[DreamP346]

There have been research that shows women are more attracted to the bad boy during ovulation, but the good guy at other times.

I think the concept that women are more attracted to the bad boy over the good guy is a huge generalization. I have found that this concept is often perpetuated by boys/men who don't get the girl/woman they want. These guys also self label as "good guy" which is an extremely biased opinion. Also, just because they are "good" on the outside, doesn't make them good relationship material at all. I dated a "good guy" that I eventually dumped. As "nice" as he was, he was not going anywhere is life and had no ambitions.

[muffin70]

doesn't work in my marriage.... if I was a bad boy, rude, obnoxious....etc... my wife wouldn't have a bar of it
If she went out to meet friends or something and I sat at home and watched TV or went on the computer - while there were dishes to be done, lawns to be mowed...etc... then she'd be a little mad / upset with me if I'd not done those tasks..... whereas if I had mowed the lawns, tidied the kitchen, folded the washing, done some vacuuming...etc... then she'd be very happy and more likely to want to have sex than if I just sat down and done nothing all afternoon....

[rcoreyus]

My situation has been different. When I'm good to my wife, do chores at home, and as always my job at work, she has very little desire to have sex with me. The few times (in >20 years) that I've let her know how frustrated I was with the lack of sex and she got the idea that I might not stay, sex improved dramatically for a few months. I get the very unfortunate impression that if I told her I wanted sex X times a month or I'm leaving, it would work, but simply being a good husband doesn't.

I'm not going to insist on sex (or leave), that isn't what I want, but it is frustrating that doing what should be the right things doesn't work. From other discussions, it seems that men who do "insist" (not force, but anger or threat of leaving) on sex get it - though their wives are unhappy about it.

I don't think its just me, I see this pattern in multiple discussions.

In then end I want to have sex *with* my wife, not get sexual service from her, but that doesn't seem to happen much.

[Stillness]

Corey, I feel you, brother. I thought things had improved with you, though.

[rcoreyus]

Corey, I feel you, brother. I thought things had improved with you, though.

Long time constants. If I talk to her, things get better for a few months then decline. Gone through 3 cycles of that now and pretty much given up. I can make her unhappy and she will have sex more often - really not what I want.

[muffin70]

I've let my wife know that I'm frustrated in the lack of sexual activity between us.... but she makes excuses like "we go to bed too late" or "I'm not a morning person"....but if I do things for her without having to be nagged that usually puts her in a good mood for sex..... but my point is I shouldn't have to do things like that so get her in the mood for sex

[atskitty2]

To turn things a bit, what about the "bad girls" vs good girls? <br />
I was at the market today, and an observation made me think about this. <br />
First, I was cruising down an aisle, and noticed a man glaring at me. His woman, presumed wife, slapped his arm, and pointed her finger at him. I was taken aback.<br />
Later, in the checkout lane, this woman was, in my opinion humiliating the man, as she loudly proclaimed his failure to bring the grocery bags from home, as she'd told him to do. He made some comment, I couldn't hear, and she rambled on something about how he never does as he's told.<br />
<br />
In my mind, I was hoping there was some dom/sub play going on between them, and nobody would behave in such ways publicly without some benefit to be had. <br />
<br />
Nice guys finish last? Do good girls finish last? <br />
<br />
<br />
And to comment further from last night, as I was losing consciousness, lol, I think sometimes we just want the bad boy image, or the potential for a bad boy. <br />
Sometimes I think that was one of the attractions to my ex husband. He was a good guy, but fiercely protective of his family and friends, & had been known to fight on occasion in years past, tho he'd never started one, that I am aware of. He was a badass but gentle until it was necessary to show some muscle. <br />
<br />
I think that's my unevolved self peeking through. I want to feel safe with a guy. I think I'd have a difficult time respecting a man who wouldn't stand up for himself or his family. So, it's a bad boy, but he isn't really *bad*.<br />
<br />
So, gentleman of whf, the bad girl/good girl? What's your thought?

[jns]

Think about the woman that catches everybody's eye when she walks into the room, who practically has a sign over her head that reads "trouble." Some guys would avoid her like the plague. Others would break their necks to get with her.

I've never really gone after a bad girl. I have never seen a relationship with one as something I wanted. Too much drama. Too much uncertainty. A good girl that sometimes has a streak of dangerous is much better.

[Lexhill]

I would go for the good girl all day long. I do not need the drama of a bad girl. But i'd like my good girl to be naughty. Good at heart but affectionate and sexual. I don't play dominant/slave games well. I do mutual respect and care.

But then again I'm not sure if I catogorize the same way as others. In my mind being lazy has nothing to do with being good or bad, it's more how you treat others around you. And in a relationship being there to help each other. However someone refusing to do any chores does not fit into a "good" partners catogory, because they do not try to help out.

DreamP346 does mention the self labeled "Good guy", I'm so glad as for me i've seen so many guys I would not put in that catagory, that places them selfs there. In my opinion there are way to many out there who is just playing a game instead of being all around good guys. I can't blame them thought, It's often the fast track to friends zone if you don't.

Myself I meet my wife when i started to don't care about girls because I got burned to many times. So I figured out one day that it was not worth it, I would just focus on my career instead.

Just to be clear I don't put my self in either catagory.

[DreamP346]

I think there is a difference in appearance versus actual good/bad. Men usually want good women who are "bad" in the bedroom. But that isn't really bad. They are just more sexually aware, aggressive, open, etc. That is not bad at all. Women want men who look bad, like riding a bike, wearing a leather jacket, etc. But they want somebody who treats them well and is a good person at heart. So basically, man and women want good partners.