[Uneeklyme]

sometimes it just is...

Lets face it. Porn will always be around and debated. Sex is everywhere. Heck, I saw a commercial the other day that had a woman standing in just a towel in front of a steamy bathroom mirror with some seductive music in the background and the announcer going on with something about looking good blah blah blah... it was a freakin toilet paper commercial. Look in the walmart or target or other store fliers. Does the underwear section really need a two page spread of women modeling bras and panties? In line with that, where are the men modeling the underwear. Your hard pressed to find them in the same flier. Not porn I know but still suggestive and seductive. If we are having issues with our men looking then we should just poke their eyes out now.

On the other hand it has been suggested that some women watch porn because they are not good in bed. Rubbish. Personally, I watch it because I like it. Its not about emulating a porn star so I can be a porn star with my mate. I had anal sex and liked it before I ever watched porn so the idea for that didn't come from there. It's also not about figuring out ways to keep a man or being frightened and scared to be independant. I didnt watch porn until after I left my husband and was single raising two children by myself and by my choice for a few years. There are instances where women will try to reinact what they see in a porn thinking it will please their man but again, it does not necessarily mean they are insecure or bad in bed or unable to be independant. Maybe they just like it. Maybe they are open minded enough to actually take an active role in finding new ways to please and be pleased. Not to say that porn is the only way to do this but it may be one way. Maybe at times it helps keep that constant state of sexuality (which I totally agree with) going.

It's not for everyone but some people do enjoy it in some ways sometimes.

[Private.Flangeamin]

hm...maybe.
I actually choose to trust what my partner is saying when he tells me something. In three years, his actions have not shown his words to be lies. Especially since in many of his favorite clips you cant even see the players faces. Also, most are amateur meaning real people/couples not paid to perform. His absolute favorite (mine too for that matter) you cant even see the man or the womans face or much of their bodies and there is no genital to genital contact during the whole clip. I am the one that reaps the benefit of him being turned on. The more he is turned on the more I get mine. I by no means think he is bored of me. We have different libidos sure but when he comes to me and holds me and kisses me and tells me how much he wants me...When he lets me know on a daily basis that he desires me and its through his actions as well as his words... Im sure he is sincere and not just some man pig out for a joy ride. I accept that.

The reason I hear/read more than any other about women not wanting their men to watch porn seems to be that they think they should be enough for their man. The one an only. Women don't like to think that something or someone else could possibly turn their men on. It COULD be jealousy. I understand the concept but dont understand how it comes to pass. A man is who he is regardless of his relationship status. He doesnt stop thinking and feeling how he does just because a woman comes into his life. It would seem that he opens himself up to accept his partner as his priority and revels in her above all others but it doesnt change the fact that he is who he is or was when he met his partner.

Even with this opinion, it doesnt change the fact that if porn or any other type of behavior is hurtful or offensive it should be discussed. Maybe, as suggest by others, there can be some kind of compramise or agreement reached. If its out of control or if it is interfering with life and relationship it should be treated. Lots of communication, maybe some therapy, things of this nature.

I commend the OP for taking time to think about it. Stepping back to cautiously watch and wait to see how things go. Sometimes the initial knee jerk reaction exacerbates what could be a minor sit down and talk about it bump in the road.

No ..its not maybe ...its yes and you say in the three years its not shown his actions to be lies...that dosent make sense ..the guy tried to justify it by saying oh im not thinking of them im thinking of you ...and you have chosen to accept that was the reason. his actions have not shown his words to be lies? well if you mean hes nstill sleeping with you why wouldnt he be ...he got the good deal porno and you accept that he still cares for you . Yep...think is you go on about not seeing the faces ect and real couples but as long as you accept that hes doing on his own which i dont see a problem with a guy doing it on his own. Yes and it is Jelousy as your post led me to believe that it dosent mean he dosent care for the person but hes fantasizing about other women men can physically go off a woman - ie they dont like her body or they are sick of banging the same old piece ...but they carnt say it to a woman can they. I wouldnt bother trying to analize your jelousy - if you saw a pretty woman walk past in the street and your guy looked at her ...its no point spending all day analizing WHY you felt jelous ...this seems like an insecurity issue .As i say before i have no problems with men masturbating watching porn with a woman AND AWAY from the partner as i think if a woman follows a man everywhere so he carnt fart unless shes checking up what hes doing , id be off ...couples are in your case am ones seem to suit the way you feel because they tend to have ALL body shapes !!!!!! the other type ...i figure you dont like him watching porno with good looking couple non am stuff and you wont let him see the face of the girl >>>STRANGE ....but if it makes you feel better

