[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

I’d def like to add that pressuring oneself, or feeling pressured by a partner, to reach orgasm can make it much more difficult to achieve one.

That is absolutely true the biggest impediment to orgasm is self confidence and the trying too hard to achieve it.
if the women doesn't feel confident in her body she will struggle to let go. She'll be focused on her body and not on just enjoying the pleasure.

Don't try to achieve orgasm just enjoy the foreplay.

Eventually if a man applies enough foreplay an orgasm will arrive its just that one must be slow, patient, gentle.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

I gotta disagree on a few of these statements. But I think this comment demonstrates pretty clearly that different things work for different people--or can be different for the same person at different times.

That's why communication before, during, and after the act are so vital. For the most part, partners can't read your mind. The best way to get what you want is to ask for it.

A man most know what to do because if he does not then it just won't happen. Most women are fundamentally the same. What differs is there self confidence.

Most women are inhibited to some extent that's why women feel more comfortable with lights off.

I never communicate with my partners ever.

My hands do the communicating.

[Rayn]

In reading through the comments, there are some that i agree and some that i don't. I applaud your effort and concern for wanting to please your wife. But definitely don't take it to the point where either you or she feel pressured to make it happen or disappointment if it doesn't happen. And as someone has already said, things just change over time and the both of you will need to adjust. Here are a few tips that might help.

1 - Does she masturbate and if so, how? I don't need to know. But she needs to know what best works for her. Because if she doesn't, there is no way she can communicate that to you.

2 - Sex toys can be a fun addition. Explore to find something(s) you both can enjoy. I will however give you one piece of advice in this area. As a man, don't be nervous as i once was. Remember, sex toys are your allies and aides, not your competition or replacement.

3 - Is she vocal during sex? If not, encourage her to speak up. Ask things like "how does that feel", "do you like this", and so on. Her providing even the simplest feedback like "harder", "deeper", "faster", "slower" and so on can go a long way to increasing her pleasure.

4 - Is sex more focused on you or her? And no i don't mean you going down on or fingering her as being focused on her. What i mean is, are you exploring her desires, fantasies, or kinks? What does she want to do or try?

5 - If you haven't already done so, try some butt stuff. Much like sex toys, there are just far too many options available to get into any specifics. You don't have to go full anal (unless that's what you're into) but(t) explore to see what you and she might like. Just remember, no matter what, when it comes to butt play, there are 4 golden rules to ALWAYS abide by - consent, lube, hygiene, and more lube. CAUTION: If sex toys are used, only use those that are clean and specifically designed for anal play. Any toy or item used should have a base that will prevent it from fully entering the anus!!

Good luck