[Husband4Her]

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Have questions about buying a vibrator for your wife?

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Hi, I'm new to the board. I am 45 and my wife is 42 and we Have been married 19 years. We have three children together. our sex life has generally been quite good. We have sex about once a week and I can usually get her to orgasm between two and five times. She only orgasms with deep penetration and they are deep G spot orgasms

Lately I have been having some male problems and it has left her a little bit frustrated. Viagra works sometimes. I have been getting increasingly nervous about our lovemaking.

I want to buy her a vibrator although she has never used one. How big of one should I get? I am just over 6 inches long and I'm not sure if getting a larger one would be appropriate. Should I use it on her the first time? Should I incorporate it into our love making? Should I use it with the vibrator on or just as a tool? Any answers greatly appreciated.

[jns]

I would say get her one about your size, but I have never been in that market, so what do I know. Maybe get something smaller or larger, too and something with more features. Do you masturbate between your sex sessions?

[Husband4Her]

I would say get her one about your size, but I have never been in that market, so what do I know. Maybe get something smaller or larger, too and something with more features. Do you masturbate between your sex sessions?

I do. She loves sex when we are having it, but not that frequently anymore. In fact, sometimes if I knew sex was on tap for later in the day I would masturbate earlier so I could last longer with her.

Her g spot seems 5 inches in, deeper than most women, and she orgasms best when I am hardest. She is more conservative than me when it comes to sex and would never even consider getting a vibrator but might like it if I got her one.

She has never masturbated and cannot have clitoral orgasms, only deep vaginal ones. That puts a lot of pressure on me, since she has no sex toys, I am the only one who can get her off, ith missionary deep penetration. I am kinda hoping that of I can get her off with a vibrator than we can have more relaxed lovemaking.

[jns]

The masturbation is probably impacting your ability to stay hard long enough. As people get older it is common for testosterone levels to drop as well as other hormone levels. This affects libido and can be a strong effect in males. What you could do when you were younger may not work now. If you are masturbating to porn, it could also be a part of the problem in that plain sex with the same woman doesn't seem as exciting.

[rosekitten]

For the vibrator- see if you can find a glass one. Glass is fantastic. Are you sure she wants a vibrator (have you asked her?) I've never cared for them, personally. But, one of my vibes has a nice size and shape so I still use it without the vibe effect. At any rate, glass. It feels great, you won't get anything harder, it's sanitary, easy to clean, and you can heat and freeze them for added sensations.

[Husband4Her]

Glass, huh? I thought one textured and jelly like to feel more like a real penis. Is a nice size 6 inches 7 inches 9 inches or what?

[DreamP346]

Vibrators and dildos are two different things. Which one are you really looking for. Most vibes are about stimulating the clit and having a clit orgasm. There are G-spot vibrators, but they are not as effective since vibrations is not what causes the G-spot orgasms like it does for the clit orgasm. There are vibes that do both and are usually called rabbits.

If your wife likes deep penetration, just getting a dildo might work. Those just look like a penis with not vibrations (no batteries). You can get rubber, glass and all different types.

There are lot of different toys you can use. A **** ring helps to maintain erections if that is a problem. Incorporating toys into your play can be lots of fun. visit a websit and see all the stuff they have and read the descriptions and reviews. Don't just buy whatever looks good. Sex toys can be fairly expensive so you want to research what you are buying.

[rosekitten]

I've tried the textured jelly like ones before, and hands down glass is better. They have different textures, shapes, and sizes to stimulate in different ways.

[rcoreyus]

Different people like different things. Some like large or small, soft or hard, textured or smooth, just surface vibration or deep penetration - thats why there is such a wide variety out there.

If you have good communication you could look together online for what she wants. If she is too shy, you may be in for a lot of $$$ buying a variety of toys to see what she likes most.

With no other information, I'd suggest a silicone toy a bit larger than you are, and a vibrator to use at the same time.

[Husband4Her]

Follow up...

The last few lovemaking sessions (without toys) have been pretty good for her and I have some confidence back. When she says "OK, I've had enough, you can finish" I know I gave made her happy. I purchased two vibrators, a 6" (smaller than me) and a 7 1/2" (bigger than me) to surprise her with one night. I thought perhaps when we are on a roll it might be good to introduce rather than when I am in a rut. Thoughts? Which one should I start with? And thanks for all replies, ladies!