[funkykristi]

Im in a new relationship. I mean its less than 48 hours old. Hes great and hes ok with me not feeling ready for sex but eventually there will be an expectation. Ive only ever done it twice and it hurt both times. I can't say i enjoyed it. Ive only given one blow job and was extremely uncomfortable doing it. Im very hard on myself. Im attracted to men but i think im uncomfortable with sex because im uncomfortable with my naked body and im intimidated by the intimacy and fear letting someone down. Am i crazy? How do you overcome these things??

[jns]

Welcome to WH! Just take things very slow. Not being used to sex, there is some stretching of the vagina that will take place. Have him promise to take things very slow. You might also want to consider using store bought lubricant. It will lessen the friction. Best wishes.

[funkykristi]

Thank you i appreciate it

[atskitty2]

When you say the relationship is 2 days old, does that mean you're an official couple for 2 days or something else?

Sex can be painful for the first several times, that's not uncommon, and it usually stops hurting and becomes pleasurable long after we've started having sex. Just like anything, it takes experience and adjustment to thoroughly enjoy and know what you're doing.
Trust and a level of "comfort" with our partner is a big factor in sexual enjoyment, for many of us. If this relationship is so new, I'm not surprised at all that you're not ready, and it will very likely be uncomfortable and awkward for you.

What is your age? Is he much more experienced than you?

[funkykristi]

We have been an official couple for two days. Im 38. Hes older. Id say we are both pretty inexperienced really

[atskitty2]

Take things very slowly physically then. Allow yourself time to get comfortable and earn each other's trust and respect.

What is it about your body that you're uncomfortable with? I think working on your confidence and self esteem will go a long way. Much of sexual expression and intimacy is in our minds. If our minds aren't healthy and our sense of self is "off", it impacts our relationship to everyone around us, especially our romantic relationships.
Take good care of yourself, with healthy diet, exercise, social time, meditation or other spiritual attention, and you will begin to feel differently.

Don't apply pressure on yourself to do things you're not ready to do. 2 days into a relationship, there should really be no "expectation" from either of you. Just continue getting to know each other.
Relax and enjoy the journey, as they say. Let things progress naturally and slowly.

[WaveRider]

Kristi,

Lemme see if I've got this right: you're 38 years old, you've had intercourse twice, and have given head once. Is that right?

[funkykristi]

No need to be that way about it. Im inexperienced. Im already ashamed of it

[amy40]

be proud of who you are

if you're not married, there's no reason to feel you have to have sex, no matter what your age is
men are not owed sex because they take you out on a date 3 times or a hundred times
that is no reason to have sex "because it's expected"

[jns]

Kristi, are you on some sort of birth control or will condoms be used? Unless you are hoping to have a child. I ask because birth control is often overlooked by people who are inexperienced.