[Ashlee T.]

Just to bookend my comments about my gf and her high libido: my wife has **zero** libido, freely admits it, and doesn't see a problem, has no desire to fix it even though her doctor has told her she has a hormone imbalance. We do (very) infrequently have sex, but it's something she merely does as a favor to me - as she has said on more than one occasion. I usually end up feeling as if I should leave money on the nightstand...

That sounds so unfortunate for her and for you (although, at least you are experiencing sexual satisfaction through other means). She is depriving herself. I can't help but speculate there's more to this with her, than a hormonal imbalance. It sounds as if what was once between you two has vanished, perhaps for you both. And maybe it is a case of what truly never was will truly never be, no matter what you do whether that be marriage, kids, etc. Maybe it was never really there.

Regardless....I can only hope you two find a way to peace and part soon, while you're both still young and able enough to move on with your lives.

[FeelingWeird]

I have always been very horny, starting from age 11. Usually it is more so right before my period starts. It often made me feel bad about myself because I didn't know why I felt this way so often or if other women felt that way too. At any rate, I have good self-control and am actually waiting for marriage to have intercourse, and I have also had very healthy and very passionate relationships (intercourse is but one form of sex, and there are infinitely many other very sexually satisfying activates out there). A doctor told me I was normal, so I guess it is all good.

[jns]

Before menopause, I could tell my wife was going to have her period soon by my nose. Nothing bad, just a change. Her skin also felt a bit softer. She was also the most amenable to having sex on those days. My timing was so accurate she thought I was psychic. Being horny just before your period is not surprising to me since that is what I experienced with my wife.

[Vanessa R.]

It's interesting that there's mention of women being hornier right before their period. For me, I get extremely horny once my cycle is done. I think maybe it's because the cramps and other symptoms I have right before my period hits is SO painful and uncomfortable that the last thing I want to do is have sex. And of course during my cycle I just feel icky, lol. I've had sex on my period before -- luckily, previous partners didn't care about that -- but I more or less did it for them...I just don't like the smell, the cleanup/towel setup, etc. I just don't feel sexy.

BUT when it's the last day or so of my period I wake up with what I call the "morning hornies." If I happen to graze my hand near my lady parts on accident or even if I'm sitting a certain way and there's "pressure" on that area, it will be super sensitive and I instantly get aroused. I actually felt that way today but I've been so busy with work projects that I've been holding off on the temptation to release the tension myself since I don't know when's the next time I'll have someone to take care of it for me, haha.

[Zoë T.]

I totally relate to those "morning hornies," Vanessa! I often wake up masturbating and/or will feel my clit pulsing - asking for some tension release. For me I am my most horny when I'm just coming off of my period, and the least horny right before I start my period. I want to have more morning sex with my partner, but she tends to be her most horny at night.

[Wednesday L.F.]

I only found out recently that there are women who like sex in the morning. *pause to marvel at my naivete* I thought morning sex was something dudes wanted because of waking up with an erection and not knowing what else to do about it.

I never feel sexy in the morning, so it's not a sex time for me. But I'm fascinated to know that, as always, there are lots of other fun and varied views on it.

[FeelingWeird]

I only found out recently that there are women who like sex in the morning. **pause to marvel at my naivete** I thought morning sex was something dudes wanted because of waking up with an erection and not knowing what else to do about it.

I never feel sexy in the morning, so it's not a sex time for me. But I'm fascinated to know that, as always, there are lots of other fun and varied views on it.

I feel most horny in the late evening or early morning, when I am either falling asleep or waking up. I have heard that hormones can fluctuate at those times, and also those are the times when my mind is least occupied and thus such thoughts can creep in.

[FeelingWeird]

So I had a little free time today to continue my ongoing sexuality research as I try to better understand myself, and I literally found a FEMALE medical expert writing a book about how women naturally have low sex drives and women with high sex drives are just a myth and are just pretending to have high sex drives to impress men and because society tells them to act that way. And as a heterosexual woman with a high sex drive who has tried to hide it her entire life just to be taken seriously and stay safe and was trying to do the exact opposite of "impress" anyone, this felt like a slap in the face. I feel like I am being told that I don't exist and my feelings aren't real. And while on a rational level I know this is all just bull****************, it still hurts very much to know that this is what some in the medical and scientific communities believe. It makes me more hesitant about trying to talk about my experiences with medical professionals for fear that I just won't be believed.

Also, while I am straight, what kind of message does this send to lesbian women who may have high sex drives and are not trying to impress men? They are totally left out, and this is beyond homophobic.

[jns]

So I had a little free time today to continue my ongoing sexuality research as I try to better understand myself, and I literally found a FEMALE medical expert writing a book about how women naturally have low sex drives and women with high sex drives are just a myth and are just pretending to have high sex drives to impress men and because society tells them to act that way. And as a heterosexual woman with a high sex drive who has tried to hide it her entire life just to be taken seriously and stay safe and was trying to do the exact opposite of "impress" anyone, this felt like a slap in the face. I feel like I am being told that I don't exist and my feelings aren't real. And while on a rational level I know this is all just bull********************************************** ******************, it still hurts very much to know that this is what some in the medical and scientific communities believe. It makes me more hesitant about trying to talk about my experiences with medical professionals for fear that I just won't be believed.

Also, while I am straight, what kind of message does this send to lesbian women who may have high sex drives and are not trying to impress men? They are totally left out, and this is beyond homophobic.

Some people will write books on generalizations and their own particular biases. Just because someone labels themself as an expert or someone else does, doesn't mean that they know any of the answers, let alone all of them. Water off the back of a duck. Don't let the writer's opinion affect you. Just know that there are people like the writer out there in society. While I have never been with a really high sex drive woman, I have been with some that had a reasonably strong sex drive who would hint and even be direct if they felt that they weren't getting the sex that they wanted. If they were acting, they were better at acting than the actors and actresses in Hollywood.

[FeelingWeird]

Some people will write books on generalizations and their own particular biases. Just because someone labels themself as an exert or someone else does, doesn't mean that they know any of the answers, let alone all of them. Water off the back of a duck. Don't let the writer's opinion affect you. Just know that there are people like the writer out there in society. While I have never been with a really high sex drive woman, I have been with some that had a reasonably strong sex drive who would hint and even be direct if they felt that they weren't getting the sex that they wanted. If they were acting, they were better at acting than the actors and actresses in Hollywood.

I mean, you are completely correct and I know this is total crap; it just concerns me because it makes me hesitate again to talk about things I probably should talk about with the people I probably should talk about them with.

Thank you for always having positive things to add.