[cathygirl]

A man cannot read a woman's mind. If a woman is afraid or otherwise unwilling to tell him what feels good to her, how can he know? Expecting a man to "just know" what you want is unrealistic and puts all the pressure on him. It relieves you of any responsibility for your own sexual response. Only you can contemplate why you are doing that.

You need to work on you first, not your husband. Unless he is an ogre that doesn't car about you or your needs and desires, which doesn't come across in your post, then I think you are your own worst enemy. Are you embarrassed to talk about sex with your husband? Some women are. Even then, you can guide his hand, or guide his mouth, or get on top and guide the rubbing and thrusting, or what ever it is that you want to get you aroused and over the top. What if the two of you masturbated together to show each other what felt good? Would that open doors, or is that too scarey? Somehow you're going to have to get out of your comfort zone, I think, and do something that might scare you. Or not. It's your marriage, but not forever unless you deal with this.

[mysticfire]

Thank you Lexhill and Cathygirl. Very good points to ponder.

[Texasred]

A man cannot read a woman's mind. If a woman is afraid or otherwise unwilling to tell him what feels good to her, how can he know? ....Somehow you're going to have to get out of your comfort zone, I think, and do something that might scare you. Or not. It's your marriage, but not forever unless you deal with this.

Cathy, your entire post (NOT just what I quoted here) should be bookmarked somehow and should be required reading for ANYone having relationship problems!
There is so much truth and wisdom in those few words!