[Amber]

Thanks lovelyfirefly for the advise.

I really would like to be able to masturbate before the next guy comes around. But the way I'm going, I don't think it is going to happen. That is if the guy even comes around!!

[Texinator]

I really would like to be able to masturbate before the next guy comes around. But the way I'm going, I don't think it is going to happen. That is if the guy even comes around!!

I guess I'm just in a really silly mood, but I could do a lot with those sentences

[Amber]

I guess I'm just in a really silly mood, but I could do a lot with those sentences

Well, what is stopping you? LOL Tex, since when have you become shy?

[jns]

Getting in the mood is my main problem.
...
A big part I still don't understand about masturbation.
...
I may not be a virgin but I consider myself close to it. Actually I may be worse off that a virgin. Because hopefully a virgin is not as messed up as I feel. My only experiences with men have been lousy. The first guy it took about an hour and a half to enter me and when he finally did, I felt like he was riding me like a bull. I had no feelings for this guy anyways. It was a friends with benefit deal. That with him playing with my clitoris that only left me feeling aggitated because I had never been touched there before.

Then my ex-boyfriend, I was always too nervous to enjoy it. My mind wander and it was never on what he was doing to me. And when it was, I was never comfortable. I was not relaxed. When he first started touching me, it was either standing up somewhere, which with my feet and knee problems, I definitely can't relax enough like that. Or in a back seat of a car, sitting up. Not very relaxing either. But then when we finally got into the bedroom, I was just way, way too nervous. I couldn't get into the mood. When I touched him, I felt so self-consciuos. I was afraid that I was doing it all wrong. I wanted to please him so much but I had no idea how. It was all before I had read up on anything. I'll never forget what it was like in that bedroom. I remember one time, i'm lying on my back and he is touching me. I'm nervous and I'm not focused on him. I'm listening to the TV that I hear in the other room. He is giving me an oral and it feels very strange to me. It feels breeze and wet. That's all. Or when he is touching my clitoris, it makes me feel aggiatated. I was never relaxed in there. Never focused on him. I knew nothing about sex. I mean nothing!! I had no idea that the mind played a part in sex. Had no clue. He found me wet once but that shocked the heck out of me. By the time I realized that the mind plays a part, he had already ended it with me. I have never been with another guy since.

Amber, do you get a feeling when you see a handsome guy and just want to hug and kiss him? Maybe a movie star. A lot of women seem to like Brad Pitt. If you do, that is what you should think of when you are trying to masturbate, instead of just trying to relax. Get a poster of your handsome guy or print a picture life sized and put it where you can see it. Imagine yourself talking to him and he answers back in a voice that you find incredibly sexy, maybe a rich baritone or bass voice. You talk about something you want to talk about and he answers in an incredibly correct and clever way. He is everything you want and he is there just for you. You want to wrap your arms and legs around him and never let go of the fantasy.

A scenario:

Now go for touching your clitoris or clitoral hood if your clitoris is too sensitive. Think of hugging and kissing your guy at the same time rub or squeeze lightly in a rhythmic pattern. As you find out what makes your muscles clench and your breathing quicken, increase the pace doing that motion. Reach a finger down to your vaginal opening and see if you have become wet.

If you have, bring some of that lubrication up to the area of your clitoris and use it to be able to increase the rhythmic activity without too much friction. Slow down after a few minutes and start over building up your sexual excitement. When you are becoming so excited you cannot stand it and your legs are trembling with nervousness, continue at a rapid, but rhythmic pace and you may reach an orgasm soon.

[Amber]

Jns, I'll try what you suggest when I have a chance. Thanks! I already have my Matt Damon picture. I think no matter what I try, it won't happen right away. But I wouldn't mind some progress.

[Amber]

I'm doing my happy dance today because I made some progress last night. Still no orgasm but I got more response out of my body than ever before. Sorry but I'm in the mood for the long version of this story.

I gulped down my glass of wine last night and then lay down on my bed. Room was lowly dimmed and I was watching Titanic on my laptop computer. Titanic is my favorite movie but I never used it to try to orgasm before! LOL

I watched pretty much from when the ship sailed to the part when the ship was struck by the iceberg. In the beginning I was touching myself down below on my own and when feeling nothing really after a while, turned to my dolphin silver bullet vibrator. So far that vibrator has been the one to give me the best sensation. I still have some more toys in my box that I haven't tried yet.