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Lets face it. Porn will always be around and debated. Sex is everywhere. Heck, I saw a commercial the other day that had a woman standing in just a towel in front of a steamy bathroom mirror with some seductive music in the background and the announcer going on with something about looking good blah blah blah... it was a freakin toilet paper commercial. Look in the walmart or target or other store fliers. Does the underwear section really need a two page spread of women modeling bras and panties? In line with that, where are the men modeling the underwear. Your hard pressed to find them in the same flier. Not porn I know but still suggestive and seductive. If we are having issues with our men looking then we should just poke their eyes out now.

On the other hand it has been suggested that some women watch porn because they are not good in bed. Rubbish. Personally, I watch it because I like it. Its not about emulating a porn star so I can be a porn star with my mate. I had anal sex and liked it before I ever watched porn so the idea for that didn't come from there. It's also not about figuring out ways to keep a man or being frightened and scared to be independant. I didnt watch porn until after I left my husband and was single raising two children by myself and by my choice for a few years. There are instances where women will try to reinact what they see in a porn thinking it will please their man but again, it does not necessarily mean they are insecure or bad in bed or unable to be independant. Maybe they just like it. Maybe they are open minded enough to actually take an active role in finding new ways to please and be pleased. Not to say that porn is the only way to do this but it may be one way. Maybe at times it helps keep that constant state of sexuality (which I totally agree with) going.

It's not for everyone but some people do enjoy it in some ways sometimes.

Perhaps you just hit a "nail on the head" " OPEN MINDED" if we even venture into "relationships/dating" if the woman is Open Minded she gives her thread and opinon and most say, good for you for thinking that way... If she continues down the road of destruction, i checked this, that, i'm trying he said he'd give me another chance, perhaps she is closed minded?

Interesting........

I tried Anual sex with my first boyfriend and i recall it being of some exotic nature but it hurt the shirt out of me, so never tried it again...

With me, i never say never however.

Porn, having watched it now, showed me something very enlightening.

Don't say "Gross" but it showed me that there is nothing wrong with a way a woman looks down there, open for the world to see ( the man) it's not as bad as i thought, we all actually look the same and it isn't a bad look. So that little no inhibition woman that i have become is now even more so not concerned at all, as i imagine if a man likes foreplay there for ( more thank god than 1 minute or 3) then he has seen it before we look the same, it's quite an erotic look, now that i can compare... Now how's that for opening up? Not literally ( men it's still a woman's forum) if you read that sorry. Fortunately you don't know who CW is

Uneeklyme
There are instances where women will try to reinact what they see in a porn thinking it will please their man but again, it does not necessarily mean they are insecure or bad in bed or unable to be independant.

Well yes they do, but i still think it's out of insecurity or wanting to show their worth, they are good, stay, insecurity.. And sometimes, it's just the "ANIMAL" i can do approach got a problem with that, i am woman". So, the last bit is independant and the first bit is in "my opinion" insecurity".. Especially if they have not let go and have not allowed themselves to have no inhibitions? They will try to Please....

Well have to disagree when " i have a different opinion"

Who knows however.

For instance, i mentioned food in my last post to you....

I can cut octopus for instance and it is slimy a few inches thick and long.

Guess what runs through my mind?

That's not a woman with insecurity, hense why i can play with my man and not worry, so to speak......

I think i wrote somewhere recent " Look in the mirror, he picked you came back to you, it's YOU he wants" why be jealous.

What a horrid existance to hold that within... LET IT GO, i say, there's no room for it in a loving relationship or any... It will manifest 10 fold and beat you every time.

Mmm...

CW