[jns]

Do you like getting oral or masturbation slow or fast from your partner? How about your past partners? What does your partner like? How about your past partners?

Do some people misread their partners and try to be too fast or too slow?

[jns]

In general, I have found that the women I have given oral to prefer the tongue action be on the slow side. The same holds true for the few I have masturbated with the additional requirement of a very light touch. A bit of speeding up at climax is OK but too much is less desirable. Maybe it has something to do with sensation overload / biological fatigue.

I wrote the questions in such a way that they work for both fellatio and cunnilingus so that both can be answered about.

[atskitty2]

Interesting topic, and timing, for the post, jns. I will certainly he posting more about this, and seeking some advice and thoughts from you all as well.
In short, I think slow and steady wins the race.

[effy2014]

In my experience, the speed, motions and pressure for cunilingus varies by individual. I have found that rhythm is most important. For my SO, most anything seems to work in the build up stages, both before and after an orgasm, so I mix it up. Once she is close, the rhythm needs to be constant and the motion consistent (whatever at that moment is working for her) until she cums.

[chaya]

I've never experienced oral from my husband. My girlfriend seems to read my mind and do what it takes to drive me crazy. This is slow or fast at what seems like just the right time.

[Texasred45]

Slow to begin with, then faster as her orgasm approaches, and a steady rhythm too. For my GF, that is.
My wife simply doesn't like oral at all, and when I bring her to orgasm with my hand, then the evening is over: once she reaches orgasm, she's ready to turn over and go to sleep immediately.

[Motorguy]

Well for me and Donna this is are warm up. But we both love oral as we are both never in a hurry with it. So its all good with us. What ever way she does it I love it mostly it's slow and long it just better that way for me. I agree with Kitty with that statement.

[atskitty2]

Your last question is most interesting to me, about misreading.
In my new relationship, we're waiting to have sex, but things have moved past just kissing. If you recall from my other post, the kissing was all wrong in the beginning, and now it is fine. It's quite passionate actually.

I'm also finding myself turned off with his sexual mannerisms as we move fwd. He is a very mild mannered, soft spoken and even tempered man, but when we begin kissing and touching each other, he turns into a frenzied, out of rhythm kind of lover. I am really struggling to calm down the twitching, almost seizure-like motions that are incredibly distracting.
Not trying to be funny...but I have giggled at it a time or two. I have never experienced a man behave this way. It has me confused and I have no idea what to think or do.
I have tried to take charge of it and show him what I like, and try to accommodate what he likes. I talked to him about it less directly, and that left me discouraged, because he really seems to prefer these jerky, fast, stop and go motions...and endless chattering, so his voice is also quivering and interrupted.

I am so disheartened. Things have only advanced to this point 3 times, so I have plenty of opportunities to work on it.
I don't really think I can satisfy him. I can not believe that I can ever learn how to make love that way.
Now, that much I was bluntly honest about. I told him I'm having doubts about our physical compatibility both in style and frequency needs.

So, I guess to elaborate on your question, can we really alter our styles and preferences where speed and timing are concerned?

[Motorguy]

That sound very unorthodox Kitty of this practice. I trying to figure out what your boy friend is doing with the twisting and jerking is he doing this in heavy petting and kissing. I think that would kind of be a turn off for me. Love making should be relaxing and very tenderly not fast movements just very lay back along with be very passionate as well.

[jns]

So, I guess to elaborate on your question, can we really alter our styles and preferences where speed and timing are concerned?

I believe we can, if we have good reason to and spend the time making a new habit to satisfy our partner. Generally, two weeks of doing something continuously will start to develop a new habit, or so I've read in self help books. If the action is less continuous, more time will be required.

As for you satisfying him, it may take some time and effort to change his preferred style. Remember that it is most likely a habit reinforced by years of repetition. If you present it as something that will help in the relationship, he should be willing to give it a go. The only question is if he will commit long enough to make a difference.

You might want to be more direct. Guys generally don't do hints very well.