[mariaangel]

I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years, I am 17 and he is 19. He tells me that he loves me. I want to take the next step but dont know how he will react when I tell him that I have a penis. This could possibly endanger my life if he isnt as accepting as my friends.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Eeeeeerrrrm.

Ok.

First off, how could he not have already noticed?

Secondly, I believe you have an obligation share your gender if it is the same as the person you are dating, if they are assuming that you are the other sex...

Thirdly, are you for real?

[SorridLives]

I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years, I am 17 and he is 19. He tells me that he loves me. I want to take the next step but dont know how he will react when I tell him that I have a penis. This could possibly endanger my life if he isnt as accepting as my friends.

I wish you had told him already (beforehand) so that you wouldn't put your life in danger. Please don't ever do this again. Yikes. You better tell him with other friends that he trusts around you....So that he isn't embarrassed, but you are safer.

[mariaangel]

Eeeeeerrrrm.

Ok.

First off, how could he not have already noticed?

Secondly, I believe you have an obligation share your gender if it is the same as the person you are dating, if they are assuming that you are the other sex...

Thirdly, are you for real?

How could he have not noticed well hormones, breast augmentation, lazer, and my gender is female, im straight, but my sex is just male. Yes I am for real and no im not insane. Also I could have told him but I didnt think it really mattered.

[Fire(m)]

First...I don't have anything against women with penises, or men with vaginas. Heck, one time I seriously contemplated having a tattoo on my shoulder of a vagina. I figured that would enable me to play with my clitoris any time I liked!

My concern here is that there is a guy (your boyfriend) who is presumably 100% male. He has invested a lot of time and energy and his HEART in a relationship with you who he thinks is presumably 100% female. When he finds out differently, you're correct in assuming that the result of that reveal has the potential of being explosive.

Because you perceive yourself to be a female and to be "straight" doesn't change the fact that you have a penis. His perception is that you have a vagina. Because you have allowed him to become attached to you and you've dated him for so long without telling him, you have in effect, deliberately LIED to him about who and what you are.

Understand that getting to the vagina is the ultimate goal of any straight male. I have to admit that I would not be happy discovering that the girl I had invested all my time and HEART in for the past 2 years does not have a vagina. That would be REALLY problematic to me.

I think that this has the potential of scarring him for life.

I never have a problem with anyone who has a difference of perception of their sexuality that what nature provided. I do have a problem with someone who involved others in that perception and unwittingly reels them into a relationship expecting that "it shouldn't matter". That's a load of garbage frankly. Your sexuality means enough to you that you would be "evidently" a female by age 15?!? Why would you not think it would make a HUGE difference to him? I think that the problem is that you are so absorbed in becoming a woman, that you have become indignant about people's acceptance of you.

I honestly don't respect that. It's too bad and you're going to crush a decent guy. Sorry to speak so strongly, and I have tried to remain un-offensive in my language, but while I have no problem with your choice of creating a different sexuality for yourself, I have a big problem with you involving someone unsuspecting to the extent you have.

Cheers.

[mariaangel]

I havent really lied to him because we never brought up the subject and he never asked. and its not changing who I am, its being who I am. Also if he really loves me, he wont really care. It may hurt him or scar him but that is not my intention. I could wait until after I have had sex reassignment surgery, but he keeps wanting to, or I could just do oral sex, I really dont want to hurt him. And the reason I started all this so young is because a few months before I met him they disowned me for wearing lipstick, I was able to 'pass' well enough until I started the hormones and stuff. I own an online company because im only skilled in that or prostitution (dont wanna do that) and im good at designing clothing and jewelry but not good enough. Also everyone should accept me as the female that I am even though I do have a penis. Well I guess its like I didnt feel he would love me so I didnt bring it up.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I havent really lied to him because we never brought up the subject and he never asked. and its not changing who I am, its being who I am. Also if he really loves me, he wont really care. It may hurt him or scar him but that is not my intention. I could wait until after I have had sex reassignment surgery, but he keeps wanting to, or I could just do oral sex, I really dont want to hurt him. And the reason I started all this so young is because a few months before I met him they disowned me for wearing lipstick, I was able to 'pass' well enough until I started the hormones and stuff. I own an online company because im only skilled in that or prostitution (dont wanna do that) and im good at designing clothing and jewelry but not good enough. Also everyone should accept me as the female that I am even though I do have a penis. Well I guess its like I didnt feel he would love me so I didnt bring it up.

Why would he ask? If you believe that with a tad of lipstick you "look" like a female, then he will assume you are one. If you are 17, mmm, then he may assume you are a Virgin and therefore, hasn't suggested anything yet.

In my opinion, people do not have the "Right" to make their own call on whether or not they go out with someone and do not tell that person that they have a penis... It's selfish, simple. It's a decision made by you and you alone. And, he has no say what so ever, as to whether or not he would have gone out with you had he known, as you chose not to tell him.

Your right, he probably would not have loved you had you told him, so again, selfish on your behalf and trickery in short.

Relationships irrespective are not formed on lies, deciet, trickery and you have commenced one on all of that...

People accept people whom are HONEST, no problems at all with you being a woman with a penis, absolutely none, but be straight forward, tell the world, your not ashamed, so if they don't go out with you bad luck, you don't get that guy, simple... He's not interested in that form of a relationship.

Don't make decisions for other people.

[Hystorm]

" If he really loves me, he won't really care "

Ummm..yes he will...that is so...Skidrow!

Best of luck to you, you will need it.

[Guest]

yes it is a lie.... and you should of told him...

[anonymouswhitefemale]

I havent really lied to him because we never brought up the subject and he never asked.

Yes, i'd say it is a lie, since you getting into a relationship with him without the added definition a homosexual couple would have... His feelings for you are on assumption that you are a female. Unless he's gay as well and has an inkling about the truth already. I can't believe he wouldn't have picked you up and felt a bulge or something.

But anyway, the most problematic thing for me here is WHO THE HELI would give a 17 year old breast implants.... Oh dear.

I'd say, unless he's gay, you're outta there.

Think things through before you fool some guy into something he doens't want - I mean it's not like there aren't enough guys out there looking for trannies/cd's.

But yeah, you have potentially scarred this guy for life, and if his friends find out he'll probably be persecuted.