[sourpuss]

I used to have the same problem. I even talked to my doctor about it and he referred me to a therapist. I thought the problem was all me and there was something wrong, only to discover that I just wasn't happy in my relationship. Not saying everyone who isn't interested in sex is unhappy with their partner at all. But general depression or unhappiness can lead to no interest in sex. Job stress, life/money stress, etc.
Also, as soon as I stopped taking birth control pills my drive suddenly came back, full force. I swear that's how the pill works. You can't get pregnant when you're miserable to be around and you never want to have sex.

[Faerunner]

I can vouch for stress and hormones killing sex drive. When I was depressed the last thing I wanted was sex 99% of the time. The other 1%, I didn't want sex, I just wanted the endorphin release from orgasm - therefore it wasn't worth getting my guy involved when I could use my 5-minute method and be done with it. I know that sounds horrible and inconsiderate but I didn't want sexual intimacy at all during that point in my life, and as much as I tried to care about his sexual needs I just didn't feel the drive to satisfy him, and didn't think it would be respectful or appreciated to use him for an orgasm and then walk away.

The pill is also horrible for some women. I was one of them. When I got off the pill my drive came back somewhat but even now I'm not terribly interested in sex except at certain times - when I'm alone and bored (this is probably me training myself, as I used to explore sex-related websites late at night or when I was all alone before I moved away from home; having parents around can cause some really interesting sexual habits to develop!), a week or so before my period (I'm guessing this is my most fertile point, so being horny then makes sense), and after a lot of foreplay, which for me can include watching porn or reading erotic literature. I don't usually get aroused at random. Of course, now that I know my triggers I can arouse myself more easily when I want/need to, but I don't think it's abnormal for women not to think about sex all day.

You sound like you're happy in your relationship other than the sex. Maybe you can work things out. Talk to him and make sure he knows how you feel, completely and honestly. Then make a deal - he can initiate, but he should back off if you insist you don't want sex; or he can expect sex x times a week; maybe you don't want him to initiate at all and will work on your sex drive by yourself or initiate on your own when you feel it's least intrusive to you.

I know it's hard to start things off but if you enjoy it once you're into it, I'd let him initiate at least once a week. I argued it with myself for a while but eventually came to the conclusion that love sometimes means sacrifice (in this case, giving my body willingly to him even when I didn't feel horny) especially if the sacrifice in question isn't going to hurt anyone. I found that even if I feel lukewarm about the sex itself, I really love watching him get pleasure from me, and after a while not only am I more receptive to his advances (I think my body finally gets the hint now!) but I've started actually wanting sex rather than wanting to masturbate. It could also be that I'm getting older (24 now) and am more aware of his pleasure and how I factor into it. I like making him happy, so the small sacrifice of letting him start foreplay when I'm not interested is paid back in the bliss I see when he cums. He is also aware of my lack of interest and so he does his best to be gentle, to use lube when necessary, and to always, always tell me he loves and appreciates me. It's so awesome to hear those words and know that he understands!

[Texasred]

I argued it with myself for a while but eventually came to the conclusion that love sometimes means sacrifice (in this case, giving my body willingly to him even when I didn't feel horny) especially if the sacrifice in question isn't going to hurt anyone. I found that even if I feel lukewarm about the sex itself, I really love watching him get pleasure from me, and after a while not only am I more receptive to his advances (I think my body finally gets the hint now!) but I've started actually wanting sex rather than wanting to masturbate.

This is exactly the way sex is with my wife, on the exceedingly rare occasions we have sex, except for the part about giving herself willingly, and the part about her loving to watch me get pleasure, and the part about becoming more receptive to my advances after a while, and the part about actually wanting sex...
But other than that, it's just the same!
I can tell she likes it because of the loving way she says, "Aren't you done yet?"

[Piper75]

Never felt a sexual attraction to anybody in my entire life!

I guess you could describe me as Asexual- as much as i would love to enjoy sex i have never even indulged in sex never mind enjoyed it.

I have no sexual attraction to either sex- at all and have never(ever) felf 'horny'.

I have been sick since the age of six with multiple autoimmune diseases, one of my many problems involves the pituitary gland.
In my case it dosnt work- it is the pituitary gland ( the size of a pea in the brain) that regulates a number of things including SEX! SO you see i was doomed from the start.

The way i see it, no pituitary gland no sex.

I have felt attaction to the opporsite but nothing more.

I have had relationtionships- unsuccessful ones.

Shame really.

[ItsASecret]

The way i see it, no pituitary gland no sex.

Sorry to prod but what do you have that makes your pituitary "not work".

[Lil Bird]

Neither me or my partner have any trouble with sex drives, we're sex-crazed. He loves it all the time and I love giving it to him all the time. BUT, i know that when we do go periods of weeks when we don't have sex, its like he's on his period. Once you are physical in a relationship and you stop giving it to him, he may start to feel like you are no longer interested in him. This could be a HUGE blow to his ego. Another thing... I know couples who have been married a long time and have sex rarely or not even at all. Why is this??? I don't want to end up like this. I want to be with the same man that I am now and continue to have a great sex life, until of course i'm too old to do it.

[stressed]

You can give him oral or use your hands on him to make him feel wanted, even if you don't want sex.

However, you need to know that if his sex drive is high then he must be suffering from this. It's very hurtful to be constantly turned down and feel unattractive so this might harm the relationship in the long run.

What do you think about when you masturbate? Is there anything in particular you find interesting?

If you've tried everything and still don't feel you'll ever be able to match his sex drive then I must say you have to let him go. It's tons harder for him than it is for you (I don't mean to be nasty, but I'm on the other side of this and it can be a very good reason for me to break up). It's nice to be in a loving relationship but for most people it's sex that separates a lover from a friend. Think about it.

[Crystal.pharaun]

I feel that way off and on

I think that one of the most important things that have helped me, is to feel romantic and confident.
I had a baby and it completely made me feel like my body was destroyed. I have been trying to come up with an excersize routine to get me feeling sexy again. Another thing was my trust was violated with my husband's and my relationship. I no longer felt like I was the source for him to feel happy anymore nor lusty. Somehow he had this lust/love in his voice when he talked to his "friend" on the phone. Sure she was another state but it raised the hair on the back of my neck at 3 in the morning every night.
You see before we went out I only felt like I was a robot having sex with other boyfriends and I couldn't even stand guys looking at me at all, because of sexual abuse endured as a child. But my husband was different somehow, so when this new friend of his was obviously more interesting than me (kinda hard when you have post partum depression and the only one working/stressed as ) stepped in, sex went to . I was feeling weird again, I got shaky thinking about sex and even stupid small nudes with just one boob made me want to cry. When we did have sex he no longer looked me in the eyes not even for two seconds like he used to. We have had to talk for hours on end for years to figure out. I am feeling a lot stronger now and even trying to get comfortable with nudes also to conquer my insecurities about different body types. As strange as this sounds I may buy the perfume I used to wear in high school to get my romantic flighty happy feeling going again. Hey anything not to feel depressed.