Essentially, hardcore sex refers to rough or aggressive sex, including BDSM (Bondage-Discipline, Dominance-Submission, Sadism-Masochism) acts like hair pulling, choking, slapping, biting, bondage, and even inflicting pain with toys.
Although the idea of rough or intentionally painful or aggressive sex can be a bit intimidating if you’ve never dipped a toe in such kinky waters, 69% of the general population fantasizes about engaging in BDSM sex.
Even so, the phrase “hardcore sex” remains somewhat difficult to define because it can encompass a wide variety of sexual behaviors — and determining whether these acts are “hardcore” can be subjective.
The type of sex you consider to be cops-are-gonna-get-a-noise-complaint freaky-deaky, someone else may feel is nothing more than standard vanilla, Tuesday night, keep-your-socks-on lovin’.
Other terms for hardcore sex include: aggressive sex, rough sex, violent sex, kink, and of course, BDSM.
No matter what you call it, hardcore sex doesn’t just happen on a whim.
There are consensual boundaries that should be agreed upon beforehand — and strictly followed — when you’re getting down and dirty with a partner.
If you’ve been daydreaming about getting a little naughtier between the sheets, you’re in the right place!
In this article, we’ll talk about:
What Exactly Is Hardcore Sex?
After that somewhat general definition above, you may be asking yourself what types of sexual exploits fall under the umbrella of hardcore sex.
As it turns out, there are many facets to aggressive whoopee.
Hardcore sex may include:
- Spanking
- Slapping or hitting
- Biting
- Hair-pulling
- Name-calling and dirty talk
- Rough or forceful motions
- Scratching
Extreme hardcore sex may include:
Of course, all of these acts can be performed with varying degrees of intensity.
For instance, bondage could involve having your hands tied loosely to the headboard with a silken scarf — or being hogtied with a stiff rope until you’re rendered completely immobile.
Scratching, hitting, hair-pulling, and biting can all have a range of severity based on the amount of force used during the acts.
Even dirty talk can vary from playfully frisky to absolutely degrading.
With this in mind, hardcore sex can be as rough as you want it to be — as long as there is consent between partners.
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Why Do People Like Rough Sex, Anyway?
People enjoy hardcore sex and BDSM for many different reasons, as is the case with other kinks, fetishes, or preferences.
For one thing, it can be exciting to engage in an activity that is considered to be taboo or off-limits by society-at-large.
BDSM used to be classified as a sexual disorder or sexual deviation and today, those who belong to that community are still subjected to a lot of stigma and discrimination because of their sexual preferences.
Some people enjoy the adrenaline or thrill that they experience when incorporating pain or aggression into their sexual relations.
As it turns out, they might be onto something. Studies have linked elevated adrenaline with increased attraction to your partner.
Other folks simply want to let go of their inhibitions and allow their animal instincts to take over — or to become a heightened version of themselves through the process.
However, some people who engage in hardcore sex and BDSM seek something that is the exact opposite of who they are in their day-to-day lives.
For instance, a person who is in charge of everything at work could get really turned on by the complete loss of control while being dominated in the bedroom.
People enjoy hardcore sex for a variety of different reasons and as long as no one is being hurt unwillingly, there’s no reason to avoid exploring the world of BDSM if that’s what you’re into.
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How Can I Start Exploring Hardcore Sex Myself?
Now that we know why men and women enjoy hardcore sex, what should you do if you’re interested in trying out a little freaky fornication yourself?
If you think you’re ready to have hardcore sex or explore BDSM, the very first step is communication.
Despite the stigma, BDSM demands an extremely healthy relationship because it requires so much trust and a willingness to listen to your partner.
Rough sex isn’t an indicator of an abusive relationship; men and women initiate it equally.
Before doing anything, take some time to make sure you know what your boundaries are and that your partner understands them — and vice versa.
You may even want to decide on a safeword together — a generic word or phrase that signals when one person wants to stop an activity in its tracks.
During hardcore sex, words like “no” or “stop” might be part of the act — feigned resistance can be a real turn-on in the heat of the moment.
A safeword like “bookshelf” or “popcorn” indicates that a boundary is being crossed and a partner wants to stop the action — for real.
In the very beginning, you might try starting slow with some hair-pulling or gentle biting to see what you’re comfortable with.
Most importantly, do some research before jumping straight in and make sure that all partners agree on what’s going to happen beforehand.
Bottom Line:
Hardcore sex may have a dangerous reputation but the real thing involves a great deal of trust and communication.
Stigmas aside, many people are curious about getting a little spicy in the sack.
Once you learn the ropes — pun intended — you’ll be ready to attempt some hardcore sex with a responsible partner.
After all, you know what they say: “No pain, no gain!”
