[Sugar2022]

I'm interested in knowing if anyone else has advice on a lubricant for vaginal and oral sex that doesn't decrease penis sensation. Also, that would be considered a "safe" lubricant for the prevention of fungal and bacterial infections. Situation - male partner with post chemo/stem cell neuropathy and decreased sensation issues but still interested in sex. Also, the added issue of a compromised immune system and heart infection, again still interested in sex LOL. Coconut oil is working but seems to coat too much and maybe decrease penis sensation I'm thinking. Would love any feedback or experience anyone else has advice on.

[Alison H.]

Most lubes should not decrease sensation unless they have ingredients meant to do so (like lidocaine, for instance) — but those are generally used by folks dealing with premature ejaculation.

So it could be that part of the decrease in sensation is related to the neuropathy, rather than the coconut oil specifically, but a lightweight lube might help to ensure that he’s feeling as much as he can during sex.

In looking for a lubricant that has antifungal, antimicrobial, and antiseptic properties, something aloe-based is a very good way to go, as aloe vera gel offers all of those (and is anti-inflammatory, as well).

Some lighter-weight safe lubes with an aloe base that we recommend the highest include:

Aloe Cadabra — made from completely safe ingredients (aloe, being the main one)

AH! YES WB — also made from completely safe ingredients (aloe base)

Additionally, 100% pure aloe vera gel is a good lube on its own. If you have a plant, you can scrape the gel straight from the leaf (just be sure to remove it completely from the yellow rind, as that’s natural latex).

If you buy aloe vera gel, it has to be 100% pure with NO added ingredients (no fragrances, no other stuff, just the aloe). But that can be safe option as well.

Keep in mind that it’s only a fit for vaginal or oral sex; aloe is a little too thin for anal (and additionally, it’s pH is too low for anal sex as well).

Edited to add:

Aloe DOES contain natural latex (in the rind) so if either of you has a latex allergy, that is a consideration. Aloe Cadabra removes the gel thoroughly from the leaf so there are no traces of latex, however, if you use aloe gel from a plant, you need to remove it carefully and be sure to patch test it on the skin prior to use, to make sure there won't be any reaction.

[EmptyNester]

My wife & I don't always need to use lube with sex. But, when we do we use Aloe Cadabra. I think it feels great and she typically only requires a small dab (dime size) to get things started. We have never had to reapply either.

[Julie Pefferman]

Hey! Totally feel you — my partner also dealt with nerve sensitivity after a health scare, and we were super cautious about infection too. Coconut oil was okay at first, but same issue — too thick and kinda dulled sensation.

We switched to a glycerin-free woman pleasure lubricant, and it made a big difference. It’s slick but not greasy, works great for vaginal and oral, and doesn’t mess with pH or cause irritation. Plus, no funky taste or burning.

Really helped us feel connected again without the worry. Hope that helps — sending good vibes your way!

[Wednesday L.F.]

I find that natural lubes like aloe and coconut oil are absorbed by skin and need to be reapplied. Aloe Cadabra is formulated not to do that.