[bcnu]

Some of the previous post remind me of an occasion when I was in middle school. We were a group of guys in school all hanging out and as many can relate, in middle school everyones hormones are flying. So this girl that was really 'friendly' starting asking every guy, "What would you do tonight if I came to your house?"...and it was funny because all the guys, one by one started saying how they were going to treat her. Some got into sexual details very explicit and others were saying how nice they were going to treat her and spoil her, blah blah...But then it was my turn and since I was the more quiet one, all eyes where on me. So she asks me in a flirtacious tone, "What are you going to do with me tonight?" and I said the first thing that popped in my mind in a very sarcastic tone, "I'm going to sleep". And guess what, she sat on my lap and we chilled for the rest of the day, while all the other guys were like, WTH! In the moment I didnt really know what I had did or said that made her stay, but now I do. Theres a saying we say in spanish, "A la mujer no se le da todo el dinero ni todo el amor" ("Never give a woman all your love nor all your money"). Whether you think thats true or not, it is! Its not exactly the words that count but the meaning behind it that makes sense. I agree with everything that OG has said and expressed because its what works and you don't stop doing something that works. I think we are on the same page: overly confident jerks but with a love streak that can ignite a fire in any womans heart and keep it going. Thats what a REAL man is...

[miss.sin.t.uh]

thats what a real man is????

[OG612]

thats what a real man is????

You ask 100 men "What is a real man" and you'll get about as many different answers. While I do appreciate the sentiment expressed by BCNU, I'm going to disagree.

A "real man" is a man who steps and takes responsibility for what's his without having to be told to. Then again, that's my definition.

OG

[Guest]

I think we are on the same page: overly confident jerks but with a love streak that can ignite a fire in any womans heart and keep it going. Thats what a REAL man is...

This is precisely the reason so many males fail to get the job done.

[bcnu]

Ohthereyouare, whats your definition of a 'real man'? I ask you because you seem to be in a successful relationship, obviously your doing something right.

[SinisterUrge]

I'm assuming people still meet in bars.

Is she a smoker? Ask her for a light.
Is she at a dance club? Ask her to dance.
Heavily tattooed? "hey, nice collection!"

Once the opening is done, gauge the reaction.
"Nice tattoo."
"Um, thanks"

clearly not intrested, move on.

Smile a lot, be jovial. Don't make your pick-up lines sexual, then you've burned a bridge. Keep it platonic. Examine patterns and speech. Don't plan on going home with someone tonight, just keep it simple. Introduce yourself and meet as many people as you can without looking like you're cruising.

After a few fridays (assuming you keep a regular friday bar and a saturday bar) you'll know most of the regulars by name anyway. Keep tabs about who leaves with who, what kind of guys Woman A likes, what kind Woman B likes. Start calling people by name, know what they drink.

"Hey Terry, came in by yourself. Boyfriend working late?" (An example)
By now Terry has seen you before and knows your name if things are going according to plan. Asking about her BF hopefully implies you know she isn't a desperate bar skank. Prompted by the question, she'll tell you BF status

"No, we split up" or "yes, working the late shift". Now you know whether to press the conversation or give a good natured "Well that sucks, I hated working late shift". So on and so forth.

Tip well and get talkative with the bartender, they know whats going on with the regulars.

*Compliment women on their clothes, shoes, accessories. They have no choice in their eye color but can take credit for what they're wearing.

*make sure your apartments clean. If you're bringing someone home they don't want to see your dirty laundry stacked on the couch.

[Guest]

Ohthereyouare, whats your definition of a 'real man'? I ask you because you seem to be in a successful relationship, obviously your doing something right.

Being a "real" man has nothing to do with my relationship with someone else.

Being a real man has everything to do with my relationship with myself.

Do things your are proud of. Be the best person you can be. Show some self control. You'll learn to respect and love yourself for who you are instead of deriving self sastisfaction from your ability to lure women into bed.

My definition - OG summed it up pretty well.. Automatically, and without thought or hesitation taking responsibility for your life. That is being a real man.

Real men don't lure women into their lives....women will follow them there.

[bcnu]

[QUOTE=OhThereYouAre;106507
Real men don't lure women into their lives....women will follow them there.[/QUOTE]


This is true, but I have a question. If a guy doesn't have women following him in his life, does that make him 'not' a real man? For instance, lets say a guy is great, successful, responsible for himself, etc...yet lacks women just dropping in on his life per say. Again, does that make him NOT a real man?

I ask this because there are so many books, classes, etc.. out there that are designed to show guys how to go on dates, how to treat a women, what to say what not to say and more. Obviously, these guys have to do something different thats not part of them or there personality in order to attract a women. Is that considered luring a women into there lives? Are people that participate in these activities or read these books not real men?

What do you guys think?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

As long as they don't attend " How to seduce a Woman" rather, how to date, treat women, then what ever they learn, assists in the knowing of what a woman is and how she thinks and how she should be treated..

That doesn't make him a "real man" I agree with OTYA, it is the same as a "real woman", someone who can un-conditionally love themselves for whom they are internally and therefore, everything else flows... respect, being one of them.

CW

[Guest]

I ask this because there are so many books, classes, etc.. out there that are designed to show guys how to go on dates, how to treat a women, what to say what not to say and more. Obviously, these guys have to do something different thats not part of them or there personality in order to attract a women. Is that considered luring a women into there lives? Are people that participate in these activities or read these books not real men?

What do you guys think?

The crux of most of these self help books/classes and whatnot is developing and having self confidence.

Women pick up on confidence very quickly. They are attracted to it, just as men are attracted to confident women.

The best way to be confident is to become proud/happy/content with yourself.