[Amber]

OhThereYouAre, nope I haven't made the appointment yet. I want to try other things first before I get those kind of results.

WC, you wouldn't believe how much she sounded like you. Are you a therapist and just haven't told me? She wants me to obviously keep trying to relax but she wants me to just start getting use to touching myself. And not down below just yet. Since I like the touch on my arms, she said to start there. Just slowly massage my arms and get use to the feel of it.

Also, she had wanted me maybe to try some medicine to calm me but I said no. I didn't want anything like that. So we agreed on wine. Have a glass of wine and once the relaxing feeling starts to seep into me, she said have a piece of chocolate truffle. Just savor the taste as you eat the liquid center inside. WC, that reminded me of what you said before. I told her about how you told me to be aware of my senses and such and she agreed with you.

So I bought some lint chocolate truffles yesterday which I usually eat sometimes anyways. And I went into Body and Bath and got some of the aromatherapy creams and a body massage oil. I got both a stress release scent and also a sensual scent. So that is what I used this morning, the sensual scent. It has Jasmine and Vanilla in it. It smells pretty nice, a subtle smell, not too strong. I sat on my bed, put Enya on and slowly start to massage the cream onto my arms and onto my chest. I did my best to block out what touching the arms mean to me. My ex use to lightly touch it and make me shiver when he touched there. Massaging it felt pretty nice also and I stayed with that more than the light touch. I'm not sure I would have been able to take the light touching this soon. But for a little bit there, I did relax some and it felt kind of nice.

I emailed my ex with what the therapist told me yesterday. And now I'm finished. Nothing else I can do. It just depends on how much he really cares about me, on what will end up happening. I now just have to move on. I have no choice.

I'm going out tonight to a movie and dinner with a singles event. It use to be a group that we both went to. I have to try to forget about those memories and make new ones. It won't be easy but I have no choice.

[Texinator]

Maybe the next time you're with a guy you like and it's moved to the kissing stage you just gotta kiss as often as possible. As you become used to kissing and as the practice makes you better (and gives you less reason to worry) the nerves will start going away and you'll be able to start feeling the spark.

[Guest]

Vino!

I think that is a great suggestion.

Nothing calms me like wine for whatever reason.

Good luck lady friend.

[Amber]

I just had the most strangest experience. I'm not sure strange is the right word but I will leave it up to you guys to decide.

I have nothing to do on this Saturday afternoon, so I decide to play with Scott and some balls.

Yep, only in my dreams. But this wasn't too bad either. I never got around to checking out my second DVD. This one is 1998 Playgirl Man of the Year. Ten time betters than the other DVD I have. 36 years old Scott and baby, he is hot!

So I'm over here and I decided maybe I'll get some homework done. It is too early for a glass of wine with some chocolate truffles but no one said I can't have some Scott with chocolate truffles. I don't know if you have ever had Lindt truffles before but they are in the shape of a ball, hard shell on the outside and when you bite into it, the center is soft and creamy. So here is Scott, under a slowly outside leaking shower and he is getting wet all over. While they show his chest, I'm slowly licking the chocolate ball. Then he slowly peals off his tight wet jeans to reveal his privates. Soon I'm s*cking on that ball. Eventually I have no choice but to bite into it, and I come to the creamy center. It is heaven but so is Scott. I'm finding that the chocolate ball is now starting to slip in my hands, and I s*ck on it a little faster. I now have about half of the ball in my hand and it just starts to get really weird. Here I am, watching Scott and the ball keeps slipping in my hand, and I continue to s*ck that ball, and all of a sudden feels awfully familiar but I can't place why. And I'm starting to breath heavier. I swear to you, I was kissing that chocolate. That is what it felt like, I was kissing chocolate lips. At times if felt like I was s*cking on the lower lip. I even used my tongue some. It was the most erotic chocolate ball experience I have ever had. lol The scene wasn't long enough so I to rewind a few times but the heavy breathing, hot and heavy part was all in one scene. Wow, I never thought Scott and Lindt chocolate could taste so good.

I have no idea if I could ever recreate that scene again. And if I did, I would turn into a moose from all of that chocolate. lol It was short but pretty sweet. I needed that pick me upper today. Back to watching some Scott!

[Texinator]

Go Amber! Go Amber! Go Amber!

[Amber]

All I really got out of it was some heavy breathing which I had gotten before with my ex also. But considering it was just chocolate and Scott on the screen, I consider that pretty good for me. And I do have to admit, it was a pretty wild experience. lol

[Texinator]

Heavy breathing means there is some arousal even if you didn't necessarily register it as such. It's something.

[WildChild]

Very good! Very, very good. You are learning to connect your sensory experiences with a sense of arousal. It's about so much more than sex or perhaps it's that everything is about sex? It's all intertwined; the senses, awareness, desire, experience. Not just eating the truffle but experiencing it on multple levels. Closing your eyes and tasting the smell, the feel of the chocolate melting on your tongue, not just the taste but the smoothness, the way it feels silky if you move your tongue and the melted chocolate around you mouth - it's getting the full experience from it.

That's a big part of what I like to play with when doing erotic writing. There may be very little sex but it can extremely sexy - bet you ares tarting to see what I mean?
I knew you would be able to do this! I always joke that I have to eat my first peach of the season in private (we grow amazing peaches) because it's too intense an experience for in public but it's not a joke and this why. I don't just eat it - I experience it- fully.
You just keep at it!

[Amber]

I'm over here doing my next homework assignment, the wine. I'm in my bedroom, sipping a glass of Merlow. At first I had turned on Scott, but then I decided to put him away for now.

Instead, Enya is playing. I'm just starting to feel the wine slowly relax me. I'm slowly massaging my legs up and down with the cream. I decided to make this a little more interesting that just the wine and chocolate. Right around his birthday, I had told him that I had bought some stuff from Victoria Secret but I didn't let him see it when it arrived. It was to be a surprise. Well, he never gave me the chance to show it to him. I'm wearing one of his presents right now, actually my favorite one. It is what they call a flyaway babydoll, delicate and delicious. It is a silky red baby doll with a big red bow tying it together in front. One pull on that big red bow, well there would have been a sight he would have enjoyed. His loss! Underneath is a skimpy red bikini that covers very little but then that is part of the fun. Thank goodness for the wine to help me pull this off. But then that is what it is suppose to do, mellow me out.

I'll finish the wine and let you know how luscious the chocolate ends up tasting.

[Texinator]

Sounds like you're a fast learner.