[Mes T]

Yes why HAVE I kept the pictures. I hope some day I'll have the strength to get rid of absolutely everything. I can imagine how... cleansing that might feel.

That's a good point about maybe him just being an actor in the video. Maybe he's kept it more like a porn vid than to remember the girl.

[tritonalum07]

Well, he may have kept it out of respect for her (although making a sex tape in the first place, whether consensual or not, is disrespectful to me for some reason that I can't explain....I don't know). If he throws it out, who knows what pervert will find it in the trash and have fun on their own at home in front of their t.v. Would you want someone to find a sex tape of you and your ex randomly in a trash can somewhere? Maybe he doesn't know how to get rid of it in a way that it won't be viewable by anyone.

[Mes T]

He could break the CD or if it's a tape, he could tear it...

[Month36]

Thanks everyone for all the responses, it has put my mind at ease a bit. I guess I save pictures and what not from old realationships, although they are packed and stored away at my parents house.. I suppose a sex tape isn't something to leave around for mom and dad to find. lol Either way, I think i've decided it's best to just leave the thing alone.. and try to block it out of my memory, although it's still disturbing... it was never meant for my viewing. Lesson learned... snooping is a bad idea.

[stressed]

Oh my God, I've done the same thing and had almost the same results lol

I found 10+ year old pictures of him and his ex having sex. I was disappointed because I thought he would have thrown them by the time I moved in, but knowing how lazy he is I can understand why. It bothered me a little bit, since sex is an issue for us and he hardly ever does to me what he did to her in these pictures, so I burnt them the moment I found them. I didn't tell him anything until it came up months later during an argument that was sex related. I told him I had found them and I felt bad about it because he's not like that with me. He said those were very old, he had more energy back then and asked me to throw them since they meant nothing to him. I said I had already done so and he was ok with that. He wasn't upset about it, I got the feeling that he felt sorry he hadn't thrown them earlier and added that I am better than her anyway (at least he tried to patch things up performance-wise).

Although, now that I recall, I found those pics when I was cleaning an old furniture and not out of snooping. Snooping has led me to finding old humongous phone bills abroad, dating and escort sites, a chat log of a girl who undressed for him for money one time he was drunk, and post cards of girls who had a crush on him (or had told him they loved him and I wasn't aware of). I did it because I wanted to know what kind of man I was moving in with and I'm glad I did because we discussed about it all. Needless to say he had shown me suspicious signs beforehand. I've shared an apartment with an ex before but I didn't think of doing the same.

But I think your man has most likely just forgotten about the tape or just hasn't bothered to throw it. I remember I've done the same, had kept such photos of an ex and when my boyfriend (at the time) found them he got mad enough to hit me and abuse me about them. All that because I didn't bother to delete them from the computer.

[Guest]

I know being bored isn't the reason for you to snoop. But what you did wasn't very respectful to him or you. You may "let it go" but you know darn well, what you found will come up in a fight. You snooping on him is just going to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Be careful.

[Mes T]

I agree with the snooping thing. Not cool.. aaalways leads to something bad...

Anyway, a couple of days ago I was flipping through a book of my bf's, and a picture of some girl fell out. He quickly picked it up, put it on the table upside down, and then a few minutes later tucked it safely away into another pile of pics.

I'm guessing that was a pic of an ex. This hasn't happened to me in previous relationships, but I guess this is normal... I haven't brought it up... but darnit it's bothering me. Makes me feel less secure in the relationship, if he feels he needs to keep these backups. Ohhhh boy. I'm trying really hard to just let it go.

[danceintx]

I agree with the snooping thing. Not cool.. aaalways leads to something bad...

Anyway, a couple of days ago I was flipping through a book of my bf's, and a picture of some girl fell out. He quickly picked it up, put it on the table upside down, and then a few minutes later tucked it safely away into another pile of pics.

I'm guessing that was a pic of an ex. This hasn't happened to me in previous relationships, but I guess this is normal... I haven't brought it up... but darnit it's bothering me. Makes me feel less secure in the relationship, if he feels he needs to keep these backups. Ohhhh boy. I'm trying really hard to just let it go.

Didn't you say in other posts you have pics of other past realtionships?

[Mes T]

Didn't you say in other posts you have pics of other past realtionships?

Yep! I won't deny I'm a hypocrite with these sorts of things! It's mostly because I know what I'm thinking, but can only guess things about my SO.

[stressed]

Yep! I won't deny I'm a hypocrite with these sorts of things! It's mostly because I know what I'm thinking, but can only guess things about my SO.

Ask him calmly about it because otherwise it won't get out of your mind. And next time it happens, just ask right away, you are allowed to. Just never ask in a threatening manner or cause an argument over it. He will understand and you have the right to ask. He'll say it's an ex, it was stupid to have it there, might feel a little bit embarassed, but you will forgive him and calm down.