[CapeCRunner]

My husband and I have the 4 kids now and are having a tough time finding time for each other. He always goes out of his way to make me feel attractive but we really are having a hard time finding time for each other since the twins were born. Most of the time I’m the one that’s tired and I do want to have sex but by the time any available time rolls around I want to just lay down and rest. He puts the moves on still and he’s very patient with the whole lack of sex thing but how can I be a better contributor? I am exhausted but I do want that intimacy back.

[Ashlee T.]

That's definitely a tough situation. I don't even have kids, but I know I've mentioned before that if my guy waits until I've gotten in bed for the night to initiate sex, it just isn't going to happen. It keys me up, gets my blood flowing and makes me unable to sleep for at least an hour or so which sucks when you're already exhausted and counting down the hours before you have to get back up. Can't even imagine how much more intense that is with 4 kids!

How old are the twins now? I like Amy's idea of getting a sitter now and then. I am a huge fan of parents scheduling a "date night" each week. It just means finding a good sitter who you can pay for a couple of hours one night a week. Make that YOUR time as a couple to focus on each other and increase intimacy in all ways, not just sex. Dress nice, fix up a bit and just go out for a little adult fun (even if it's eating ice cream and walking in the park!) You might find that if you all find some time to let your hair down, the physical intimacy will become more frequent, too. Maybe you can even flashback to the past and go parking.

[MrMr]

I've experienced this before big time! A quick conversation fixed our solution.

I simply said that in the evenings i am more tired
???
However, first thing in the morning i am raring to go. Early morning sex before our responsibilities start now works for us. We can be loud and adventurous with out being too concerned of waking kids up.

Last night we woke up at 4am and had sex on our back lawn. Went back to bed and went again at 6 in the shower.

My friend had a similar issue and hasn't had good sex in 2 years. Don't let it get to that

[MrMr]

I firmly believe in expressing intimacy in the home. I regularly kiss, hold hands, hug and hold my partner in front of my kids. Yeah they go ewwww, but I never saw that with my parents and they divorced. We show love inexcusably

[CapeCRunner]

Thanks all for the responses! Things to think about! ????

[MrMr]

Thanks all for the responses! Things to think about! ????

A hand job can take place anywhere and can be quick and sexy. It works both ways too. We like to make it a game how quickly you can cum lol

[mickeyc]

We also have 4 kids with two being twins and there's really no way around it the first years are really exhausting. I remember the rare night being kid free and we'd plan an intimate evening only to fall asleep before the fireworks started. We have a small shed and there were a few times when it got more than I could bear I'd drag my husband out there for a quick shag. Couple times the back of the minivan. We had to be creative. lol.

[CapeCRunner]

We also have 4 kids with two being twins and there's really no way around it the first years are really exhausting. I remember the rare night being kid free and we'd plan an intimate evening only to fall asleep before the fireworks started. We have a small shed and there were a few times when it got more than I could bear I'd drag my husband out there for a quick shag. Couple times the back of the minivan. We had to be creative. lol.

It’s so tough. We’re exhausted. We had talked about trying for tonight but we just got into an argument, one that I unintentionally started, and he’s been in the basement for an hour cleaning it since the boys have been asleep. I cried in the shower, made myself a bowl of cereal for dinner and now I’m just sitting in bed alone. Toughest year of my life I tell ya - even though those boys make it worth it.

[CapeCRunner]

A hand job can take place anywhere and can be quick and sexy. It works both ways too. We like to make it a game how quickly you can cum lol

Yeah maybe we’ll have to just try things like that instead of trying to do what we used to be able to on a whim.

[MrMr]

Yeah maybe we’ll have to just try things like that instead of trying to do what we used to be able to on a whim.

I think it introduces a new level of intimacy