[LilahX]

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Hi - I'm a writer who sometimes writes about sex and I've been wondering what people see/define as 'hardcore sex' and what your thoughts are about it. Looking forward to hearing what you have to say. Thanks.

[raindancer]

I don't think anything of it. People like to label stuff and act as if we were living in a black and white world.

My world is colorful.

[JonDoe]

Opinions will vary widely. When I was with my wife of 25+ years, she strongly believed anything beyond vaginal intercourse was outside the norm. She once told me that most wives do not wear stockings for their husbands, despite women's lingerie being a billion dollar industry. Her idea of dressing up in something sexy was to put on a silk robe that her brother gave her nearly 30 years ago. So for someone like her, oral sex is probably hard-core.

[LilahX]

Personally I agree Raindancer. One person's normal is anothers 'hardcore' but I'm interested in what people consider as not normal.

[Lexhill]

Depends in what way you wanna use it. In my own sexuality I do not use hardcore but fetish as a way to refer to act's that many people would look at as weird or unusual. When it comes to porn I would say anything that penetrates.

So for me it depends in what context you are looking to place it in.

[JonDoe]

Navy Seal training, MMA fighting, and fishing the Bering Sea are hard-core. Competing in an Iron-Man or the Tour de France is hard-core. Climbing Mount Everest or one of the other major mountain ranges of the world is also hard-core. To me, it is a combination of the extreme intensity, near limitless endurance, and unwavering dedication that makes something hard-core.

Thus it is difficult to imagine hard-core sex based solely on the type of action, which I assume is the intent of your question. Anything I can immediately think of related to sex between consenting adults is either natural, normal, or a fetish, unless taken to an extreme. However, there are lots of so called fetishes that I have no intention nor desire to ever try, nor are they part of my fantasies. I guess in my view it only becomes hard-core when taken to an extreme.

[tinyclitt]

Are you defining "hard-core" as anything you consider "unusual?" If so, I think that's an unusual definition. I know what "hard-core porn" is, it's just anything that shows penetration (is not soft-core). I go by the porn definition. Hard-core is just penetration. Pretty silly too as by that just about everything is hard-core. It's really only useful as a comparison to soft-core. Soft-core can literally put one to sleep it's so boring.

In my mind a fetish is just something one needs rather than wants and a kink is just something one wants rather than needs. Neither one needs to be "hard-core."

[raindancer]

'Not normal' is easier to define. For me, everything involving only consenting adults is normal, and all the rest is not normal.

[effy2014]

I don't think we have helped LilahX much at all. With the caveat, as has been explained in the posts, that "hardcore" depends upon the person and audience, the term would imply something significantly more extreme then vanilla penetration. Examples for me would be bondage and physical force (i.e. the 50 Shades series), a master/slave relationship, a dominatrix with her sub, the use of various BDSM gear (especially those involving pain), a woman with multiple sex partners at one time (including double penetration) and anything involving sex with extended family members. There are many more, I am sure. Just look at descriptions in various porn videos and you will see lots of "extreme" behaviors not involving Navy Seal Training.

[PandaB87]

I don't think we have helped LilahX much at all. With the caveat, as has been explained in the posts, that "hardcore" depends upon the person and audience, the term would imply something significantly more extreme then vanilla penetration. Examples for me would be bondage and physical force (i.e. the 50 Shades series), a master/slave relationship, a dominatrix with her sub, the use of various BDSM gear (especially those involving pain), a woman with multiple sex partners at one time (including double penetration) and anything involving sex with extended family members. There are many more, I am sure. Just look at descriptions in various porn videos and you will see lots of "extreme" behaviors not involving Navy Seal Training.

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Best advice is right there.

But you certainly seemed to start a great, philosophical discussion!