[Texinator]

Do women turn you on at all, Amber? I'm being serious.

[Amber]

Tex, if you didn't say you were serious, I would have thought that you were teasing me that time.

Honestly, my guess is no. I have seen naked women before on TV and in person and as far as I know, I have not been turned on by them. I have found myself liking what I see when I see some guys. My mind but no physical feelings with it. But women are naked in my gym locker room and not once have I found myself wanting to linger if I see a naked women there.

This might seem petty but it is all I can think of. It must have been over ten years ago. I was standing in a hall way of this place with a guy friend of mine. I liked this guy more than just a friend but he just wanted to be friends. I remember we got really close enough to kiss and I found myself catching my breath. But he pulled away not wanting the relationship to go in that direction. Makes me wonder what that catch of breath was all about. I can tell you it wasn't a scared feeling or a Oh I'm doing something wrong and flinching because was afraid as if getting burned type of feeling. But then I was with that guy plenty of times afterwards and I never felt anything when standing near him.

Ok, maybe I have asked this question ten times in other ways but I'll ask it again. For someone of the opposite sex that you have never kissed before but you are getting aroused by just looking at, what kind of feelings are you getting? Just by looking at him, no touching. I'm guessing guys get different feelings, well may not but obviously in different places. So I guess WC, you need to answer this. Is it tingling and fluttering or it just a tightness down below? All I think I have ever felt is a very little tightness down below or maybe feel like I have to relieve myself when I don't and that was probably from reading a book. If I felt that in the bedroom, I couldn't tell you because it is so subtle for me that I would have missed it because I was too nervous to even feel that.

Something I just thought of. I remember my ex told me that he had felt me wet down below at least on one occasion (I don't remember if it was more than once) when he was touching me down below. But I was very surprised when he told me this because I had not experienced anything wonderful from it. What is happening when a women gets wet down there? Is that arousement even though I had no wonderful feeling with it? I mean I did get the shivering on the rest of the body when he was touching me specifically on other places of my body but there was no feeling that traveled through my entire body or down below that I remember feeling.

[Amber]

You may have "settled" in that relationship and therefore, there was no spark, you weren't madly in love rather, lonely at that time.

I forgot to address this before. There was no feeling of spark. I already established that but I loved him for himself. We had similar interested and there was so many qualities that I loved about him. Maybe as much as I want to call it love, maybe we didn't have enough time to really develop the relationship into that stage. I'm thinking maybe that is why he never liked hearing that word. Maybe he thought it was too soon to even develop those feelings. I definitely had some strong feelings for him, that is a definite given but maybe it wasn't love. But for loneliness, I was around guys all the time before him at different single events. And plenty of those guys tried to hit on me. I could have easily gone for one of them but I didn't. It was him I was attracted to. Once again, even though I did find him cute, I was "attracted" even more to his personality. I guess no matter how I argue this point, once again I have to remember, he is gone.

Speaking of guys hitting on me, I already had one guy do this. I met him when i was just separated from my ex. Not knowing where my relationship with my ex was going and hoping it was still alive, I told this guy that I was separated. It was my way of saying that I'm not looking for anything. He had emailed me after that event and I emailed him back right before the next event I was suppose to be seeing him at. It was right after I broke up with my ex and I wanted to warn this guy to please not bring up the subject. It was too painful to even think of my ex at the time. So when I saw this guy at that next event, he actually asked me if I had wanted to go out with him some time, just as friends.

Ok, what guy who you have just met really wants to go out to eat alone with a woman as just friends? Can you guys see yourself doing that? I told the guy, sorry but after just having broken up with my boyfriend, I would rather just stick to the single events. That was definitely part of it and then there was the other part. Even though the guy seemed nice, I most definitely was not attracted to his appearance. My ex, I believe I was, this guy no. And there was no way I was walking down that road again and definitely not that soon!! Besides, It didn't seem like he had much of a sense of humor but I wasn't going to give him a chance to figure that out. At one time, I probably wouldn't have done that. Now look at me. I guess it is part of the deal.

[Amber]

I just realized that I posted the same post twice. Oh, well!

[Texinator]

For someone of the opposite sex that you have never kissed before but you are getting aroused by just looking at, what kind of feelings are you getting?

Physically the feeling is similar to anxiety or nervousness but in my mind there are feelings of excitement and hope rather than fear and worry. Butterflies in your stomach, your breathing becomes faster, and your senses become hypersensitive.

[WildChild]

. So I guess WC, you need to answer this. Is it tingling and fluttering or it just a tightness down below? All I think I have ever felt is a very little tightness down below or maybe feel like I have to relieve myself when I don't and that was probably from reading a book. If I felt that in the bedroom, I couldn't tell you because it is so subtle for me that I would have missed it because I was too nervous to even feel that.

Something I just thought of. I remember my ex told me that he had felt me wet down below at least on one occasion (I don't remember if it was more than once) when he was touching me down below. But I was very surprised when he told me this because I had not experienced anything wonderful from it. What is happening when a women gets wet down there? Is that arousement even though I had no wonderful feeling with it? I mean I did get the shivering on the rest of the body when he was touching me specifically on other places of my body but there was no feeling that traveled through my entire body or down below that I remember feeling.

Getting wet is part of arousal and the feeling of tingling, fluttering and tightness are also mostly likely an anticipation and arousal. Studies that monitor brain and body response have found that many women can be aroused and even orgasm without being aware of it. Essentially their brain is sexually disconnected from their body.

[Amber]

Tex, that must be something. Can't say I have ever experienced it before. I have been around so many men in my lifetime and never had I ever remember feeling what you describe. I can only hope it has something to do with my mind not being in on it. And even if I want to play with the idea, I never felt that way looking at a women either.

You know, I never remember reading in any of those romance books that they were great for each other, and when they shared a kiss, one of them felt nothing. No, you just see once in a while a movie, two people who were trying to force it but didn't really care for each other and they kiss. Then shake it off, saying it was like kissing my brother. So is that was it means. They felt nothing. Who on earth knows!

I can't wait to see the sex therapist tomorrow. Hopefully she can give me some answers. I just feel so disgusted about all of this.

[Texinator]

Was there anything in your upbringing that could account for any of this? Pressure from your family to stay away from boys, that physical intimacy is dirty, etcetera?

[WildChild]

Romance novels are not an indication of anything in real life!!!!

[ItsASecret]

Studies that monitor brain and body response have found that many women can be aroused and even orgasm without being aware of it. Essentially their brain is sexually disconnected from their body.

I watched something like that on tv once, and talked about it in one of my psychology classes, it was quite interesting. I was really jealous at how quick this woman could achieve the orgasm lol, until they said that this type of on the spot response was very rare to the point of them only being able to find this one woman who could orgasm on literally on command like that. Seeing the fMRI scan light up like a Christmas tree was neat though.