Hello! First of all I'd like to give a little bit of background information on this topic: I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years, we're both 28 and although our relationship during these years haven been only roses, there's a big elephant in the room which bothers me. To start this off, I'm going to say that I never meant to date the guy. When I first met him in 2014, I just got out of a break-up and was pretty much heartbroken, and he was always there for me. I only saw him as a friend but as months passed, he told me he liked me and started kissing me randomly without my consent. I got in a relationship with him out of.... I don't know, maybe to forget about my ex? But I personally NEVER thought it would last. Me and him are born 10 days apart, same month and same year and that makes us the same zodiac sign and VERY SIMILAR. like extreme similar, which is what made me feel really comfortable around him since the beginning. Like he's my best friend?
We've been living together for a bit over 2 years, and I love living with him but we also have a problem. We never have sex, like ever? only very rarely. I use his PC sometimes to play video games because we're both into gaming and the first time I checked his internet history over a year ago I saw a bunch of porn site links and that shocked me. This continued pretty much once every few days and now I always check his history and still see porn. I don't have any problems with that, in fact I sometimes watch porn myself but it's once in a blue moon because my sex drive is very low and has always been this way. We have sex very very little times like maybe once a month and in rest we only do things like oral, hand jobs, etc. The problem is: He doesn't turn me on. He constantly tries to go down on me but I don't feel ****? It's like nothing. My hand does a better job, at this point. It's not that he doesn't know how to do it, he just doesn't affect me even the slight. There were various times where he shove his hand down my pants and tried fingering me, but again NOTHING. When he kisses me, I don't feel anything either and in reality we barely kiss too. And when we do it's a peck.
I don't know what to do at this point because I love him and I miss him when he's not around but I want nothing sexual to do with him anymore. Sex with him is like a chore that I sometimes push away and try to prolong it by locking myself in the bathroom when he comes home from work so I don't have to deal with his hormones. or going to sleep at different hours so he doesn't attempt anything in bed. I know it's wrong but the problem is, we match in everything else? That's what kept our relationship going for 4 years and counting. He is also the first serious boyfriend I had, before I only dated guys for a few months maybe to a year. I never had this problem before, dating other guys because they had no problem turning me on but not with him- I don't feel attracted to him and I'm only dating him because I'm used to it and it's comfortable, rather than splitting and having to start dating someone else again.
I'm also 28 and my family constantly pressures me "When are you two getting married?". To be honest, I wouldn't see myself happy in a marriage with him.
But what are your thoughts on this, what should I do? Thank you.
We've been living together for a bit over 2 years, and I love living with him but we also have a problem. We never have sex, like ever? only very rarely. I use his PC sometimes to play video games because we're both into gaming and the first time I checked his internet history over a year ago I saw a bunch of porn site links and that shocked me. This continued pretty much once every few days and now I always check his history and still see porn. I don't have any problems with that, in fact I sometimes watch porn myself but it's once in a blue moon because my sex drive is very low and has always been this way. We have sex very very little times like maybe once a month and in rest we only do things like oral, hand jobs, etc. The problem is: He doesn't turn me on. He constantly tries to go down on me but I don't feel ****? It's like nothing. My hand does a better job, at this point. It's not that he doesn't know how to do it, he just doesn't affect me even the slight. There were various times where he shove his hand down my pants and tried fingering me, but again NOTHING. When he kisses me, I don't feel anything either and in reality we barely kiss too. And when we do it's a peck.
I don't know what to do at this point because I love him and I miss him when he's not around but I want nothing sexual to do with him anymore. Sex with him is like a chore that I sometimes push away and try to prolong it by locking myself in the bathroom when he comes home from work so I don't have to deal with his hormones. or going to sleep at different hours so he doesn't attempt anything in bed. I know it's wrong but the problem is, we match in everything else? That's what kept our relationship going for 4 years and counting. He is also the first serious boyfriend I had, before I only dated guys for a few months maybe to a year. I never had this problem before, dating other guys because they had no problem turning me on but not with him- I don't feel attracted to him and I'm only dating him because I'm used to it and it's comfortable, rather than splitting and having to start dating someone else again.
I'm also 28 and my family constantly pressures me "When are you two getting married?". To be honest, I wouldn't see myself happy in a marriage with him.
But what are your thoughts on this, what should I do? Thank you.
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