[Amber]

How about talking a little dirty to yourself during your 'homework'? Maybe that'll you stay focused and relaxed.

Ok, I feel stupid. lol But then you should know that I'm pretty clueless in all of this stuff. Talking dirty? I have obviously heard of people saying that but what exactly does that really mean. What kind of things would someone actually say that might turn them on? Since I have never heard that kind of talk in the bedroom, I wonder if it would even have a reaction on me. Something tells me that it would not but you never know.

Keep in mind, I haven't been touching myself down below yet. She just wants me to touch other parts of my body that feel natural to me, like legs, arms. Just so I get use to being touched. I haven't graduated to the good parts yet. She doesn't even know about the porn but I figure it can't hurt.

[Texinator]

Usually people talk dirty to each other but you could try it out on yourself. Even if you're only touching your arms or your stomach. Choose a body part and while you're touching it say something about it that seems sexy to you. Exaggerate a little. For example you could say 'I love the silky smooth skin on my well tone arms' Go for the adjectives.

Later you could kick it up a notch. See if you like something naughtier. For example if you're touching your breasts instead of saying 'I love touching my beautiful breasts' try something like 'I love caressing my perky t*ts and playing with my hard nipples'.

If you feel silly describing yourself like that then another idea might be trying to describe in dirty talk the things you see on your DVDs.

[Amber]

Honestly, I think I would feel a little self conscious doing that. Not sure why. It could be because I don't see myself as being that sexy yet. I may try but I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. Maybe it might be better if I try to talk dirty when I watch the DVDs.

I probably would need to develop a whole new vocabulary to pull that off. Words that I have never used before. Maybe I need to check out some of your postings to figure out how to talk that way.

[Texinator]

I think my postings are relatively tame compared to what you could be saying to yourself.

But it's about whatever you're in the mood for in that moment. Sometimes sexier is nice, sometimes naughtier is nice. If you don't know, you'll just have to see what works. And there's no reason to feel self conscious. The whole point aside from keeping your mind occupied is to get yourself turned on and feeling good about yourself.

[Amber]

Where do you learn how to talk dirty? Where do you pick up this kind of language? I'm really clueless on this. Do you know any websites or something?

[Texinator]

I'm sure there are websites. But it's pretty easy to teach yourself. I think I started off when I was just goofing around and then I realized, hey, that's actually kind of arousing, especially for the other person. The key is to be direct and descriptive. Don't use vague terms. Like in the arm example above, don't just say 'I have nice arms' but go with the 'I love the silky smooth skin on my well toned arms' Or if touching starts to include naughty places (see, I'm being vague. What touching? What naughty places?) don't say 'I wanna do something naughty with my vagingle' Describe the naughty thing you wanna do. Describe your vagingle. And use a better word than 'vagingle'!

It takes practice to find out what turns you on and to find the balance between sounding too tame and too corny.

[Texinator]

I like the blog idea by the way..BUT every entry says it is set to private, and I think that means only three of us can read it then.

[Amber]

I have it set up so only my friends can read it. Do you think that I should have it open to the public? I wasn't sure I wanted to do that or not. Especially after today's post. I'll probably get lectured on that one. Even though I know it is doing me no good, I couldn't help myself.

[Texinator]

No problem, just wanted to make sure that's what you wanted.

Don't worry about the 'relapse' As long as you're making some progress overall, that's what's important. At least you're out and about and trying to meet new people.

[Texinator]

Where do you learn how to talk dirty? Where do you pick up this kind of language? I'm really clueless on this. Do you know any websites or something?

There'll be a quiz on this on Monday by the way!