[Gippy11]

I really don't know of most men that aren't interested in having sex with our wives or girlfriends. If it was up to me (most of us) we would have sex every night. It seems like it's always on the women. I wish I would come home from work and my wife would be waiting for me wearing some sexy type outfit (obviously with the kids in the house this isn't going to be a realality for a while). What man would be able to turn that down? Next time your man goes into the shower, go in with him. Or change into that sexy outfit or your birthday suit and start playing with yourself on the bed. Do you seriously think he is not going to be interested? Just use your imagination ladies. Guys like sexy scenarios, with sexy, ****ty type outfits. High heels and leather boots, really get into it. You won't be dissapointed and if you are there are probably some deeper issues there.

[rcoreyus]

Some men and some women just are not interested. Its very difficult for me to understand since I would make love to my wife whenever she wanted, but judging from many other posts, it seems that some people (of both genders) just don't feel that way. Sexy outfits, flowers, whatever don't make any difference - and may just be seen as a crude attempt to get more sex.

I wish more of the people who were not interested in sex would post - but I suspect they don't view it as important and wouldn't read a sex blog.

[Nyoko]

Same for me. Before it was always him wanting it and bugging me for it. Now its complete opposite. I want it and he is not interested and makes no attempt. Back when he wanted it and I didn't I made the attempt to get turned on. He don't even try! Ive tried stripping down, doing strip teases, and playing with myself. It don't work. And it just hurts to be turned down like that. I'm called pretty and really attractive by others but I still have low self esteem, and him not wanted me makes it lower. He never even goes down on me... He would rather sleep all day!

[rcoreyus]

Oh Nyoko, why are so many couples not in sync. Maybe over time and asking so many times, he decided you weren't interested, and so now he has lost interest.

[p3375]

Hate to bring this up, but is he getting sex somewhere else? That was the reason my husband (now x) quit jumping me every couple of days.
P

[Anonymous820]

I know exactly how you feel. It's frustrating because I always thought men were the genders notorious for wanting sex all the time, and also because my bf and I are only 20! On good weeks, we'll have sex once every 3 days or so, but sometimes it's weeks until I end up getting him to do it with me. He's never the one to initiate and it makes me feel like I'm ugly and/or fat and/or i gross him out in some other way, or I'm bad at it. if I could have sex every day, multiple times a day, I would love to, but he's just never interested. I give way more bj's than I get sex.
It sucks.

OMG I thought I was the only one. I get sex maybe once a month sometimes once every 2 months. It sucks. I tell him about it and he says I am acting ridiculious. It just really upsets me. He is always wanted me to do things to him but if I want something forget it. I always think to myself that I must be gross/ugly/fat etc. Just the other day he made it clear that he wanted something but then when he realized that I wanted some too he got all ****y. When I started to kiss him he told me that was enough. It made my heart fall into my stomach and it just hurts so bad.

[Anonymous820]

I really don't know of most men that aren't interested in having sex with our wives or girlfriends. If it was up to me (most of us) we would have sex every night. It seems like it's always on the women. I wish I would come home from work and my wife would be waiting for me wearing some sexy type outfit (obviously with the kids in the house this isn't going to be a realality for a while). What man would be able to turn that down? Next time your man goes into the shower, go in with him. Or change into that sexy outfit or your birthday suit and start playing with yourself on the bed. Do you seriously think he is not going to be interested? Just use your imagination ladies. Guys like sexy scenarios, with sexy, ****ty type outfits. High heels and leather boots, really get into it. You won't be dissapointed and if you are there are probably some deeper issues there.

I've tried putting on sexy outfits for my man and nothing but he does have a shoe fetish and he gets turned on when I wear heels but he still only wants me to give to him and never anything in return. Explain that.

[Hopeless Dork]

I've tried putting on sexy outfits for my man and nothing but he does have a shoe fetish and he gets turned on when I wear heels but he still only wants me to give to him and never anything in return. Explain that.

Does he understand that you are a sexual person too or does he think he is the only person with those physical desires in this relationship. You ask for an explanation and the only one that pops out of my mind is "he sounds selfish".

How long have you guys been together and has the sex ever been good to you? If so when did things change? Have you tried talking to him about the way it makes you feel when he isn't in the mood for sex and even when he is its not really focused on bringing you pleasure?

Is he affectionate and loving in other ways or is this just a symptom of him being overall distant?

[Texasred]

I went through this. I obsessed on myself. What am "I" doing wrong? Am I too fat? Am I not sexy enough for him? Is he more interested in TV or the computer then me? What happened to change him from "bothering me" all the time for sex to not even being willing?...

Girls its worth asking a different question. Is it "possible" that he has a problem? ...

DH has Hypogonadism. Some people call it "male Menopause" but in his case it wasn't natural aging it was simply testicles that were not producing enough male hormones. We think in his case Mumps when he was 17. Anyway its important to note that there are many things that can cause the same kind of problem. Thyroid problems is another one for example. Some men's testes just shut down at an early age etc. Anyway, his doctor put him on a drug called Androgel. This is a gel thats full of testosterone and is rubbed into the skin to give him normal levels.

I was just astonished. He went from being a real car wreck into a really great guy. Testosterone is not just about sex drive. Its mood, energy, memory, thinking etc. It doesn't solve everything overnight but piece by piece I've gotten DH back!

We have had more sex in the last two weeks then we did in two years of him being goofed up. He takes injections now (Cost is lower) but DO go check out the Androgel site. They have an online quiz that you or he can take to give you an idea if he should have his hormones tested.


Hugs - Phoebee

I know I'm responding to a very old post, but some of this might still be relevant.
First, this condition is commonly called "Low-T," the blood test for it is simple, and is a check for "Free Testosterone," "Total testosterone," and (I think) "Sex-binding hemoglobin" or sex-binding something-or-other.

In addition to Androgel, there is another gel treatment called Testim that, according to my doctor at least, is more effective in some men.

In addition, very recent studies (see the 2004 medical conference of the International Society for the Study of the Aging Male, papers online) have shown that ED is often related to low-T, and in many cases the common ED drugs won't work if there is low testosterone.

What is the downside of the testosterone therapy? Well, having the libido of a 19-year-old does require a certain degree of physical fitness...

And of course, usual disclaimers, your mileage may vary, etc.

- TR

[WildChild]

There are more reasons that sex to check this. Low-T can result in weight gain, osteoparosis, memory loss, low energy - a host of health problems.