[Fire(m)]

sierrawas...it really sounds like he is interested in himself. I am all for you. I know you made your goal of celibacy for a reason. It was a legitimate reason and I think probably an intelligent decision at the time. I began to think from your original posting that maybe it was time that you reconsider your celibacy...but the more I read from you, the more I question my original judgement. If you're going to let it go, it should be to someone you believe is "worthy". Not someone who is trying to accomplish his own personal goal with your mentality and your body. My vote is "wait". I hope you don't perceive my messages to be conflicting...but please understand that in light of the additional information you provided, and the opinions of others, I am inclined to agree with them.

Cheers.

[WildChild]

Well, what do you want? Are you looking for "the" one or do you just want to get back in the game? Nothing wrong with a relationship based on sex so long as you Both understand what it is. You've said he shows signs of feeling more, it that what you want? There is power in making a man want you, the question is what you want to do with him if and when you get him?

[Hystorm]

From what you have told us, there was NO reason to be celibate.
No time…working...that is not the real reason. You and only you must face the real reason you decided to cancel all intimacy with a man.
As for what you have told us about him and what he has said and acted...I would bail...do not have sex with this man!
He most likely will not stick around long after, unless you are giving it to him on a regular basis. This does not sound like a healthy relationship, or even the start of one.
I could be totally wrong about all the above and rather hope I am but since you have made it this long, five years, you really should consider all the variables. Just look at it like a person sober for 5 years would. Is it worth going off the wagon after 5 years of success? Is he really the one or just another Horney guy that will scrog and jog?!

Be vary weary of his motives. Try this, tell him that you would rather get married first before you have sex and see how he reacts. If he is in it just for the sex and ready to bounce once its over, he will turn white then green. If he is actually interested in you the women, then he will not have a problem with it other than the time it would take to wait until the wedding night.

Best of luck to you.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

After a few more converstions with him, he still states if I'm ready to have sex with him yet,

But, what else is he doing other than just having conversations with you?

Are you going out to dinner, movies, walks, do you laugh together?

Or, is it all conversation only, and those words spoken, are you ready.....

That will be in the answer you are looking for...

CW

[natalie]

yes, its your choice so if you want to then by all means go for it

[Guest]

well jeeze if that's all it takes, I'd like to be the first person you have sex with and I'm only as far as Mount Airy! lol

seriously though, it sounds like it's just a "challenge" thing to him. after all, he said it was just a month or so ago with someone else. is that what you really want, someone who just got it somewhere else recently?

Still not sure what it is you want though. Do you want to have sex with him or just have sex? Is it just sex for yuo or is it feelings too? If it's just sex that's one thing. if it's feelings too, go back and re-read the part about him getting some elsewhere a month ago.

maybe what you should do is refrain from chatting with him for awhile and see if it really is him you want.

[msfoxy03]

stick with it

Ok , I have been exactly where you are with the celebacy situation. The differences is that I decided to give it up for this one guy. He knew that I had not been touched for a long time and it turned him on even more. He was willing to wai until I was ready to have sex though. No pressure at all.

Now my reason for celebacy was because I promissed myself that the next man that touched me would be my husband, and I felt like he was the one.

This guy want to take something from you that is very precious. you are holding on to a gift that all men want to recieve from their wife. why give it to someone who will not appreciate it, or YOU in general. I agree with all those who feel that he is making you his personal challenge. You are already aware that he is not looking for a relationship, so he's not worth it.

[sierrawas]

To wildchild: at fisrt I did want to just get back into the game, but now I also want to have a relationship as well. To Chandler wish: it's all conversations on the telephone but not as much as before and no we have not gone out since the last outing. To NO1: thanks for the offer, lol. To msfoxy03; Thank you. There are times when I feel that I am ready, than I'll change my mind and not want to any more. I feel so confused. Is there a reason why I'm confused.

[Guest]

If you have to talk yourself into something, then you really don't want to do it.

if you are not sure (and it sounds like you aren't), don't do it!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

To wildchild: at fisrt I did want to just get back into the game, but now I also want to have a relationship as well. To Chandler wish: it's all conversations on the telephone but not as much as before and no we have not gone out since the last outing. To NO1: thanks for the offer, lol. To msfoxy03; Thank you. There are times when I feel that I am ready, than I'll change my mind and not want to any more. I feel so confused. Is there a reason why I'm confused.

Lets do the highlighting. lol good sense of humor good for you...

WHAT effort is this man making to make you his?

YOU want and you are ready for sex and A REALTIONSHIP.

HE talks only on a telephone but not very much.

YOU haven't gone out since the last outing..

YOUR CONFUSED is there a reason?

Um INTUITION?

He wants to BE THE FIRST, PURE AND SIMPLE and leave you at the gate afterwards.

You are way ready and HOPING it's something.

Either sow those oats, and just have sex to remember and FEEL, and DO or else, kick him to the curb real quick and get out there and date so you can find the one that will GIVE and GIVE and LOVE and have a realtionship.

TRUST YOUR INTUITION...

Read what you wrote and that I highlighted.



CW