[Texinator]

The idea that a woman can't be both moral and sexually expressive is about the biggest pile of cow manure I've ever heard. It would be bad enough if that attitude were consistently applied to both men and woman, but the fact that many think a man with a sexual appetite is a stud and a woman with sexual urges is a is downright cruel.

Nothing about sex is dirty. A woman enjoying sex and experiencing pleasure is a beautiful thing. The same goes for men, of course. Morality should only enter the equation when sex ends up hurting another person. I truly believe the world would be a much better place if all guilt could be stripped away from sexual urges and experiences.

[Amber]

I posted this in the dating section also but I'm not sure if I will get any response over there. Since I'm always talking to you gals and guys over here, I thought I would just put it here also. I need some advise and don't have anyone in my personal life that i can go to. The last two guys, that went nowhere, i had gone to my ex for advise. He is actually pretty good at it too. But the rules of the latest game is no contact with him. Maybe it is for the best but I'm still thinking, screw him. I need a friend and he is not there for me.

So I came here.

I got an email from this guy i met a few times. I actually knew him when he was dating another woman in the singles crowd I hang out at. Don't get me wrong. I'm not steal anyone's boyfriend here. They have been broken up for a bit now and she is not a close friend by far.

So anyways, he emails me, asking me if i would like to hang out with him sometime or go to the same singles event. I have gotten two other offers in about the past month. Those two, I knew right of the bat, that it was a no. I'm not desperate. i was clearly not interested. But this guy, I'm wondering if I'm being desperate again. But then maybe no.

For anyone has been keeping along with my very long thread on the lounge, may have remember that I mentioned that I use to ballroom dance for over ten years. It ended up hurting me feet, enough that I will not be dancing again. I actually went through four foot surgeries because of it. I guess I have come to accept that over the last year or so because I don't really have a choice not to. Dancing was like an addiction to me. I couldn't get it out of my blood. When I stopped I thought it was the worst thing in the world. That is until i met my first really serious boyfriend and he broke my heart. I realized that having your heart broken hurts a of a lot worse than not being able to dance.

So I don't dance anymore. This guy, who emailed me, loves to dance. And I told him once, never thinking he was my type, told him that I couldn't dance because of my feet. I usually don't bring that up, if I can help it, but like I said I never thought he would ask me out. But he tried to get me to say that I would dance anyways, oh come on. You can do it. He couldn't get it into his head that it wasn't that I didn't want to dance, i reallly couldn't dance. I would be very lucky if I could get through one song without being in pain. I saw him a few times and one or twice more, he has brought up the dancing. He doesn't get it.

But the last time I saw it, dancing never came up. I was with a few other people. It wasn't a date or anything. but I remember how I like his personality and all. He is pretty cute, I guess.

So now he is asking me to hang out with him. He didn't mention dancing. But I always look ahead when maybe I shouldn't. I can't help but think that nothing could ever happen with this guy. he is addicted to dancing, something he loves to do all the time, and I can't dance. but he didn't say lets going dancing.

I dont' know. Maybe I am being desperate once again. I kind of wonder if I should accept the offer or if I should just sorry, I'll pass. If I accept the offer, should I come out right up front and say, sure I would like to hang out with you but I'm serious when I say I can't dance. So if you are looking for someone to dance with, it's not going to be me. Or should I just say yes.

[Texinator]

Go for it.

[Amber]

I don't know Tex. But I really can't think right now. My mother just emailed me. My grandfather has been in and out of the hospital a lot lately. He is 95 after all. But they had to put a tube in his throat this time and they plan on taking it out tomorrow. But if he can't breath on their own, the only way they could do it is to do a tracheotomy, which is to put the tube through his windpipe. My mother thinks that once one of those tubes goes in that way, it never comes out. I don't know if that is right or not. But if that is right, they can't do that because he has a Do not Resesitate form. So tomorrow may not be a good day for me. And I'm stuck going to a singles event that I have to host because the other woman who usually does couldn't go. I already agreed to it and it is my first time as host. So I can't bail out. But I'm just not in the mood for it.

I'll get back to the guy think in a bit. i have to go iron.

[jns]

I say go for it. Tell him because of the foot surgeries that you had, the most you can do is sway to the music. If he wants to dance he will have to dance to you. I take it that this will fit within your physical limitations. You may have to tell him that even this has a time limit for standing. I am sure you still love dancing, just are not able to do it. I know that is frustrating, see what you can do.

My answer, the same as by Tex, is on your other post.

[Amber]

If he still wanted to dance with me, I guess it depends on where he takes us. If you go to place that everyone is ballroom dancing, it won't be safe to be just swaying to the music. You would get trampled. And I'm not sure if I could take it watching everyone else dance when I can't. If we were just going to a place that is playing live music, in a bar or something, then you probably could get away with the swaying. But that is probably not his type of scenery. The first one is. And even as you said, standing in one place for too long does bother me.

I don't know. If I think of it on the lines of just going out and having some fun but nothing will probably come of it. that would probably work. But to think that there could be something with this guy in the long run is probably a lost cause. Because he does love dancing and I can't do it. I don't know what I will do.

[Texinator]

Don't write it off before you actually have a reason.

...and if you can't do it tomorrow, you can always reschedule for next weekend.

[Amber]

There is no set calendar date yet. I say calendar date because I didn't want you to think I was talking about the other date. I mean actually day. But I guess there is none of that kind of date either yet. lol

He just said sometime. I have to get back to him first. He first emailed me about a week ago, I replied about 12hrs later. he waited a week. So he can wait a little before I finally email him back. Because i'm not ready yet not because I'm trying to play games with him.

[mr.mansview]

i agree with tex and jns..if he likes you, and he obviously does, he shouldn't care if you can dance or not..at least i wouldn't..i'd just be happy you didn't turn me down..if you have to reschedule then say so..as i said..if he likes you he'll wait, sounds like you're worth it

[Amber]

Doc, when I use to dance, it was before it was popular. I did it for ten years. And for some reason, myself and all of my friends, it was like we were addicted to it. That is all we ever did. I must have danced about three to four times a week for over ten years. Now that it much more popular, maybe more people do it but they are not as addicted. But the way this guy talks, i don't know for sure, but I'm afraid he is just as addicted as I was. I wonder if he can really handled the fact that I can't dance.

i haven't emailed him back with a no yet. I'm still considering it, I guess.