[Texasred]

i know how you feel. I am in the same boat. What is sad is that we have only been married for 4 months. I keep trying and always get shut down. Usually only get sex once every month if that. Really is depressing.I am 25 and he is 31 maybe that makes a difference don't really know.Was working two jobs so his excuse was that we never have time together. Have actually been off work the past week and he still has no interest in me. bummed out! Any suggestions?

Here's a suggestion: Tell him you love him and you want to have sex with him. Right now!
And if not, find out why not. Age 31 is really young yet, age shouldn't be any kind of problem.
Find out what the problem is. One thing I can tell you is that having sex makes you want it more, not less.

[johnsachs75]

I have two thoughts:

First, if you are really making an effort to get your partner in the mood and he is not responding, then there may be a significant porn-issue involved. If your guy used to have a healthy sex drive but now he does not, it is very unlikely that it just went away. It is most likely being redirected to porn.

I know you are thinking "no - not my guy." But I am telling you, if you really have been making an attempt to be sexual with your partner and he is not responding, then I will bet you dollars to donuts that he has a porn-issue. This is the ugly truth.

But this assumes that you actually ARE making a real effort to contribute to your sex life - which leads to the second point.

I know I am going to get flamed for this, but for some reason, so many women seem to think that they do not have to do any work to help maintain their sexual relationship. For some reason they think that as long as they throw on a sexy nighty once every eight or nine months, that should be enough to keep their husband or boyfriend sexually interested in them. It doesn't work that way.

Let me put it another way that women can better understand. Let's say you do most of the housework. Your husband's an ok guy, and if you specifically ask him to do things, he usually does. But he very rarely will take the intiative to do something like wash the dishes or fold the laundry, and when you do ask him to do something, you can often tell he's not really all that thrilled about doing it. This goes on for years.

Should he expect you to be thrilled during those few random times that he takes the initiative and actually does some housework without you asking?

It's like TheOldMan said, its not a switch you can just turn on and off. You can't put little to no effort into the sexual aspect of your relationship and then be surprised when you turn around one day and find that your husband or boyfriend isn't sexually interested in you anymore.

[LanaBear]

Thread goes back to 2008. Plenty of newer threads with similar topics.

Closing this thread.