[WildChild]

Been reading here for a while but couldn't resist this one, so I joined. I wish this post was a joke! I agree that men can - mine does occasionally - go over board on self pleasure. When he's getting himself off 5 or 6 times a day and me a couple times a week I feel left out. But it works both ways and a lady can take care of herself, it's not as good for me but it keeps me from climbing the walls. This poster doesn't seems at first glance to just not get it but with a closer read is looking for justification to get into some level of BDSM. If you want to try it then be honest and talk to him about it don't turn it into something that is "needed" or justified by His behavior when it's about your needs. You've got a little kink, probably feel uncomfortable with it and are looking for a way to feel good about it to avoid feeling guilty or kinky. That's the path to acting without self knowledge and leads to excesses of a dangerous kind. If you want to explore talk to him about it but keep it honest!

If this is really about self control and using abstinance as a way to increase pleasure later, why not look into the Tantra? He can learn to orgasm without ejaculating and to prolong and control his pleasure. You can learn to do the same for yourself. But it's about choice and self control rather than being controlled.

[Free Bird]

With all due respect, the entire concept seems insecure to an unhealthy degree.

The core issue is the idea that you are in competition with your husband's right hand. As though it were stealing from your relationship. Not true at all.

To be blunt, masturbation is clearing the system. But if it weren't practiced, your husband would engage in sexual activity with you focused on his own needs; this would transform your intimacy in to the "quick fix." If he regularly masturbates, he is instead focused on you and the bond you share when becoming intimate.

It's a common, healthy practice individually and in relationship.

Please keep this in mind before taking the next step. Which might be renovating your basement in to a medievil dungeon.

[Muskitos]

Wow, reading this post my first thougth was : PCJ and I come from a different planet!

I completely agree with Fire(m): if a guy or a girl wants to cheat, believe me: they will!
If they are committed to their relationship, they wan't, it is as simple as that.

I know my partner gets turned on by nice boops or attractive women he sees during the day. And I love the thought. It makes him horny and guess who gets the benifit of that?

As to MB? I love to watch him MB. I MB myself mostly when we are not together or when he wants to watch me.
But I do agree with previous statements, it should never mean that the other partner does not get enough sex because of the MB.

However I believe that the more we stay sexually active (whether by MB or intercourse), the more our sex drive increases, so quite a WIN-WIN situation! LOL

[Blondie:)]

Read Up more...

I don't go for the clearing the system deal either. Sorry, I don't mean any disrespect to you but read up a little more about this whole subject to know the problems that follow not just to your health but marriage as well. I have to agree with Phoebee as she quotes ...("When a man spends his sexual energy on his right hand it takes away from "us" and thats not fair.")
Masterbation in excess is dangerous. Frequent masturbation and ejaculation stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions excessively, resulting in the over production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters such as acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin. Abundant and unusually amount of these hormones and neurotransmitters can cause the brain and adrenal glands to perform excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversion and turn the brain and body functions to be extremely sympathetic. In other words, there is a big change of body chemistry when one excessively pratices masturbation.
Have you ever wondered why you do not last long enough when having sex? Well , if you program your system to hurry up for years by masterbating, how can you expect it to last? This is simple yet seem complicated to 90% of men.
Masterbation does affect your vision and yes it is the leading cause of hairloss in men and androgenic alopecia. DHT or dihydratetestosterone is the leading cause of hairloss in men. By masterbating and changing your body chemistry you are overproducing testosterone and therefore its byproduct DHT. DHT clings to hair follicles and weakens them.

With all due respect, the entire concept seems insecure to an unhealthy degree.

The core issue is the idea that you are in competition with your husband's right hand. As though it were stealing from your relationship. Not true at all.

To be blunt, masturbation is clearing the system. But if it weren't practiced, your husband would engage in sexual activity with you focused on his own needs; this would transform your intimacy in to the "quick fix." If he regularly masturbates, he is instead focused on you and the bond you share when becoming intimate.

It's a common, healthy practice individually and in relationship.

Please keep this in mind before taking the next step. Which might be renovating your basement in to a medievil dungeon.

[ChelseaRenee]

I don't go for the clearing the system deal either. Sorry, I don't mean any disrespect to you but read up a little more about this whole subject to know the problems that follow not just to your health but marriage as well. I have to agree with Phoebee as she quotes ...("When a man spends his sexual energy on his right hand it takes away from "us" and thats not fair.")
Masterbation in excess is dangerous. Frequent masturbation and ejaculation stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions excessively, resulting in the over production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters such as acetylcholine, dopamine and serotonin. Abundant and unusually amount of these hormones and neurotransmitters can cause the brain and adrenal glands to perform excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversion and turn the brain and body functions to be extremely sympathetic. In other words, there is a big change of body chemistry when one excessively pratices masturbation.
Have you ever wondered why you do not last long enough when having sex? Well , if you program your system to hurry up for years by masterbating, how can you expect it to last? This is simple yet seem complicated to 90% of men.
Masterbation does affect your vision and yes it is the leading cause of hairloss in men and androgenic alopecia. DHT or dihydratetestosterone is the leading cause of hairloss in men. By masterbating and changing your body chemistry you are overproducing testosterone and therefore its byproduct DHT. DHT clings to hair follicles and weakens them.

