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  • G-Wagon
    Member
    • Aug 2022
    • 34

    Do you fantasize about being with someone of a different race?

    I am a black woman and live in South Africa. Because of the history of racial segregation it is very very rare to see a mixed couple. So much so that people usually stare and make snide comments when they spot one. I have wanted nothing more than to be with someone of a different race mostly European.
  • jns
    Assistant Admin
    • Mar 2010
    • 8398

    Originally posted by G-Wagon
    I am a black woman and live in South Africa. Because of the history of racial segregation it is very very rare to see a mixed couple. So much so that people usually stare and make snide comments when they spot one. I have wanted nothing more than to be with someone of a different race mostly European.
    Welcome to WH Interactive Forums. I think that you would maybe have an easier time to find a partner of a different race in some other country from what you are describing.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment

    • Alison H.
      WHI Lead Administrator
      • Aug 2019
      • 312

      I don't know that I've ever fantasized about it, but I have been attracted to (and dated) people of ethnicities other than my own. I know there have been strides here (in the US) as far as social "acceptance" (I hate that term but not sure how else to describe it) but a LOT of that is dependent upon the area too — some areas of the country, it doesn't raise so much as a glimpse, in other locations, folks will stare/make comments (as you describe happening in South Africa).

      I think that those attitudes become, unfortunately, ingrained in a society for so long that it takes decades and in some cases centuries for them to finally lose their hold. A person should be able to pursue a relationship with another consenting adult regardless of ethnicity, background, or any other factor.

      I think people are beautiful, each in their own ways — in part because of their ethnicity (whatever it happens to be) but also because of the way that shapes their background and experience, too, influencing who they are as a person. It's fascinating to me, if that makes sense.

      Comment

      • G-Wagon
        Member
        • Aug 2022
        • 34

        Alison H.. I completely agree with you. People let racial bias impede them from exploring which to me is a missed opportunity.

        Comment

        • Mo
          Junior Member
          • Jun 2022
          • 14

          Originally posted by G-Wagon
          I am a black woman and live in South Africa. Because of the history of racial segregation it is very very rare to see a mixed couple. So much so that people usually stare and make snide comments when they spot one. I have wanted nothing more than to be with someone of a different race mostly European.
          I totally get where you are coming from. Here's what happened in my case:

          A few years ago, I was studying in East Asia for my high school, and I ended up dating a girl who was as "Asian" as one can get (and not from my race). I still remember all the stares we would get from all the locals, but we didn't pay much attention to those and kept on going.

          Here's what you can do:
          IF you really like the person, then try not to think about what other people would say or do, as those people should not have an impact on your life.
          It all boils down to "You do you, I'll do me."

          Comment

          • amy40
            Veteran Member
            • Nov 2016
            • 2732


            there are mixed race couples in our neighborhood
            in the U.S., it seems mixed race couples are more common today

            Comment

            • MrMr
              Banned
              • Apr 2019
              • 270

              People definitely fetish race. I am mixed race but pass as white. When I was younger I hooked up with a girl that said that she's always wanted to try a black d*ck. It's a throw away comment but it is unnecessary.

              Comment

              • G-Wagon
                Member
                • Aug 2022
                • 34

                What is ironic is that when i did have an encounter with people of different races, guys in particular all they wanted was just sex. Which for me doesn't count as I wanted the whole experience and not just wham bam thank you ma'am.

                Comment

                • MrMr
                  Banned
                  • Apr 2019
                  • 270

                  Originally posted by G-Wagon
                  What is ironic is that when i did have an encounter with people of different races, guys in particular all they wanted was just sex. Which for me doesn't count as I wanted the whole experience and not just wham bam thank you ma'am.
                  I think men just wanting just sex doesn’t necessarily have to do with race. Women of all race and culture are beautiful. I like women with big bums and hips which can be found in most ethnicities

                  Comment

                  • jns
                    Assistant Admin
                    • Mar 2010
                    • 8398

                    Originally posted by G-Wagon
                    What is ironic is that when i did have an encounter with people of different races, guys in particular all they wanted was just sex. Which for me doesn't count as I wanted the whole experience and not just wham bam thank you ma'am.
                    I have had sex during one time encounters but I find it more satisfying during longer term relationships.
                    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                    ...
                    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                    Comment

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