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Do you fantasize about being with someone of a different race?

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  • Do you fantasize about being with someone of a different race?

    I am a black woman and live in South Africa. Because of the history of racial segregation it is very very rare to see a mixed couple. So much so that people usually stare and make snide comments when they spot one. I have wanted nothing more than to be with someone of a different race mostly European.

  • Originally posted by G-Wagon View Post
    I am a black woman and live in South Africa. Because of the history of racial segregation it is very very rare to see a mixed couple. So much so that people usually stare and make snide comments when they spot one. I have wanted nothing more than to be with someone of a different race mostly European.
    Welcome to WH Interactive Forums. I think that you would maybe have an easier time to find a partner of a different race in some other country from what you are describing.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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    • I don't know that I've ever fantasized about it, but I have been attracted to (and dated) people of ethnicities other than my own. I know there have been strides here (in the US) as far as social "acceptance" (I hate that term but not sure how else to describe it) but a LOT of that is dependent upon the area too — some areas of the country, it doesn't raise so much as a glimpse, in other locations, folks will stare/make comments (as you describe happening in South Africa).

      I think that those attitudes become, unfortunately, ingrained in a society for so long that it takes decades and in some cases centuries for them to finally lose their hold. A person should be able to pursue a relationship with another consenting adult regardless of ethnicity, background, or any other factor.

      I think people are beautiful, each in their own ways — in part because of their ethnicity (whatever it happens to be) but also because of the way that shapes their background and experience, too, influencing who they are as a person. It's fascinating to me, if that makes sense.

      Comment


      • Alison H.. I completely agree with you. People let racial bias impede them from exploring which to me is a missed opportunity.

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        • Originally posted by G-Wagon View Post
          I am a black woman and live in South Africa. Because of the history of racial segregation it is very very rare to see a mixed couple. So much so that people usually stare and make snide comments when they spot one. I have wanted nothing more than to be with someone of a different race mostly European.
          I totally get where you are coming from. Here's what happened in my case:

          A few years ago, I was studying in East Asia for my high school, and I ended up dating a girl who was as "Asian" as one can get (and not from my race). I still remember all the stares we would get from all the locals, but we didn't pay much attention to those and kept on going.

          Here's what you can do:
          IF you really like the person, then try not to think about what other people would say or do, as those people should not have an impact on your life.
          It all boils down to "You do you, I'll do me."

          Comment



          • there are mixed race couples in our neighborhood
            in the U.S., it seems mixed race couples are more common today

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