[CHANDLERS WISH]

LOL as I said, cat in a tin roof.

Just chill... You want him to want you right?

So say nada...

The un-known is always a guessing game that makes them try even harder, the known is well, exactly that, they usually walk, to easy in knowledge.

Down girlfriend.

CW

[Anxiously Waiting]

Standing down....painfully....impatiently...lol.

And I can't believe it, but that book by Margaret Kent is nearly impossible to find, apparently it is a special order! Geez.....

[caterpillar79]

Try Amazon or Borders. I don't know where my friend got it. grrr...she handed it to me days before she got married (apparently, she put the instructions in the book to practice. LOL!)

[caterpillar79]

Girl, it is not bad to give him the signal. Call him, text him email him if you feel like it, just don't do it everyday. Just once in a while (if he responds after the first text, that's a go). But don't bug the poor guy to death, or he'll think you're a stalker. lol!

[Kallygirlie]

Oh how does this remind me of my current relationship. I had known this guy for 2 yrs. He was the boyfriend of my then really close friend. She cheated on him and they split. He posted a blog and I told him if he needed someone to talk to I was here. So he emailed me. at first we emailed back and forth. Him telling me of his heart break, how much he missed his ex, begging me to get her to take him back. Then we started text through out the days. About this and that. He would then tell me about this girl he like or that girl he met. At this point I like him. We would go out to a local country bar and I'd sit there and this girl would keep pulling him away everytime i would open my mouth. I was just the friend so he would walk away to talk to her. We ended up hooking up a few night. Yet I'd still hear about how much he missed his ex or how much loved her or he'd tell me about this other girl who was so beautiful that could so take the place of his ex. UGH!!! I just got irritated. I told him one day that I was starting to have feelings for him and he told me that I was one of his best friends. Talk about heart break. I would drop hints about what it would be like if we dated and he would do the same and then one day he just had a revolation and realized how perfect we were for each other. So we started exploring, needless to say that was 1 and a half ago and we are happily together. All i can say is, if he looking, let him know you are interested. Maybe he's dropping hints to you, maybe he wants to see if you will say something when he's talking about this stuff. I know with my man I started telling him I was going out on dates just so he'd see I wasn't gonna be around forever. it worked. Just open up to him. thats what friends are for right?

[Anxiously Waiting]

Kally I hope my story has an ending like yours!!!!

Soooo, unfortunately he can't come down this weekend...BOO...but we ended up talking for an hour and half yesterday night, and then two and a half hours tonight. And during the conversation he brought up the dating service thing again.....but this time he asked me what is most important in a guy for me, what do I think about being in a relationship, if I believe there is such a thing as love, etc. So I guess that's good right??? And he brought up those topics!!!!

I am gonna go with my best friend to visit her grandmother, and he lives about an hour away from there, so he is gonna come pick me up on Sunday and we are going to spend the day together...So long as he doesn't get called out to work... work....

Well I guess I will let you guys know if he makes some sort of move after the weekend!

[ThexMrs]

I can't wait to hear all about it. I hope it works out.

[caterpillar79]

Oh how does this remind me of my current relationship. I had known this guy for 2 yrs. He was the boyfriend of my then really close friend. She cheated on him and they split. He posted a blog and I told him if he needed someone to talk to I was here. So he emailed me. at first we emailed back and forth. Him telling me of his heart break, how much he missed his ex, begging me to get her to take him back. Then we started text through out the days. About this and that. He would then tell me about this girl he like or that girl he met. At this point I like him. We would go out to a local country bar and I'd sit there and this girl would keep pulling him away everytime i would open my mouth. I was just the friend so he would walk away to talk to her. We ended up hooking up a few night. Yet I'd still hear about how much he missed his ex or how much loved her or he'd tell me about this other girl who was so beautiful that could so take the place of his ex. UGH!!! I just got irritated. I told him one day that I was starting to have feelings for him and he told me that I was one of his best friends. Talk about heart break. I would drop hints about what it would be like if we dated and he would do the same and then one day he just had a revolation and realized how perfect we were for each other. So we started exploring, needless to say that was 1 and a half ago and we are happily together. All i can say is, if he looking, let him know you are interested. Maybe he's dropping hints to you, maybe he wants to see if you will say something when he's talking about this stuff. I know with my man I started telling him I was going out on dates just so he'd see I wasn't gonna be around forever. it worked. Just open up to him. thats what friends are for right?

