[Beachitanytime]

Hi
I'm a 55 year old women who has been with my husband for 34 years. We have a wonderful relationship and are enjoying this new part of our lives (Empty Nesters). We have sex once or twice a week but over the course of the last year or so I am finding it difficult to have an orgasm. I have tried fantasizing and watching porn which helped at first but not really any longer. I have taken to "faking it" for his sake. I was on a hormone replacement pill for about two years but at the last visit my doctor recommended that I ween myself off since my hormones had by that time balanced themselves out. I did and have not taken any for about 7 months or so. I should say that I took the hormones for menopause symptoms and I was on a very low dosage. Orgasms at that time were normal. So my question is, should I go back on the hormone pills to help? Is there something else that I could try without resorting to the pills? The want is there but that's about all.

[Stillness]

I don't have an answer to the question about hormones, but I'm wondering if you still enjoy sex?

I'd rather my wife not have orgasms than patronize me by faking it. I honestly don't even care that much if she climaxes as long as she's having a good time. Incidentally, she is much more orgasmic if she exercises her pelvic muscles. She was recently not enjoying things as much and used some Ben wa balls I had gotten her years ago just for a day or two. Afterward she said she experienced climaxes like she'd never experienced in her life - and we've been together for decades. Maybe you could try that.

[jns]

HiI was on a hormone replacement pill for about two years but at the last visit my doctor recommended that I ween myself off since my hormones had by that time balanced themselves out. I did and have not taken any for about 7 months or so. I should say that I took the hormones for menopause symptoms and I was on a very low dosage. Orgasms at that time were normal. So my question is, should I go back on the hormone pills to help? Is there something else that I could try without resorting to the pills? The want is there but that's about all.

I'm curious about this "balanced themselves out" statement. I think the estrogen in HRT probably helped support your libido. With it gone, you are now at a lower level and that is why you have trouble climaxing. The newness factor of porn helped for a while, but the newness is now gone.

It seems that some doctors have a bias against normal sexual functions that becomes apparent when a patient's normal bodily functions no longer produce the hormones in sufficient quantity. Since there is a low financial reward for restoring somewhat normal function, they do not attempt to restore it. Let nature take its course. Of course they do not take the same attitude toward things like diabetes, high cholesterol and high blood pressure where if left untreated lead to shortened life and expensive complications.

Maybe you could find a doctor that is more sympathetic to your situation.

[atskitty2]

I'm not a big fan of hormones. Have you considered natural paths to hormone balance? There are quite a few doctors that treat these issues without the HRT traditionally used.

Also, stop faking and communicate with your hubs Faking doesn't benefit either of you.

Have you started any other meds during this time? Any other changes in your life, besides the kids being gone? How stressful was that for you? Even good stress is stress and it could affect your sexual function.

[Texasred]

It seems obvious that about the time you stopped the HRT, your orgasms also stopped?
I'd suggest discussing this with another doctor, one perhaps a little more sympathetic to your sexual needs.
As a male, I experienced something similar when my testosterone levels were less than optimal even though within the so-called "normal range." You want hormone levels at the mean, not merely within the 3-sigma limits.