad or is it the fact that the two people involved don't "connect" or have the same interests etc.

Earlier in this thread I posted what I thought was bad sex. It was for me, but what about a woman who really has no interest in sex? It might be good enough for her.

Now I have good sex, even my guy has said that it is the best part of our relationship. Maybe our tastes just mesh and if we were with someone who didn't have similar taste and or turn ons it would be considered no good for them.

......... just a thought.

I've re-read that three times..... If i look at my ex-husband he was obviously either non-confident, non-experienced, or non-committal, which of the 3 i don't know. But our beginning like all i ever knew was "adventure" out on the back patio table, neighbours type of thing, excitement.... But once married? He would make me feel well, i was experienced as such, and he would always smile, laugh and do, ???? Um, okay, so i was never turned on, didn't want to go there, down there stuff, as i could not be me, sensual, sexual... Explore... Anything... SO i agree, if your not matched in that department then your not matched.

I was always interested but as i said, it was that i felt i couldn't give because maybe i would be forseen as a ........... especially when i bought home Woman's Weekly and he would look at the cover and say ah they are all................ which i never heard until married.

My NOW man, well i can not explain... Everything i have read here he does, says, explains to me, and has opened me up like a "flower"....

So it's hard i think, we can be that animal, we can comprehend the words with visualisation and desire and want, but if it is not in her, then she can't, if it is not in him, then he can't....

So it is i believe as much as it is "mind attracts mind" sexual partners equal the same, and attract...

You can not change anyone if what they believe they believe, you can open a person up if she/he is wanting to know more....

It is hard.

I am happy.

I will never look for anything less now....

CW

[soldatka]

Inconsiderate sex is bad sex. Every time. When a guy doesn't bother to get you warmed up, won't do the things that please you, tries to do things that he KNOWS definitely don't please you, rolls over and snores straight afterwards...that's all pretty bad. Thankfully my guy does none of these things!