[Mme.Marie]

I agree with the say no until your ready and then make it a two way street . Giving in if you dont want to can make the whole expierance miserable for you , because you regret the whole thing , and if you feel like that , if your man loves you , I doubt he will enjoy making you feel like that . So , basically , say no until you are ready.

And props to fire(m)'s wife. I have told my boyfriend that , and a few of my guy friends who went on about it . I really do think that a man shouldnt expect a woman to do something that he is not willing to try himself and vice versa . However , I dont think one person's willingness to try something should give them the right to make their partner uncomfortable or guilty if they say no,

[Sassy-snape]

I am my girlfriends boyfriend so from a male point of view i would say absolutely under no circumstances NO. Reasons are as follows: with the explosion of legallised porn in this country in recent years many males believe that anal is a vital part of the sexual act simply because it is included in almost every porn film avaliable. In reality it is NOT, it is unhygienic, unloving and in my belief it is sexual abuse of the worst sort. In many countries it is known as SODOMY and is punishable by death. In the Christian Bible, Muslim Koran and Jewish Torah it is also known as SODOMY and is very much a sinful act in the eyes of whatever you choose to call your God. If you have nothing to do with religion at this stage of your life look at why someone would need to perform such an act on you in the name of 'love'. I have seen the making of several porn films because a friend of mine used to sell them, they showed the preperation needed before filming to perform 'anal (SODOMY)', this included having a doctor on site and antiseptic soaked sponges being inserted up the anus before filming began, something most people are completely unaware of, all to safeguard against the very obvious dangers of this circus act. This is just a circus act for the benefit of producing a sellable film, the sad part is because of the inclusion in so many films, most males in this country are bringing themselves up to believe this is normal. A male friend of mine used to insist on this act from every girl he went with - he wasn't with any of them for long and one ended up in hospital for an operation to remove a malignant polyp (cancerous lump) in the anal tract after months of this abuse. The human body is engineered in a certain way and is not designed for this kind of action, lets face it, between loving couples there is plenty to learn and explore about each other without having to descend to these depths. I'm sure a lot of males will be most put-out by my opinions but my opinions are very much in the majority worldwide. Another worthwhile point to think about is that when I asked my male friend what he got out of doing this to his girlfriends he said 'It's not about the feeling because it don't feel good (physically) it's about looking down and seeing what your doing to another human being and getting off on total dominance of the partner'. I hope this helps you make up your mind, the more females that refuse this type of treatment and the people pushing it, the better for us all, after all the woman is the first teacher of the child in life. Just because the other lemmings are running blindly off the cliff doesn't mean you have to follow. IF IT FEELS WRONG TO YOU DON'T DO IT ! for your own sake.

[gyrator53]

I still think the best answer is to tell him

"Well ok. What size dildo do you want me to use on you?" Then when his head explodes and he says "No, I want to have Anal with you!" Then tell him "Well thats ok but you first!" Whats good for the goose is great for the gander.

If he goes for it I'll bet you a dollar he is going to use lots of lube. Let you control how fast he penetrates and is simply much better at doing it.

Good luck!

Phoebee - I like the way your mind works!

Question is - would he realise that he is being made a suggestion he shouldn't refuse? We came to the conclusion years ago that my lovely wife would never manage to accommodate me there but I'm more than happy with the first part of the deal.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Sassy snape,

Lots of women love anal penetration, not all, but many find it enjoyable.

In men, the prostate is up there, and can deliver great amounts of pleasure.

Monkeys "sodomise" each other, and we evolved from them, so saying that it's "unnatural" is simply wrong.

It's not something for everyone, but critisising it for the sake of a few old books that were from such homophobic times that anything to do with an anus meant that someone was gay and would suffer for all eternity because of it.

As for the domination aspect? Some people like to be dominated, and others like to dominate. People have the right to do what they please.

Anyway, do you have any idea how many gay people are getting penises up their bum without doctors and antiseptic sponges? Lots. Lots and lots. How many are dying of bum cancer? And how many are just enjoying themself?

[Phoebee]

Fire on the idea of DH swallowing. We normally do (me) oral first then intercourse but he thought that maybe I would like oral after intercourse so he got a real taste for himself. It didn't put him off EVER doing it but... He doesn't care for his own taste as much as mine. And I admit I don't like kissing him after he does oral on me so we've come to an agreement on that.

Staying clean doing Anal sex an issue but this think you describe? What the heck?
As to Sodomy. Oral sex is classified legally as Sodomy correct? So hopefully you've never had or given oral sex to your wife?

Personally my take on the Biblical context and the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is that Lot was protecting the two Angels from a crowd of men who wanted to rape them. The sin I think is the attempted mass rape of two "Men" they didn't know they were God's angels. As an act of love between two married people is (my opinion) a different thing.