Actually the biggest problem for men who masturbate frequently is not them coming too fast when they have sex, it's them not coming at all. Years of getting off exactly how you want to and thinking about/watching exactly what you want to then even a vagina will become second rate.

And I really think you'd have to jerk off til your d*ck fell off to have any REAL medical issues. Like, 10 times a day excessive.

[Richard S]

Any sexual practice can be taken too far, to the point where it's destructive to the person's ability to maintain a healthy sexual connection with their partner.

I'd dare to guess that more relationships are ruined by people acting out with other people, compared to acting out via what Shakespeare called "The Solitary Vice."

[Phoebee]

I can see why you might think its insecurity to not want to compete with a man's masturbation habit but thats really not it. Most of the men I know are good for one (good) orgasm a day. Maybe two but not for long. If the guy is "jerking off" those are days he could be having sex with me thats lost.

And one other point. I don't think you men see how you change after you Climax. Most of seem to have this "I don't give a _____ about you" crabby feeling that goes on after sex and even lasts into the next day. One of my past BFs was so bad I just broke up with him. I think he was also spending a lot of time "doing" himself which equaled even more after sex crabby moods. I think that once you get married and are in a commitment you clear out the pipes with your SO not your hand.

With all due respect, the entire concept seems insecure to an unhealthy degree.

The core issue is the idea that you are in competition with your husband's right hand. As though it were stealing from your relationship. Not true at all.

To be blunt, masturbation is clearing the system. But if it weren't practiced, your husband would engage in sexual activity with you focused on his own needs; this would transform your intimacy in to the "quick fix." If he regularly masturbates, he is instead focused on you and the bond you share when becoming intimate.

It's a common, healthy practice individually and in relationship.

Please keep this in mind before taking the next step. Which might be renovating your basement in to a medievil dungeon.

[Dalyarogue]

whoa whoa whoa...

...When aroused at anytime he will never be able to become erect which will cause him to fight his feelings of sexual mind wondering. During this moment of physical and mental exercise he will feel the pressure and sometimes pain associated with being bound. The pressure reminds him of his wife being with him at all times - essentially it is like he is getting a hug and a sense of belonging. He will be reminded of the KEY HOLDER, his wife. This reminder is not of submissive and dominate situation it is a reminder of a team relationship. He cannot help but think of her.

A man should NEVER CUM W/O HIS WIFE being a part of it. I do not need to go into detail here; there are countless ways for a significant other to have her man cum, from the very kinky to the sweet and subtle. He will be forced to figure out how to communicate, of course with your guidance and support......
There is much more to write about Male Chastity, all of which is logical, respectful, and loving. I will start with what I wrote and will continue if there is interest.

WOW! I don't know about you guys but this actually sounds very creepy. He can't become erect and will feel pressure and pain??? To remind him of his wife?! HE CAN'T CUM WITHOUT THE KEY HOLDER?!

Um... suppression and pain are not healthy in any circumstance. Masturbation is healthy. It does not mean a man is thinking about another woman, and it does not cause a man to lose focus or love his wife/girlfriend any less.

Why shouldn't a man be allowed to become erect? Sounds sexist to me. Now there is a difference between masturbation to take the edge off (you can't see your significant other at the moment, your significant other is not in the mood, etc) and having it turn into a full blown addiction.

This thread is not talking about addictions though. It's talking about male masturbation as being a bad thing. A bad thing that has to be surpressed!

My boyfriend used to masturbate alot before he met me and he can keep up with me wonderfully. I fully agree with Free Bird on this one.

[bbpgurl_michelle]

ok, I am not sure what to say about this post. my man and I have an awesome sex life..with that said, I am not offended at all if he masterbates. he is a few years younger than I am and I feel like his sex drive is a lot stronger than mine. if I am not in the mood, I don't mind at all if he feels good. I have actually bought him toys for this purpose. I have had 3 kids and don't want it near as much as he does. there are times when I have watched him do it and it does not bother me at all....

[ChelseaRenee]

I can see why you might think its insecurity to not want to compete with a man's masturbation habit but thats really not it. Most of the men I know are good for one (good) orgasm a day. Maybe two but not for long. If the guy is "jerking off" those are days he could be having sex with me thats lost.

And one other point. I don't think you men see how you change after you Climax. Most of seem to have this "I don't give a _____ about you" crabby feeling that goes on after sex and even lasts into the next day. One of my past BFs was so bad I just broke up with him. I think he was also spending a lot of time "doing" himself which equaled even more after sex crabby moods. I think that once you get married and are in a commitment you clear out the pipes with your SO not your hand.

Haha, WHAT. I think if he got an "I don't give a ___ about you" attitude AFTER you gave him an orgasm, you guys had bigger issues. That's the first I've ever heard of such behavior. My bf either gets sleepy and cuddly or really energetic/happy.