This is called transference. If you open up and make yourself a good listener, he will seek you. Way to go, girl!

[LanaBear]

Kally I hope my story has an ending like yours!!!!

Soooo, unfortunately he can't come down this weekend...BOO...but we ended up talking for an hour and half yesterday night, and then two and a half hours tonight. And during the conversation he brought up the dating service thing again.....but this time he asked me what is most important in a guy for me, what do I think about being in a relationship, if I believe there is such a thing as love, etc. So I guess that's good right??? And he brought up those topics!!!!

I am gonna go with my best friend to visit her grandmother, and he lives about an hour away from there, so he is gonna come pick me up on Sunday and we are going to spend the day together...So long as he doesn't get called out to work... work....

Well I guess I will let you guys know if he makes some sort of move after the weekend!

Good luck! Let us know how it all works out.

[Anxiously Waiting]

Ooooooooookay....so here is my long winded update:

He ended up asking me to meet me on Saturday instead, which worked out well because we were driving right through where he lives. So me and my best friend stopped at his house and after about an hour and a half we decided to be on our way. Then Mister says "well you can stay here for the night but I have to get a work out in tonight, or you can stay and hang out and I can drop you off later on...." So needless to say I stayed...

We took a drive around the city because I had never been there before, and we stopped at Walmart to pick up junk food for during the movie we were going to watch later. Then we went back to his place and I went to shower and get ready to go out for dinner, while he went to the gym. Went out for dinner and had probably one of the most emotional conversations I have ever had in my life...We talked about everything.....from him watching his mother pass away 8 years ago, to why he hasn't talked to his dad in over 6 months, to the craziness his ex-girlfriend did when they broke up, to my abusive ex-boyfriend from about 7 years ago and why I really haven't dated since (he was asking questions, I didn't just start blabbing about it), to my dad and brother almost dying, and then to problems at work (which is good because I don't think anyone really understands the stresses of policing unless you work in the industry). He was very attentive and supportive. But this is the part where I get confused about whether this is a "best friend" relationship or there is potential for more. He tells me that it seems like I have spent the last 7 years of my life helping everyone else, but what have I done for me? That I have so much positive energy, but he can tell there is still unresolved issues about almost losing my brother and dad, and about the abusive relationship. He suggested joining a women's support group....because he knows I'm the kind of person that wants a relationship with a man to be meaningful, but isn't convinced that that can be fully achieved without me dealing with what happened. He said he believes this is all part of the process of being able to "fill my own glass" before I can help fill someone else's. He then went on to say that he's trying to make sure his "glass is overflowing" before he can be with someone properly, as he is still dealing with a lot of his family issues and work stresses. So based on this conversation....is he not interested in pursuing a relationship with me, but wanting me to get better for myself?

After dinner, I mentioned that I hoped he didn't feel like I was dumping all my drama on him...and he told me that his definition of drama is when people create situations that cause them to be in negative situations, but that I had legitimate reason to be stressed, and he didn't see it like that was what I was doing at all. Then he kept apologzing on the way home for not being able to make it down to where I live, but I told him not to worry, that I understand his job and there was plenty of other weekends. He said he was gonna go through the work calendar and find a couple weekends that he absolutely doesn't have to work, and let me know so we can work something out because he was "really looking forward to spending some time together."

When we got home I changed into my pj's (no lingerie, I promise), and we sat on opposite ends of the couch to watch the movie. He came and pulled out my footrest for me, and covered me with his duvet so that I wouldn't be cold. He knew I had a bit of a head ache so he even got me the bottle of tylenol and a glass of water. After the movie he showed me pics of his brother and his dogs, some pics of his mom, etc. And since it was 2:00 a.m. and he had to be at work for noon, I told him we should probably go to bed.

He came and asked if I needed anything else, and hugged me (didn't try to kiss me). And we did sleep in separate rooms. He checked to make sure the window was locked and the blinds were closed properly...and he brought me an extra blanket just in case. Told me he was leaving his bedroom door open, so just call him or come get him if anything...and off to bed he went.

I didn't wake him up in the morning, I just called my friend to come get me. But I did leave him a note thanking him for having me, for the chat...and explaining that I didn't wake him up because I knew he had a long 12 hour day ahead (I figured since he carries a gun, him being rested was more important than me getting a hug goodbye). He texted me later in the afternoon and said he would probably be down my way this week for work, but he will let me know details as soon as he knows.....and that was that.

Any thoughts?