[brown magic]

Folks, i think the OP might be completely lacking in sexual experience, at least with another person in the room, and he was trying to gain a woman's perspective on the act itself, i.e., is it pleasurable? I know this may sound strange, but their are people/times/cultures where that is still a question.
And has he gotten an answer? Orher than mine, which is always suspect...

Yes you are correct. I have zero sexual experience (apart from watching porn, which I don't think *counts*). Presumably its pleasurable for women as there are many who are promiscuous and there must be some reason for that. But this article suggests that many women have uncomfortable or even painful experiences, especially in a casual sexual encounter. I would imagine sex is better for women in a long-standing relationship or marriage.

[amy40]

I would imagine sex is better for women in a long-standing relationship or marriage.

I can very occasionally still have pain like last time as husband was ready before me and well I want to take advantage when he's ready and despite lube it still hurt at first
I put our one and only movie on (Kama sutra) and wow he was ready so fast

he thought it was a new movie as we hadn't used for long time

[jns]

I can very occasionally still have pain like last time as husband was ready before me and well I want to take advantage when he's ready and despite lube it still hurt at first
I put our one and only movie on (Kama sutra) and wow he was ready so fast

he thought it was a new movie as we hadn't used for long time

This is important for men to know, that women in a long term stable relationship can experience pain if they are not ready when their partner is. A reason to make sure she is ready through foreplay.

[Texasred]

...I would imagine sex is better for women in a long-standing relationship or marriage.

And for men.
Sex is so very important that you want to have that with someone you love and trust.

[Stillness]

I don't see female pain being likened to the "ubiquitous cousin of male pleasure" as fitting of the sexual experience. I've only been in two long term sexual relationships, but my first never experienced any pain, that I remember. And she experienced a great deal of pleasure. It wasn't something she was just keeping quiet about either. I could barely keep up with her.

My wife does experience discomfort afterwards sometimes. She says that I've shifted her uterus. But it's not an agonizing pain. Certain types of foreplay can also leave her raw. But the experience is very pleasurable for her.

In fact, if anyone is lacking in the foreplay, it's typically me. She has a tendency to rush into sex, from my perspective. People never talk about what men get from foreplay. Sex is much better for me when we take things slowly. Also, men can get sore too. I often do.

[easygoing]

In fact, if anyone is lacking in the foreplay, it's typically me. She has a tendency to rush into sex, from my perspective. People never talk about what men get from foreplay. Sex is much better for me when we take things slowly. Also, men can get sore too. I often do.

I agree entirely, it's always been amazing over the years to hear ladies complain about their husbands rushing things and not spending enough time on foreplay. For me, and I'm certain for many men, the period spent on foreplay is almost the most enjoyable part of intimacy and sex. There's nothing quite like being in a heightened state of sexual arousal. And for me at least, I tried to make foreplay last as long as possible.

Like you though, my experience throughout our marriage is that my wife wanted to 'get on with the job'. I never really understood that. Yes, but what a job it is

[easygoing]

The other thing I might add, which may put the cat amongst the pigeons, and with respect to our physiology, is that the book Women Are From Mars And men Are From Venus' (with respect to sexuality) really nailed it. Both women and men are only here for one purpose, and that's to reproduce, for the survival of the human species. With that in mind our roles are totally different. Women on the one hand want to 'nest', and have certainty etc to raise their young. They need the emotional bonding. For men on the other hand, the emotional part is more a bonus than a necessity. All they (we) are here to do is 'sow our seeds'.

[Stillness]

Both women and men are only here for one purpose, and that's to reproduce, for the survival of the human species.

We're childless and happy with it.

[atskitty2]

Easy, I agree with you generally speaking. I think that's our nature, our instinct and we're somewhat guided by it. I don't have children of my own, and don't terribly regret that. I found other outlets for my nurturing side. I do crave the bonding, as you say, more than any of my partners, or friends, seem to need it. I have always just believed that women and men are different. Again, speaking in generalities.

[easygoing]

We're childless and happy with it.

Good for you and I applaud your decision if it makes you both happy, youre lucky though that the human species evolved the ability to rationalise. Without that your childless choice wouldn't be an option. Animals without that ability have little choice.