So anyways, i was trying to get myself in a romantic mood. And Jack and Rose does have that effect on me. But I'm watching it and I couldn't help but laugh in the beginning because I never noticed it before. I felt like I was robbing the cradle with Leo being so young! LOL But the scene that he is on the deck with her at the bow and then him drawing her started to get me in the mood. Then the scene they are in the carriage together. But these scenes are too short.

But what did it for me was after watching it all, I started to find certain scenes again. That is when I came upon to the part when they are on the deck. He brought her up to the bow, held her in his arms, and tenderly touched her hand. I replayed the same scene again and that is when it started to happen. The melody of My Heart Will Go On is playing in the background, when he takes her hand to lead her to the bow, the vibrator is making me feel that edginess that I have turned into a more positive feeling over the past months. But instead of focusing on the feeling like I usually do, I look at Rose and Jack, and I had this sudden urge that I so much wanted my ex to hold me in his arms. So much so that it hurt so much. Jack held Rose in his arm and for once, after so long, I finally remembered what it felt like to be held in my ex's arms. I love the feeling of being held. And last night I was desperately craving for that touch. Jack tenderly touched her along the hand and I remember how my ex use to lightly touched mine. I kept pressing the button to replay the scene over and over again. While I was having those craving, my legs began to sweat and my face started to burn. I was able to rewatch the scene probably about four or five times, before keep pressing the button to watch the scene, distracted me too much that I was forgetting the wonderful feeling of being held. I was snapping out of it. But after about that fourth or fifth time, not my whole body but my legs were dripping wet from sweat and as I mentioned before, my face was burning. I think my hips may have been arching up and down but I don't remember if that started before or after I lost the moment. Because I must have watched that scene a dozen times before I gave us and knew it was no good.

The scene was too SHORT!!!! Ugg! But I made progress for once. I never sweat like that before. I'm not sure if I ever felt the burning in the face either. And when I went to touch myself without the vibrator, I wasn't positive but I think I was "wet". I say that because it is the end of my period. It wasn't blood but it could have been the gel. But the gel eventually wears off and I was too wet to be that. So I think I might have made myself wet last night. I have never done that before!!

It has been almost a year since my ex held me in his arms and I'm having a hard time recalling what that feels like, to be held. That wonderful warm feeling that I know exists. So it is not like I can just think of that and orgasm. It seems it takes some real romancing before I can recall how it felt and it was wonderful.

Ok, lecture time. yep, I know I have been banned from seeing my ex until I have gotten over him and this is not helping it!!! But dam if he can get me to orgasm, i may make a detour in getting over him. I kind of wonder if I can relate that feeling to just any guy holding me. But I want to say maybe unfortunately not because what was fueling me there besides remembering what it felt like to be held was the desperation of wanting to be held by him. I almost cried the emotions hurt so much. It made a pent up feeling inside of me, some of it was the feelings down belong mixed with my emotional feelings of desperately wanting to be touched again.

And once again i was alone in that bed. So I guess the question is how much do I want to orgasm. Because it seems emotional torment of wanting my ex, so far, is the only thing that has ever turned me on. Normally I try to think up a fantasy and there is no emotion inside of me to back it up. This was so different. And I know it wasn't just the vibrator making me sweat because it was hot in my room. Because my torso didn't sweat and I have used that vibrator even longer, and didn't sweat at all. And the room wasn't that hot.

This may seem minor to some but it was a big break through for me!! And something tells me my ex may not appreciate it all but at this point, I really don't care!! LOL

[Amber]

I think I may need to start going to random guys and say, "Hey hug me, hug me. I need to remember how it feels." But something tells me that won't work. LOL I don't think that would give me the same wonderful feeling as it gives me what I'm being touch by someone I have feelings for. But it was a thought.

Sounds like something you would have came up with Tex. LOL

[Texinator]

I always love to hear when a woman is wet, but I think this is one of the very few times where I can also tell her that I am proud of her for getting wet!

[Amber]

I always love to hear when a woman is wet, but I think this is one of the very few times where I can also tell her that I am proud of her for getting wet!

Thanks Tex!

[Texinator]

Well, what is stopping you? LOL Tex, since when have you become shy?

I was going to say that if you two time it just right, maybe y'all coild come around together.