[4years-girl]

He has even admitted that, if our roles were switched, he too would feel the way I feel. I've told him how I feel about their relationship, and yet nothing has changed. With school starting back up, I'll end up saying something again. I guess it couldn't hurt, though. Maybe I can try to make my point more realized.

I know that snooping in his things was a bad decision. One that I, sadly, have made a few times. If it weren't wrong, I wouldn't feel so horrible afterwards, right? It just shows that I was trying to find something to make me upset.

I really appreciate everyone's input. It gives me more points of view on the situation, which I need.

[Guest]

well based on our posts, I'm not sure he needs to "change". yeah he should probably not text her or go over to her place as much, but unless there's some other indicators that there's more going on, why be so worried?

If you push too hard he may get to the point where he thinks to himself, "why bother with the drama and aggrevation? whateverhernameis doesn't give me such a hard time, maybe..."

there's always the chance that she's actually helping you, by giving him someone to bounce things off of.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Why snoop?

Let's look at this...

He does nothing has a good "female friend" and life goes on, you hold no in-securities....

He does something, then he wasn't worth it was he?

So you need to Trust even if you get hurt.

It's life's lessons... Pick the right one next time, so to speak.

I have male friends, and female friends, if i didn't I wouldn't get the perspective of how things are in life, different perspectives, attitudes, and people are they not?

If i was dating someone who was possessive in this regard, when I know I am the most loyal woman regardless of what's thrown at me, I would think twice about dating him.

I think the key is to "tell" when someone goes beyond the boundries of friendship, to your other half so that they feel secure, likewise, to tell the person you love that she/he is "only" a friend and not have to repeat that over and over again... but in knowing that he/she understands. And, trusts.

CW

[Deliliah]

okay first of all no he cant be friends with whom ever he wants thats how we get cheated on going to the apartment texting all day talking on the phone girl are you crazy i dont care what these chix up here say if you feel like your man is creeping you either gonna find the truth or be miserable because most likely he will deny it but at the end of the day go with your gut instinct because sometimes you cant find proof

[krislynn]

I totally understand what you are talking about. Yes he is allowed to have friends of the op. That is until I fell into my situation that I have similar issues with but a bit more involved and actual reasons not to trust very much. I suspected something and didnt find the truth out for a couple of months. My bf was listed on singles lists and emailing females back and forth and acting as if he was sinlge. I asked him about it got all mad at me for looking into his stuff (computer) and me not trusting him.... He was very controling of everything that I have done and talked to (even my daughter's doctors (my daughter has special needs)) So there was a reason for it I thaught and sure enough I found it. So bottom line if you feel there is a reason search and ask, then go from there.