[SinisterUrge]

Luckily the Bible says nothing about my wife or my dominatrix doing me up the chuff with a prosthetic of some kind. Prostate stimulation achieved and eternal bliss to boot!

Just be sure to stay-away from those shrimp cocktails too. Blasphemy even with horseradish sauce.

[tmmanus]

lots of issues here

First, if you absolutely don't want to try this, you shouldn't.
If you are willing to try, it can be done with out pain with lots of lube, going slow, lots of communication, relaxation, and preperation like starting with smaller things to get your butt used to penetration. A web search can give you lots of good information on doing this.

On the issue of his butt, he has said he's interested in new things, so you should suggest it. I love prostate massage and penetration by my wife, we don't do it all the time but it's a fun alternative now and then. It's not gay (the standard response) as long as it's you and him doing it. It doesn't have to involve him dressing up like a women or anything like that, that's a different thing entirely, he is a man beign stimulated by a women, not a man pretending to be a women. And it's very intimate and exciting.

I'm sure you don't want to make this confrontational, but if he says he wants to try new things, you can then certainly suggest you explore all aspects of anal play. If he says he doesn't want to be penetrated because it's a turnoff for him, or he thinks it's wierd, thats fine too, but if those are legitimate reasons for him to not try anal play they certainly are for you, too. For him to be put in the situation of considering whether or not to recieve anal penetration should help him understand where you are coming from.

[owlhunter]

I still think the best answer is to tell him

"Well ok. What size dildo do you want me to use on you?" Then when his head explodes and he says "No, I want to have Anal with you!" Then tell him "Well thats ok but you first!" Whats good for the goose is great for the gander.

If he goes for it I'll bet you a dollar he is going to use lots of lube. Let you control how fast he penetrates and is simply much better at doing it.

Good luck!

Pheobee - you are so cool. I agree with your idea.

My lady and I actually have the exact deal as you suggest. Have had from the beginning. What happens to the goose happens to the gander (where anatomically possible).

We are discussing a bigger dildo for our strapon. I use it on her bum when my ED problems strike. Re other comments above: She loves anal, and can even O from it.

But with the deal she and I have, you can imagine the interesting discussions on the choice of the size of the next dildo. Funny actually, and kind of sexy.

To young lady who started this thread: Follow Pheobee's advice, and have a safe word. Always have a safe word, and use it as is appropriate. Slowly, slowly slowly. Don't let him rush you.

And if you try it, and really don't like it, and don't think that will ever change, then tell him so. Put it on the Never Ever list.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think you are focusing too much on what "he wants" and that you feel "bad" if you don't let him because it is something "he wants".

The fact that you firstly said, ok i'll let you know, then followed that with another post straight under with "I dunno", means YOU don't want to yet... Your not ready.

If you have fear you will have fear when he tries and that's not going to work for either of you.

Tell him, that you don't mind experiementing with anything that you feel comfortable with, but your not comfortable to do this yet.

You off course love him, but quit asking me, your making me feel quilty and that's not fair..

I'll let you know when i am ready, but as for experiementing what else shall we try?

Sort of give a negative with a positive whilst letting him know that when your ready, not to make you feel guilty so giving him the sub-conscious thoughts to work with.

Don't do something your not ready to do.

CW

[Uneeklyme]

Luckily the Bible says nothing about my wife or my dominatrix doing me up the chuff with a prosthetic of some kind. Prostate stimulation achieved and eternal bliss to boot!

Just be sure to stay-away from those shrimp cocktails too. Blasphemy even with horseradish sauce.

LOL

In many countries it is known as SODOMY and is punishable by death. In the Christian Bible, Muslim Koran and Jewish Torah it is also known as SODOMY and is very much a sinful act in the eyes of whatever you choose to call your God. If you have nothing to do with religion at this stage of your life look at why someone would need to perform such an act on you in the name of 'love'.

The word sodomy and its origins are all religious based. Not everyone is religious but if you really want to go there lets talk about the king james version of the bible...translated for (queen) james a flaming gay king. As far as why someone would need to perform such and act in the name of love... For some people its physical pleasure and has nothing to do with love. Sex is sex, sex with love is enhanced sex. I personally like being dominated so if dominance is what he is feeling...more power to him and two consenting adults having anal sex in the privacy of their own bedroom (bathroom, kitchen, living room, car...wherever) is a far cry from a porn star taking 4 different men up her as* in the span of 12 minutes... The question wasnt asking for opinions on weather she would burn in if she had anal sex.

Anal isnt something you should do if you dont want to and if you do decide to do it...go slowwwww, be clean, never go from back to front, there is no such thing as to much lube, time, or trust. Anal can give some incredibly intense orgasms and can be very pleasurable for women as well as men.