[acchaladka]

I just want to discount the point that all women are bisexual. I'm not homophobic but sex with another women really (honest) doesn't do anything for me. And I have had an offer! ;-)

I totally agree (that not everyone is bisexual or gay - I'll believe you about the offer)!

[anonymouswhitefemale]

They've been done already to the point of : "Dump the queer before he gives you aids."

pretty much.

[Guest]

This may sound a little off topic at first, but I've done a little mentoring over the past 8 years on leadership in my organization. One of the things that I have always turned to is the close you eyes and just come to the answer technique. I teach and preach it and pretty much everyone has agreed it's the hardest thing to do and the easiest choice they have ever made. It goes like this...

close your eyes and ask yourself what you you want and then what the right thing to do is. Hopefully they are the same thing. If you have to talk yourself into doing or not doing something, then it's not the right decision.

where people have trouble (me too) is facing the work or pain that accompanies doing the right thing. Once you've accepted that it is right regardless of how much it hurts, getting there is remarkably easy. I have just had to do that on an emotional issue and although it's still very painful, It's easy.

I wish you happiness.

[Fire(m)]

N01. Brilliant words. Concise, simply put, but very eloquent. Thanks for sharing those gems.

Cheers.

[Guest]

thanks!

187 posts to go...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

acchaladka

Firstly, welcome to the Forum. I always have up-most respect for those whom read something and join for the purpose of offering their personal in-sight, and appreciate that this is the "internet" so know one knows a person but it's all good.

I will say that I do agree with "write it down" pros and cons..

As a business person I often use this method myself and I have learnt to do the same in relationships, and have advised many a friend to do the same when they are "confused" as that's the bottom line i feel.

No1

As a "white witch" haha, visualisation is also a technique that i believe in. If you can see in front of you, a clear picture it kind of answers your question.

PS: 187? You've reached 31, private message away god help us all...

[Guest]

usually I am a visual person, but when i try that I can see things happening that in reality will never be, nor should they. but that's just me.

dont see the PM button or the white text entry tab you mentioned, so I guess it's 143 posts to go ... hee hee

[acchaladka]

They've been done already to the point of : "Dump the queer before he gives you aids."

pretty much.

Yayyyyyy, empathy and understanding, I love it. Are you saying I should try posting the topic again just to check the actual percentages in the responses?

(Don't worry moderators, I'm dumb but not insane. Yet.)

I do have to say that I think I can only be happy with a woman who understands that trust is trust and I'm not going to cheat with a man anymore than I would with a woman. And that being bisexual does not mean you NEED to have sex with both genders or anyone but your lawfully wedded / dearly beloved.

NO1, I like too, thanks for that. ChandlersWish, thanks for the welcome and the props! I can't find the PM button either...it's probably sitting right in the middle of the FAQ, so please pretend I didn't ask.

[Little]

Can't PM until a certain number of posts ... what number that is, we just don't know yet.
As a bisexual woman, I'm certain I catch a lot less flak than bisexual men on the "cheating" idea ... mostly because many men find girl-on-girl arousing, while few women find man-on-man attractive.
I will say that it is "different" to cheat on a man with a girl, than with another man, but that it is still CHEATING, still rather unforgivable (though I've been forgiven it in past relationships,) and still hurtful to the people in question.

[Lightness]

This post really hit home because I've been exactly where you are.

My ex boyfriend and I were in a relationship for over 7 years. We lived together for 3 of those years.

When we first lived together I stumbled across an email sent by him or to him (I can't remember now) that was about sex with another guy. I asked him about it. Guess what? He said he was just curious! He was bored and just liked the attention. He had posted a picture of his naked body from the chest down. Well I believed it and never thought of it again.

About 5 years later, I'll never really know what clued me in, but one day I had a suspicion of something. I broke into his email. I didn't really notice anything and then decided to check yahoogroups.com with the same login and password. There was a yahoo group listed called something like Jimsblkride. My ex boyfriend's name is Jim. In this group were pictures and videos. I started going through the pictures. Hmmm, that room looks familiar. That nightstand looks familiar. Wait, that's my bedroom! That's my apartment! That's my boyfriend sucking another man. Wait, there are two other men. My boyfriend is on the receiving end of these two guys. Neither of the guys had a condom on. My boyfriend RECEIVES anal sex!! I think I almost had a heart attack. Then, I found the videos. Gang Bangs! And it looked like Jim was the star of the show!

In our sex life together he was always the aggressive one. Later, in conversation, he said he liked to be "used" by men.

I, like you, still loved him. He had been my rock for 6 years! My best friend, my best lover! I was not strong enough to leave him for good. He moved to another state, I never saw anyone else, I still loved him. We talked daily and I still felt connected. He eventually said he wanted to marry me, he came back.

Long story short, he got some other woman pregnant in the other state. He moved back to be with the baby.

Basically fate rode in and saved me from myself!

After the illusion and confusion and started to leave me I was left with this:

He lied.
He cheated.
He risked my life.
He used me.
He used my home.

I'm still angry. I want to tell his whole family, friends, exactly who he is. But I don't. It won't make me feel any better if I expose him.

I hope fate rides in for you too. Something to make it easier to break it off. This life is short, don't waste as many years as I did!