[Fire(m)]

Masturbating is fun. I do it, but it would **** me off if I masturbated and later had a diminished sexual performance with my s/o.

Above, I said p..s.s me off. I should have said "it would tick me off"...
sorry for my foul language.

Old habits die hard.

Cheers.

[SorridLives]

You do have a dilemma Sorrid...I'm sorry to say. I have a couple of points for you to contemplate.

Hi Fire(m),

Thanks for trying to help. I might just have a question or two for you in the near future. You are a good person to bounce things off of.
Actually, you probably are a bit different than my husband...a different type. My husband **always** masturbates -or- has sex when he watches porn. No doubt in my mind. He does get into it and uses it for visual stimulation. The only exception I could see (for him not getting off to porn) is if he already masturbated to completion and knew I was coming home horny at any moment! He then might frantically start watching porn to help him out getting an erection quickly! LOL (That's a funny thought. I am sure it has happened already!)

You are probably right about the taboo aspect. I did see a therapist briefly. I usually don't like the therapists I have seen over the years (with a couple exceptions), but she did make a similar point. She said maybe he was being a "bad boy". She also said that he probably was looking at masturbation as his "job" since he was out of work. Imagine that? LOL

I am going to let him have his fun. I will see how it affects me or doesn't in the next couple of months. I am sure I will have plenty of vents here, though I hope not!

My husband loves me, he is just so bored when he is home alone. Plus, masturbation is pleasurable. I understand that he says, "Why not" and goes for it. I just think he ought to think of me more, and I hope he does.

[Merry]

I could be totally off here, but I really think if this is THAT important to him when he has a good sex life and he knows how you feel, or how he is making you feel, then he is the one that maybe should be in therapy? It sounds more like a compulsion.

[SorridLives]

I could be totally off here, but I really think if this is THAT important to him when he has a good sex life and he knows how you feel, or how he is making you feel, then he is the one that maybe should be in therapy? It sounds more like a compulsion.

You are right! He actually even used compulsive as a way to describe himself once.

[rcoreyus]

It isn't easy for me to relate to this because I would never prefer masturbation to sex with my spouse. Just some thoughts though:

Is there any chance he wakes up feeling horny, and that sex in the morning would reduce his desire to masturbate?

Do you think there is something he fantasizes about that you can't / won't provide? That the porn / masturbation is satisfying a desire for something else? I'm not suggesting you do that thing (even if physically possible), but understanding it might help. Does he only watch vanila porn, or is there some fetish content? Is he open enough to say what he wants in bed - even if it is embarassing?

BTW: this is his problem not yours - but you are here in the discussion and he isn't.

[SorridLives]

It isn't easy for me to relate to this because I would never prefer masturbation to sex with my spouse. Just some thoughts though:

Is there any chance he wakes up feeling horny, and that sex in the morning would reduce his desire to masturbate?

Do you think there is something he fantasizes about that you can't / won't provide? That the porn / masturbation is satisfying a desire for something else? I'm not suggesting you do that thing (even if physically possible), but understanding it might help. Does he only watch vanila porn, or is there some fetish content? Is he open enough to say what he wants in bed - even if it is embarassing?

BTW: this is his problem not yours - but you are here in the discussion and he isn't.

Hi rcoreyus,

He is just oversexed. LOL. Yes, you have a point..he does wake up horny, and that is probably where the daytime/evening masturbation comes from (when I am not home to have sex with).
No to the fetish or kinky desires. He is plain vanilla....more vanilla than me, believe me! Like I said, he does like mornings and by noon he may be crazy to be satisfied if he is home and bored...
I am feeling better today. Thanks for your thoughts, as always!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Me thinks sorridlives has to change shifts if she works when he wakes up in the morning,

and if she doesn't, then;-

Me thinks she needs to set her alarm until she's used to the time, and wake him up, i mean wake up earlier,

CW

[SorridLives]

Me thinks sorridlives has to change shifts if she works when he wakes up in the morning,

and if she doesn't, then;-

Me thinks she needs to set her alarm until she's used to the time, and wake him up, i mean wake up earlier,

CW

ROFL! Funny thing is...I may just let him masturbate, in that case! LOL! I am not a morning person (for sex)...at least not that early! LOL!LOL! Isn't that ironic???

[CHANDLERS WISH]

ROFL! Funny thing is...I may just let him masturbate, in that case! LOL! I am not a morning person (for sex)...at least not that early! LOL!LOL! Isn't that ironic???

Dear me, very ironic, lol...

What? That will solve your problem girl... crack me up...

Get yourself to bed early, twice a week and wake yourself up....

lol

[SorridLives]

Dear me, very ironic, lol...

What? That will solve your problem girl... crack me up...

Get yourself to bed early, twice a week and wake yourself up....

lol

What??? I can'tget up that early and have sex! This is too much! But I will have to let him go and realize it's my choice, I guess! Too ironic! LOL.
Well, I am off to go camping for the first time in my life! See you peps Sunday afternoon or evening!