[Kittie0251]

yes i do care about having an orgasm...i can see how your boyfriend cares as well..just think if you gave him oral in return and never pleased him..that wouldnt make you feel to good..

[Happy1]

Wow. I hoestly do not understand. Can I ask u, do you care about anything else...things like if he says he loves you before he hangs up, or does he help you with things around the house, or do you want displays of affection from him? To me, if orgasm isnt something that you crave, someone isnt doing something right.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Anon
Anyway, it sounds like you need to break up and find someone who doesn't like sex, like you, otherwise he's just going to be an unhappy bunny for the rest of his life, and you wouldn't want that would you?

There are guys out there who dislike/are bored of sex, honestly it's cruel for you to stay with someone who does, by the sounds of it.

You know, you are totally within your rights to not feel that he wants to "control you", and it's your decision whether you do or not....

But.................. i'm not into selfishness, that being that there is another party involved whether you realise that or not and that party is feeling pretty low, he gets his rocks of but you don't... He probably wonders if it's him, you can be damaging him physcologically if you don't work out together for his next partner, unless she's a she-devil then he'd be wondering why he missed out on the totality of "intimacy" with his previous partner, you.

Relationships entered into are about giving and sharing, equality, trying, joining in on things that may not even be your favourite or taste but you do ( both of you ) because you love each other and compromise.

Intimacy is the foundation of a relationship... What you are explaining top 10, this is not even in the equation persay, is "friendship" with a form of bond.

You asked a question and people answer, it may not be what you want to hear but that is how they feel about it..

It's an equal street if it wasn't bothering him, he wouldn't bring up the topic would he? It's bothering him, not for control purposes, look a bit deeper and think of his thoughts, feelings not just yours in my opinion...

CW

[Uneeklyme]

Maybe think about it like this...

No matter what you do, he doesnt orgasm. He tells you he enjoys you but orgasm just isnt important. The sex act itself is enough. You try your best but no go, his indifference to orgasm would be frustrating and make you question yourself and your abilities. Insecurity would probably set in and eventually you would be questioning him... why doesnt it happen no matter what I do? Am I doing something wrong? Is it me?

[bluesapphire315]

My boyfriend loves to make me orgasm, and he does pretty much 98% of the time. The other 2% is a quickie and he makes up for it later.

Anyway, he wants you to orgasm because he wants to know that he is pleasing you. He wants to make you feel good with him. He wants you to be comfortable enough to let yourself go in front of him sexually. I know that my boyfriend and a good amount of men find their ability to get their woman off a big turn on. Your boyfriend might feel like he is failing you because he can't make you orgasm when he wants to make you feel beautiful and amazing. he may think that he is doing something wrong when he may not be. It could just be your lack of caring that makes almost like a mind block to having an orgasm. You won't have one if you aren't in the moment.

The fact that you said you don't care and don't want to work for it though show that you and your boyfriend have different feelings about sex. Is it just sex that you have different feelings about, or is it other things too? It's a two way street and both parties need to make an effort. Maybe you should sit down and figure it out so you both can see what is in your best interest as well as his.

[CEBOULD]

i see where you are coming from erotican and when i Begin having sex i did not know what all the hype was about and like after 3 years i had my first orgasm it was great i finally understood but i had orgasms with men who were bad for me but when i meet my first love i could not get one at all and now the guy i just broke up with who i wanted to spend my life with it happened sometimes in certain positions so i could not have one all time and he was like your boyfriend he felt it was a shot at his man hood if i didn't so i started to fake it even though if i had one good if i didn't that was OK two cause pleasing him was enough for me and i knew that i would have one at some point any way but i think after the years went by and he started to really pay attention while were having sex he Begin to notice the difference and i think that was a key factor in why we broke up he felt he could not satisfy me and that was not it my love for him was so deep that it didn't matter i just loved the way it felt while were doing it but men think that if you cant orgasm then they are not doing there job as a man and 90% of a relationship for man is the sex and even if he gets off its still not satisfying his ego which will lead him to cheating cause a man needs his ego stroked and if your not doing the stroking then some else will and eventually you will lose him to that someone you have to understand that men have small outlooks on relationships sex cooking cleaning and not that many arguments and if the sex is great then you can slack on the rest

[hello_pitty]

I do love having an orgasm. But sometimes I like to turn it around and watch HIM have an explosive orgasm (me on top).

But I think it's pretty selfish to not care about it. Either care about it or just don't do it! Find a man who wouldn't touch sex with a ten foot pole!! But you're making your current boyfriend suffer. It's like you cooking a fabulous meal for him that spent all day cooking and preparing and at the end he gets up and says "it was ok" then goes to bed!!!

Not everyone's relationship is based on this. Some are, but the ones that aren't, like mine, are strong relationships because we are equal 50/50 on this part. Not just one doing all the work and the other half asleep or on a different planet while it's happening!!!

You got to think of his happiness too you know. And if you don't care about his happiness then move on! Because there are an ample supply of young women, hot and ready to orgasm for him whenever he wants!!

[EroticanEllie]

I just wanted to say I appreciate everyone's response. It gave me a lot to think about, and I do think I am not being considerate. He wants to explore intimacy.

I'll probably be around a lot more checking things out.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Good for you.....



CW

[hello_pitty]

I just wanted to say I appreciate everyone's response. It gave me a lot to think about, and I do think I am not being considerate. He wants to explore intimacy.

I'll probably be around a lot more checking things out.

Good Job. I'm sure you'll learn a thing or two with us ladies here!!!